The Best 65 Purple Jokes

Puns about the color purple are sure to make you purple with laughter! From grape to lavender jokes, thesepurple puns will have you seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

Top 10 Funniest Purple Jokes and Puns

Humans are like grapes...

Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.

What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?

Adorable
(A-dora-bull)

A ship carrying red paint collided with another that was carrying purple paint

Both crews were marooned

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"

jokes about purple

Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint

CNN reports that both crews are marooned


Cutest joke ever

What does a red grape tell a purple grape? Breathe, you idiot! Breathe!!

A pink cruise ship crashed into a purple cruise ship.

You could say the passengers were marooned.

Purple joke, A pink cruise ship crashed into a purple cruise ship.

I recently found out that I'm colorblind...

It came out of the purple.

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

Why was purple jealous?

Because red blue green.

I found out I was colorblind last week...

...came right out of the purple.

You can explore purple plum reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean purple magenta dad jokes. There are also purple puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are elephants big and grey?

Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.

Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color?

If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!

Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.

Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday.

The news came out of the purple.

Purple joke, I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday.

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

I've just been diagnosed as Colorblind..

I know, it certainly has come out of the purple.

There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea.

One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.

They collide...

All the survivors were marooned.


What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe dammit, BREATHE!

I just found out I'm colorblind. I'm absolutely shocked!

It came right out of the purple.

I bought purple Jell-O mix and now I feel like a superhero.

With grape powder comes great responsibility.

I found out I was colourblind today

It was totally out of the purple

Purple joke, I found out I was colourblind today

I just found out I'm colorblind

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

What happens if u throw a purple hat in the black sea?

It gets wet.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.


I was just diagnosed with colorblindness

The result came completely out of the purple

A doctor told me I was colorblind

But I don't trust purple people

A joke my little sister thought of today

A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?

An orange man.

A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.

"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.


I have recently been diagnosed with colorblindness

That really came out of the purple

What do you call a member of the blue man group when he's caught red-handed betraying his fellow blue men?

The purple traitor of a crime.

I just got diagnosed as colour blind!

I didn't expect that - it came straight out of the purple!

I've just been scammed by a Nigerian Prince

His version of Purple Rain was abysmal.

Found out I was color blind yesterday.

It came out of the purple.

Roses are red, That much is true

But violets are purple
Not freakin blue

Today my doctor told me I was colorblind.

The results came completely out of the purple...

Yesterday, the doctor told me I was colorblind.

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

I never knew my grandfather but I just learned he had a purple heart.

It's terrible what alcoholism does to your organs.

Purple is my least favourite color

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

I Googled the symptoms of dementia

But all the links were purple.

Never trust a website with purple terms and conditions.

They clearly violet your privacy.

Grandpa: You can tell if a guy is gay from the color of his underwear.

Grandson: You mean like if they're pink, or purple?

Grandpa: What the hell is wrong with a guy wearing pink or purple?! No, no, no: white stains on the back side, brown stains on the front!

What's purple and smells like Mars?

Apartment!

What did the Green grape say to the Purple grape?

Breathe idiot! Breathe!

I hate the color purple

I hate it more than red and blue combined

I just found out I'm colorblind.

The news came out of the purple

I tried searching up "Dementia" on google

but for some reason, all the links were purple.

yesterday the doctor said i was color blind

the diagnosis came out of the purple

I just found out that I'm colorblind

It completely came out of the purple

Did you hear about the boat carrying red paint that crashed into the boat carrying purple paint?

I hear some of the crew is believed to be marooned.

This morning my wife walked in and started hitting me with a bouquet of purple flowers…

She woke up and chose violets.

I was diagnosed with color blindness the other day.

It really came out of the purple.

I tried searching Alzheimer's on Google…

… but for some reason all the links were purple.

I just found out that I'm color-blind.

This came right out of the purple.

I did a google search for Alzheimer's...

But for some reason all the links were already purple.

Found out today that I'm colorblind.

It really came out of the purple!

We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=666.

And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.

While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was.

I replied "he's a purple Muppet with pointy teeth, but that's not important right now."

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe!

Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple?

Because she heard it through the grapevine...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the purple royal blue puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working purple grape piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes