The Best 14 Pushups Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pushups jokes. There are some pushups strength jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pushups obediently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pushups Jokes and Puns

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a condom. Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest.

George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.

A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late...

The boy replied "Sorry sir, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane." The teacher excused him and he sat down.

Five minutes later, another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He replied "sorry I'm late, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane.

Another five minutes later, a girl walks into class, late. The teacher says "I suppose you were doing push-ups on Abbey Lane too." The girl replied "No sir, I am Abbey Lane"

Pushups joke, A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late...

I figured I could never quit smoking, so I decided to at least stay healthy in other ways. Every time I had a smoke I would do 10 push-ups.

I'm still out of shape, but I haven't touched a cigarette in months...

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them


My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV

Man... I love Netflix!

A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.

The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.

As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.

He looks at him for a minute and then nudges him in the ribs saying, "Hey, Pal, I think your girl friend has gone home."

Pushups joke, A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.

My therapist said some exercises would add me several years...

and he was right. I've made 15 push-ups right now and I feel like I'm 85 years old.

Me: I can't do pull-ups or push-ups

Wife: But you can do a lot of fuck-ups

Why couldn't the T-rex do any push-ups?

Because they're extinct you dumbass

Yo mama's so fat,

She tried to do push-ups, but just bench pressed the earth

You can explore pushups handstand reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pushups bush dad jokes. There are also pushups puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


ROTC PT drill instructor: "Are you TIRED of doing pushups yet, cadet!? "

"Tired as an 18-wheeler, sir!"

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

Obama challenges W to the Presidential Fitness Challenge

Obama was able to do nine hundred and ten pushups.

Bush did 911

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pushups cardio jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pushups squat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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