Pushups Jokes
25 pushups jokes and hilarious pushups puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pushups that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pushups Short Jokes
Short pushups jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pushups humour may include short strength jokes also.
- How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realise it's half empty.
- What does a push-up bra and a bag of chips have in common? When you open them, they're only half full.
- Those push-up bras aren't very good, are they? I wore my wife's to the gym this morning and I still couldn't manage more than six.
- My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV Man... I love Netflix!
- My therapist said some exercises would add me several years... and he was right. I've made 15 push-ups right now and I feel like I'm 85 years old.
- I finally started working out. I did 15 push-up today... well, actually, I fell down and that's how many times it took me to get back up.
- ROTC PT drill instructor: "Are you TIRED of doing pushups yet, cadet!? " "Tired as an 18-wheeler, sir!"
- What does a weightlifting divorce attorney have in common with a good push-up bra? They both lift and separate.
- Two women are sitting in a cafe discussing work.. One says to the other "How do you like your job testing push-up bras?" The other woman replies, "It has its perks."
- Obama challenges W to the Presidential Fitness Challenge Obama was able to do nine hundred and ten pushups.
Bush did 911
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Pushups One Liners
Which pushups one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pushups? I can suggest the ones about bush and squat.
- How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them
- Why can't a Tyrannosaurus Rex do pushups? Because they're extinct.
- What do they call a pushup in Paris? A French press
- Push-ups are easy. I can do them with my eyes closed.
- Yo mama's so fat, She tried to do push-ups, but just bench pressed the earth
- Push-up Brah Awkward when you call your gym buddy that.
- What does a dyslexic buy to get into shape? A pushup bra
- A pushup bra is like a bag of chips. You open it up and its half empty.
- Hey George. I just bought a push-up bra. Cool, thanks for the uplifting news.
- Why did the T-rex fail boot camp? He couldn't do pushups
- How many pushups can Chuck Norris do? All of them!
- Me: I can't do pull-ups or push-ups Wife: But you can do a lot of f**...-ups
- Why couldn't the T-rex do any push-ups? Because they're extinct you d**...
- How do you exorcise a d**...? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups
Hilarious Fun Pushups Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about pushups you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cardio jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pushups pranks.
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest.
George W. Bush challenged arnold schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.
A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late...
The boy replied "Sorry sir, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane." The teacher excused him and he sat down.
Five minutes later, another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He replied "sorry I'm late, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane.
Another five minutes later, a girl walks into class, late. The teacher says "I suppose you were doing push-ups on Abbey Lane too." The girl replied "No sir, I am Abbey Lane"
I figured I could never quit smoking, so I decided to at least stay healthy in other ways. Every time I had a smoke I would do 10 push-ups.
I'm still out of shape, but I haven't touched a cigarette in months...
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.
The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then nudges him in the ribs saying, "Hey, Pal, I think your girl friend has gone home."
