Purple Jokes

What are some Purple jokes?

I just found out I'm colorblind

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

I found out I was colourblind today

It was totally out of the purple

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe dammit, BREATHE!

I recently found out that I'm colorblind...

It came out of the purple.

I found out I was colorblind last week...

...came right out of the purple.

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

I was just diagnosed with colorblindness

The result came completely out of the purple

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

I've just been diagnosed as Colorblind..

I know, it certainly has come out of the purple.

Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color?

If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!

A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.

"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."

Why are elephants big and grey?

Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.

A doctor told me I was colorblind

But I don't trust purple people

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"

Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.

Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned

Cutest joke ever

What does a red grape tell a purple grape? Breathe, you idiot! Breathe!!

What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

Roses are red, That much is true

But violets are purple
Not freakin blue

Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint

CNN reports that both crews are marooned

I bought purple Jell-O mix and now I feel like a superhero.

With grape powder comes great responsibility.

There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea.

One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.

They collide...

All the survivors were marooned.

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

What do you call a member of the blue man group when he's caught red-handed betraying his fellow blue men?

The purple traitor of a crime.

That's not a bowling ball, dad.

This weekend me and my dad were out bowling, you see. He gets his shoes on, and picks his ball from the rack. A nice, shiny, pinkish purple ball. He throws it down the lane, and we can't find it. The thing is gone. We look for at least an hour for this ball, but it's vanished. In the car on the way home (for automotive reasons) we pull into a gas station. My dad perks up, face scrunching in focus, and he says: "there's the ball!"

I said: "Dad, that's a short fat man buying a granola bag."

A joke my little sister thought of today

A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?

An orange man.

Found out I was color blind yesterday.

It came out of the purple.

The Black Knight.

Once there was a black knight. He traveled far and wide to find his princess bride.

He came to a kingdom to see the king. when he arrived, he heard that the king had the most beautiful daughter that anyone had ever seen.

he went to the king and asked if he could marry the princess. the king said

"you could after he got the red gem from the red dragon."

The knight searched far and wide for many, many months. then, when he found the red dragon, he killed it and took its gem.

The Black Knight went to the king and gave him the red gem. the king said

"you can marry my daughter after you kill the purple dragon and bring me the purple gem."

The knight searched far and wide for many, many months. then, when he found the purple dragon, he killed it and took its gem.

The Black Knight went to the king and gave him the purple gem. the king said

"you can marry my daughter after you kill the blue dragon and bring me the blue gem."

The knight searched far and wide for many, many months. then, when he found the blue dragon, he killed it and took its gem.

The Black Knight went to the king and gave him the blue gem. the king said," you can marry my daughter."

The knight ran around the castle and up the stairs. he passed the kitchen, the dungeon, and the royal bedroom.

When he finally got to the princesses room, he got on one knee and said " will you marry me?"

"No" she said.

I have recently been diagnosed with colorblindness

That really came out of the purple

A ship carrying red paint collided with another that was carrying purple paint

Both crews were marooned

I just found out I'm colorblind. I'm absolutely shocked!

It came right out of the purple.

Why was purple jealous?

Because red blue green.

I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday.

The news came out of the purple.

A pink cruise ship crashed into a purple cruise ship.

You could say the passengers were marooned.

I've just been scammed by a Nigerian Prince

His version of Purple Rain was abysmal.

I just got diagnosed as colour blind!

I didn't expect that - it came straight out of the purple!

What happens if u throw a purple hat in the black sea?

It gets wet.

Colorblind

I went to visit the doctor and he told me I was colorblind. The news came out of the purple.

I went to the doctor yesterday. Turns out I'm color blind.

It really came out of the purple.

Humans are like grapes...

Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.

What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?

Adorable
(A-dora-bull)

Just found out I'm color blind..

It came out of the purple!

So I asked my friend with synesthesia the time...

He said half past purple

Who lives here?

If a purple man lives in a purple house, a yellow man lives in a yellow house , and a orange man lives in a orange house.



Who lives in the white house?



No one, because the orange man is on vacation.

How did the colors get rid of purple from the rainbow?

Non-violet protests

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

What do you call a Sikh with a purple turban?

Lavinder Singh

Why did Purple hate Red?

Because she left him feeling Blue

I went to the optometrist the other day and he told me I was colourblind...

It came right out of the purple

The color red walks over to the table where Blue and Purple are sitting

"Sorry," says Blue, "you can't sit with us. You aren't cool enough."

A little girl came home from sunday school and told her dad, "Daddy, the priest made me do something naughty today"

"WHAT??? WHAT HAPPENED???", he bellowed.

"Well, he took me back to his room and told me to take off my dress" said the girl.

"AND THEN WHAT??", he asked, his face turning purple.

"He took off his robe"

"HE DID WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT?", he demanded, starting to breathe heavily

"Well, that was it" said the girl.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? MAKE SOMETHING UP, THEN, I'M ALMOST FINISHED!!!"

How are an elephant and a grape alike?

They're both purple.....

Except for the elephant.

As a purple faced man, one day I hope to meet a purple faced women...

They tell me I shouldn't hold my breath

What's the Queen's favorite Prince song?

Purple Reign.

I just found out i'm colorblind

this is so unexpected, it came right out of the purple!

What color are your panties, babe?

Boy: What color are your panties, babe?

Girl: Why do you keep asking me stupid questions, don't you ever think about anything else?

Boy: Ok, do you think the republicans should support the congress with their decision to raise the debt ceiling ?

Girl:You know i am wearing your favourite purple lace panties..You want a pic?

My grandfather was telling me about his Purple Heart.

I told him he should really see a doctor.

I was diagnosed with color blindness just an hour ago.

It came right out of the purple.

Why'd magneto stop wearing purple?

Because the days of fuchsia passed.

Its cool to pee into blue toilet water and watch it turn a different color...

just not when it turns purple

How to make Purple jokes?

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