Push Ups Jokes
28 push ups jokes and hilarious push ups puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about push ups that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Push Ups Short Jokes
Short push ups jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The push ups humour may include short push up bra jokes also.
- While in Soviet Russia, I went to visit a doctor. "What happened to you?" He said.
"Migraine" i replied.
He bent forward, push upped his glasses and said, "Correction. Ourgrain." - My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV Man... I love Netflix!
- My therapist said some exercises would add me several years... and he was right. I've made 15 push-ups right now and I feel like I'm 85 years old.
- Did you hear that the unions for Bridgestone, FedEx, and UPS are pushing for a merger? They wanted to be rebranded as The Local Tired and FedUp.
- Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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Push Ups One Liners
Which push ups one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with push ups? I can suggest the ones about workout and lifting weights.
- Why can't t-rexs do push ups? Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.
- How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them
- Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups ... He does Earth downs.
- Push-ups are easy. I can do them with my eyes closed.
- Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
- Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
- Me: I can't do pull-ups or push-ups Wife: But you can do a lot of f**...-ups
- How do you exorcise a d**...? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups
Push Ups Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about push ups you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bench press jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make push ups pranks.
George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest.
George W. Bush challenged arnold schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.
A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late...
The boy replied "Sorry sir, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane." The teacher excused him and he sat down.
Five minutes later, another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He replied "sorry I'm late, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane.
Another five minutes later, a girl walks into class, late. The teacher says "I suppose you were doing push-ups on Abbey Lane too." The girl replied "No sir, I am Abbey Lane"
I figured I could never quit smoking, so I decided to at least stay healthy in other ways. Every time I had a smoke I would do 10 push-ups.
I'm still out of shape, but I haven't touched a cigarette in months...
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.
The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then nudges him in the ribs saying, "Hey, Pal, I think your girl friend has gone home."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was just talking to this chick, i said I can do 80 push ups.
She said Get out of here. I said Yep, do you want me to show you? She said No, I mean, get out of the women's toilets!
chunk norris is god
1.Chuck norris killed the Dead Sea.
2.When Chuck norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is ...pushing the earth down. ...3.There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Chuck norris allowed to live. 4.Chuck norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 Chuck norris can divide by zero.
6.Chuck norris can judge a book by it's cover.
7.Chuck norris can drown a fish.
8.Chuck norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
9.Chuck norris once got into a fight with a VCR player.Now it plays DVDs.
10.Chuck norris can slam a revolving door
Heaven
Three guys are at the gates of heaven. The angel Gabriel tells them that he has to know how they died before he lets them in. The first guy says "I came home to my apartment on the 4th floor to find that I had been robbed! I was looking around to see if the thief left any signs, and check out the damage, and I saw someone outside the balcony hanging for their life. Thinking they were the thief, I smashed their fingers with a hammer and they fell. Miraculously, they survived. So I pushed my refrigerator off the balcony and it fell on top of them and killed them. Realizing what I had done, I had a heart attack and died. Gabriel says "Well, you obviously were in shock, and you clearly were remorseful, so I'll let you in." The second guy says "I was doing pull-ups on my 5th floor balcony railing when I slipped underneath the rail and fell. Luckily I managed to grab onto the 4th floor railing and was hanging on for dear life when this crazy guy ran up and started pounding at my fingers with a hammer. I fell to the street below, but miraculously I survived. The last thing I saw was him pushing his fridge off the balcony, and it fell on me and killed me." Gabriel says "Although you were reckless, it wasn't your intent, so go on in." The third guy says "I was robbing this guys apartment, and heard him unlocking the door, so I jumped into the fridge."