Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Puppy Jokes
It's all in the position.
A father and son were standing in the front yard one day and the son notices two dogs having s**.... He asks "dad what they are doing?" The father replies "they are making puppies." A few nights later the son walks in on his mother and father having s**... and asks " dad what are y'all doing?" The father says "we're making babies." The son quickly replies " well turn her over, I want a puppy!"
I got a puppy for my daughter...
Good swap if you ask me.
I got a puppy for my daughter and a fur coat for my wife...
...best two trades I ever made.
3 mothers-to-be in antenatal class...
The first one says; "I think I'm having a boy because my husband was on top when we conceived" The woman next to her replies "I think I'm having a daughter because I was on top" The woman at the end starts panicking and says "I think I'm having a puppy"
What do you call a dog in the library?
A hush puppy.
Little Timmy and his father are walking in the park
Little Timmy and his father are walking in the park. Timmy sees two dogs h**..., and says, "Dad, what are they doing?" His father looks and says, "Oh, they're making a puppy."
Later that night, Timmy walks into his parents' room and sees mom and dad going at it, and says "Dad, what are you doing??" His Dad says, "Oh, we're making you a baby brother." Timmy says, "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy"
I got a purebred Beagle puppy for my wife
I thought it was an awesome trade.
I would rather have a puppy!!
A little boy and his dad are walking down the street when they see two dogs having s**.... The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father says, "Making a puppy. "
So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having s**.... The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "Making a baby."
The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead ! "
What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?
A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining.
Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.
A young boy and his father are walking through a park when they see two dogs doing the dirty.
Boy: "Daddy, what are they doing?"
Dad: "Oh...uh...they're just making a puppy."
Later that night daddy and mommy put the boy to sleep and go off to their bedroom. After a couple glasses of wine they get at it. Suddenly the door opens and their son is standing at the foot of the bed.
Boy: "Daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"
Dad: "Oh...We're just making a baby."
Boy: "Well turn mommy over because I want a puppy."
My autistic 7 year-old battling cancer told me this joke while adopting a shelter puppy
You can explore puppy daddy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean puppy pet dad jokes. There are also puppy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions.
I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy
s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
Tomorrow I am going to open the time capsule I buried as a kid.
I can't wait to see how big my puppy got
I bought my son a puppy...
I bought my son a puppy for his birthday but I accidentally ran him over as I was backing out my driveway. At least I still have the puppy
People love animals. There's movies where people get blown up and shot. But you kill one puppy...
They ask you to leave the theatre!
I bought my wife a new puppy for Valentine's Day! She's such a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I forgot my wife is allergic to dogs... so I have to find her a new home. Can anybody help me out?
She's 5'5", 125lbs, and blonde. Free to good home.
My neighbor, an elderly p**..., adopted a puppy
and asked me if I could help train it.
I told her "No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."
Today, I'm going to open up the time capsule I made when I was a kid...
I can't wait to see how big my puppy is now!!!!
If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child...
they could call it Slush Puppy :)
I got a puppy for my girlfriend.
It was the best trade ever!
Finally bought a puppy for the wife and I, but it turns out my wife's allergic to dogs, so we had to get rid of her.
The dog and I live happily together now.
My wife slapped me when I told her I'm buying her a puppy for Christmas.
I thought she'd be excited to hear that she's getting a little husky...
I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas...
FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy.
My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas...
I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".
People ask how I'm so prepared for Christmas
It's easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since August, my girlfriend is going to love her new puppy
On her deathbed my wife said, "Sweety, I will see you in Heaven."
Since then I have kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.!
If I had a dollar for every time I was distracted...
I wish I had a puppy
I just bought a Dalmatian puppy...
And I've found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen...
It doesn't wash off...
What does a myopic gynaecologist have in common with a puppy?
A wet nose.
I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...
Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.
A small boy walks in on his parents having s**......
...he asks his parents what are they doing:
"We're making your sister "
"Do her d**..., i want a puppy!"
When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days...
I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
A good book is like a puppy
Easy to pick up, hard to put down
If I had a puppy I'd name it comma.
Why? Because of its small pause.
My girlfriend said she wanted a puppy for her birthday so I got her one.
The next day she saw me loading it into the back of my car and said, "Hey. Where are you going?"
I said, "I'm sending him back."
"Sending him back!" she yelled. "Why?"
I said, "It's not your birthday any more."
At Christmas we all deserve to be happy, so I got a puppy for my wife...
... it was a good trade
Blonde Joke
Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby's gender came up.
Brunette: My baby's going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top.
Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom.
Blonde (bursting into tears): "My baby's going to be a puppy."
Two boys are staying at grandmas doing nightly prayers
Two boys are staying at grandmas doing nightly prayers. The first boy quietly asks God for a puppy, the second boy shouts "PLEASE LORD LET ME HAVE A NEW BIKE". The first boy says to the other boy "you don't need to yell I'm sure God can hear you", the second boy says "I know he can but grandma needs to".
My new puppy just bit the neighbors kid so we had to have it killed
He was going to tell his parents
I get to open the time capsule I buried as a child tomorrow!
I can't wait to see how big my puppy has gotten!
A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years.
To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids
Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.
What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist have in common with a puppy?
A wet nose
A fortune teller told me that, in 12 years time, I'd suffer terrible heartbreak.
So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.
My kids want a puppy for Christmas
I mean, I normally do a ham, but they seem pretty adamant so we will see how it goes!
I really hate autocorrect
My girlfriend is mad at me because she thinks I want to kick her puppy
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!
Unless it's a repressed memory, I made this puppy up myself...
A woman walked into Dr Smith's office and introduced herself.
Hi, I'm Dr Yvette Tan, I've just become an accredited psychiatrist and would love to work as part of your medical practice .
Despite some misgivings, Dr Tan assured him she'd be needed eventually, and once he'd checked all her papers, he set her up in an empty office down the hall.
The next morning a man came in to see him and yelled out Doctor! I feel like I'm a dog!
Ah yes, the doctor replies, I think you'll need to see Yvette
Today, a psychic told me I'd witness an unbelievable pain in 12 years.
To cheer myself up, I bought a puppy!
A fortune teller told me I'd suffer a tragic heartbreaking loss in 12 years
So to cheer myself up I got a puppy
Recently, a fortune teller told me that in about 12 years I would suffer terrible heartbreak.
So, to cheer myself up, I went and bought a puppy.
Good book is like a good puppy
A good book is like a good puppy, easy to pick up but hard to put down
What's the difference between the people who complain about the jokes here and a puppy?
Eventually, the puppy will grow up and not whine as much.
"Daddy, what are you doing?"
A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having s**.... The little boy asks his father, Daddy, what are they doing? The father says, Making a puppy. So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having s**.... The little boy says, Daddy, what are you doing?
The father replies, Making a baby. The little boy says, Can you turn mommy over? I'd rather have a puppy.
A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.
I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!
I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally killed him as I backed my car out of the drive.
I guess, I'll have to look after the puppy myself now.
I find it creepy when my wife gives me those sad puppy dog eyes
It makes me wonder what she did the rest of the dog.
I saw a fortune teller today
She told me that is 12 years my best friend will die. It made me really depressed so I went and bought a puppy to cheer myself up.
I was getting the Xmas decorations down from the attic when i found a present i forgot to give last year.....
Shame, as the kids would have loved that puppy.
Why was it so hard for the Malamute puppy to find clothes in his size?
Because he was a little Husky.
I took my son to the fair on the weekend…
…and we we're having a great time. At least we were until I let him go in to see the palm reader. When he came out he was sad and when I asked what happened, he said She told me that in 15 years I would have one of the worst days of my life after a loss.
Being the great dad I am, on the way home we stopped and rescued a puppy that he's been begging me for, for years. Thanks to me, he'll never think about that palm reader again.
My kids said they wanted a puppy for Christmas
I'd have opted for ham myself, but anything for the kids I guess.
Did you hear that the televangelist got himself a puppy?
He taught it how to beg and heal.
The fortune teller told me I'd lose one of my closest friends in 13-14 years.
To cope with this news, I bought a puppy.
What's the best type of dog to bring to a library?
A hush puppy
