Purely Jokes
29 purely jokes and hilarious purely puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about purely that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Purely Short Jokes
Short purely jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The purely humour may include short solely jokes also.
- I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...
- I can't take my dog to the park anymore. He keeps getting attacked by ducks. I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.
- I realized that I can't take my dog to the park anymore. He keeps getting attacked by ducks. I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.
- What do you call an airplane that flies backwards? a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha
- Receiving a kiss while sleeping is the most pure form of love there is... Unless you're in prison
- I can't take my dog to the park anymore.. Every time we show up, all of the ducks try to eat him... I guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog..
- I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because ducks keep attacking him That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog
- I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white. Looked pretty plane to me.
- It's frustrating, every time I take my new dog to the park, the ducks just won't leave him alone. I guess it's kind of my fault, I shouldn't have gotten a pure-bread dog.
- Every time I take my dog for a walk in the park, he gets attacked by all of the ducks there. Thats what I get for having a pure bread dog
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Purely One Liners
Which purely one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with purely? I can suggest the ones about exclusively and completely.
- A Pure Mathematics degree is useless… I want a Pure mathematics radian.
- A society without plates Would be pure dishtopia
- What do you call an ocean of orange soda? A pure fanta sea.
- Why doesn't one argue with π? Because π is purely irrational.
- Did you hear about the guy who tried to make an ocean of soda? It was pure Fantasea
- When is a dog not a dog? When its pure bread.
- When is a dog not a dog? When it is pure bread.
Told to me by a friend. - What is a baker's favorite type of dog? Pure Bread Dough-bermann.
- Everyone's got a little bit of racism in them. Not me tho, I'm pure.
- how to lose 75 kilos of pure fat ? Divorce
- How do bakers share their professional secrets? Purely on the knead to know basis.
- My chem exam just came back today I thought I did well. It was 24K golden. Pure "Au"ful.
- A pumpkin spice latte is like pure sodium hydroxide. They're both extremely basic.
- What do they called a mix of two pure breed dogs in Mexico? Mestizo.
- Your girfrieind is like square root of -100... A pure 10 but bothing whitout i in it.
Cheeky Purely Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about purely you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean directly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make purely pranks.
I have a male to female trans friend who just finished her gender reassignment surgery.
I asked how she felt afterwards and she said...
"I feel hole inside!"
(This joke is not meant to be transphobic, it exists purely for the pun. Trans rights!)
I just made this one up so cut me some slack...
A man and his wife are at the beach and she catches him staring at a beautiful woman. Predictably she gets mad at him.
Man: Honey, you know I only have eyes for you!
Wife: Then why are you ogling that woman over there?
Man: My dear, I assure you it doesn't mean anything. It is purely for educational purposes.
Wife: What do you mean?
Man: I've always wanted to study a broad!
(I'm sorry)
I proposed my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes!
For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.
It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.
Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.
As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.
As we walked away I asked, "Why did *they* tell us to kiss and not the priest?"
My wife answered,
"In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"
Did you hear about the albino clairvoyant master hypnotist from San Francisco?
He was a super pallid Cali mystic, expert at hypnosis.
(Today I had wanted to tell someone the Gandhi joke I read on here the other day, but I couldn't remember it so I made this up and thought I may as well share it even though it's purely derivative.)
The CEO of Coca-Cola calls Vladimir Putin.
Mr Putin! I noticed you've changed the Russian anthem. Do you have any plans to change the colors of your flag as well and return to the previous purely red flag? If you'd put a Coca-Cola logo in the corner, we'd solve all your financial troubles for the next five years.
Putin puts the CEO on hold while he discusses with his generals. Psst, when does our contract with Aquafresh end?
After years of practice I can finally tell what time it is based purely on the sun's location in the sky.
Right now it is daytime.
My body is a temple.
My body is a temple. I care about it three to five times a year purely out of guilt.
People are enjoying a drive in movie...
When all of a sudden a loud voice comes in over the intercom.
To the man who's taken my wife, I know you are here, I'll be coming round with my baseball bat until I find you.
27 Cars left right then and there.
Sorry if repost, purely coincidental.
Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin were booked to perform at a benefit.
Naturally since they were both silent performers, their acts relied purely on physical humor. The night of the performance they were backstage comparing notes and discovered they had planned to do almost the same bits: man stuck in box; man pulling rope; man walking against the wind; etc.
I guess it just goes to show, great mimes think alike.
I heard that the president was poisoned, then cured.
But the information is purely antidotal.
Don't you hate the purely fashionable pockets that don't open to hold anything?
What a complete stitch-up.
Why did the mathmatition call his girlfriend the square root of -100?
because she's clearly a 10, but purely imaginary.
