Puppy Day Jokes
28 puppy day jokes and hilarious puppy day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about puppy day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Puppy Day Short Jokes
Short puppy day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The puppy day humour may include short puppy jokes also.
- When christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
- I just adopted two puppies the other day. I love them so much but they're so distracting whenever I try to watch a movie. They keep pressing paws.
- Do you know a good veterinarian? Got asked this by a friend the other day.
Hey, do you know a good veterinarian?
'cause these puppies are SICK.
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Puppy Day One Liners
Which puppy day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with puppy day? I can suggest the ones about dog birthday and kids dog.
- I'm getting a new puppy in a few days. Gonna name him after the Roman God Stimulus.
Puppy Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about puppy day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wedding day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make puppy day pranks.
This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
I bought my wife a new puppy for Valentine's Day! She's such a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I forgot my wife is allergic to dogs... so I have to find her a new home. Can anybody help me out?
She's 5'5", 125lbs, and blonde. Free to good home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I would rather have a puppy!!
A little boy and his dad are walking down the street when they see two dogs having s**.... The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father says, "Making a puppy. "
So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having s**.... The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "Making a baby."
The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead ! "
My girlfriend said she wanted a puppy for her birthday so I got her one.
The next day she saw me loading it into the back of my car and said, "Hey. Where are you going?"
I said, "I'm sending him back."
"Sending him back!" she yelled. "Why?"
I said, "It's not your birthday any more."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's all in the position.
A father and son were standing in the front yard one day and the son notices two dogs having s**.... He asks "dad what they are doing?" The father replies "they are making puppies." A few nights later the son walks in on his mother and father having s**... and asks " dad what are y'all doing?" The father says "we're making babies." The son quickly replies " well turn her over, I want a puppy!"
I took my son to the fair on the weekend…
…and we we're having a great time. At least we were until I let him go in to see the palm reader. When he came out he was sad and when I asked what happened, he said She told me that in 15 years I would have one of the worst days of my life after a loss.
Being the great dad I am, on the way home we stopped and rescued a puppy that he's been begging me for, for years. Thanks to me, he'll never think about that palm reader again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
Mans best friend
I was having troubles with my girlfriend.
We were always arguing, usually about my behaviour or my friends circle; mostly about nothing in my eyes.
One day she said why don't we get a dog. Great idea! We got a puppy and we went for a long drive into the country side.
When we got there, I opened the trunk to let them both out. Can you guess which one was pleased to see me?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dog gave birth to a very rude little puppy.
He's been a son of a b**... since the day he was born.
I went to the cardiologist yesterday
He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
On the first day of school,
.. the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit… She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy...........
"It's a puppy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, a father and his son are walking home (not sure if this is a repost)
They see two dogs on the side of the road having s**.... The son looks to his father and asks What are they doing? The father wanted to be honest with his son, so he said They're making a puppy.
That night, the boy opened the door to his parents room to find them having s**.... The boy asks Dad, what are you doing? The father wanted to be honest with his son, so he said We're making a baby.
The son thought for a minute and then looked to his father and said, No, flip Mom over. I want a puppy!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The King and Queen get a Puppy
After the whole donkey episode, the King and Queen decide to stick to dogs, and get a dachshund. Barely a month old, the puppy was given to the couple after being abandoned by its mother, the only one of the litter to survive.
Night after night, the court physicians and veterinarians watched the dog, the Queen herself often feeding the blind, half-starved animal with an eye dropper.
One morning, after worrying all night, the King and Queen shed tears of joy when the little animal struggled out of his bed and took his first steps.
The next day's headline:
"Royal w**... Stands Up for First Time; King and Queen Jubilant but Tired"
SCOTCH ??
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy...
"It's a puppy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Curious Little Boy
A little boy is at the park with his mother and father. While walking around, he sees 2 dogs, one being mounted and other other h**... furiously. "What are they doing"? The little boy ask his parents. The father thinking quickly says "Making a puppy" and the boy accepts this answer and they are on there way. Later that night, as the boy lies in bed, he gets up to go ask his parents for a glass of water. He walks in to see his day laying on top of his mother, face to face, h**... furiously." Daddy, what are you doing to mommy" The dad, extremely embarrassed, saying the first thing that pops into his brain "We're making a baby". The boy looks at his parents one more time before he responds "Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy"
Building a doghouse
One day, a blonde walks by little Johnny's house. Johnny is building a new doghouse for his puppy on the front lawn. The blonde walks up to Johnny and says: "That's a nice doghouse you're building! But what is that pile of nails doing behind you?"
"Oh, those are nails which have the pointy bit on the top side, and the head on the bottom. But I only need nails with the head on top, and the point on the bottom!", Johnny replies.
"Why are you throwing those away? That's such a waste!", says the blonde. "Just use those nails for the ceiling!"
Maybe it's scotch?
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit…She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"
There once was a women who had a hundred children..
There once was a woman who had a hundred children. She named each of them after numbers, in the order they were born. All of them died except for Ninety.
Ninety went off to have some children of her own. Her kids were very kind, and one day they found an injured dog. They took the dog home but never told their mother, fearing she would kick the dog out. In fact, they never told anyone about the dog. To further keep the puppy secret from the world, they named the dog This, so that its name could be used in conversation without arousing suspicion.
One day the dog ran away, and they never saw This again. But nobody else knew about This. Nobody knew that a dog named This had even existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having s**......
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having s**.... The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy."
"OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further.
The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having s**.... The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?"
Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby."
His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Man and His Son...and Puppies
A man and his young son are walking together in a park, and they stumble upon two dogs having s**.... The son asks, "Daddy, Daddy! What are those dogs doing?" to which the man replies, "Son, those dogs are making puppies." His son seems to understand.
One day, a few weeks later, the child walks in on his parents having s**.... Of course, he asks, "Daddy! What are you doing?" The man, blushing, responds, "Well, son........we're making babies."
The child then says, "Flip her over! I want puppies!!"
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having s**....
The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy."
"OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further.
The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having s**....
The father jumps up and quickly covers himself.
Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table.
His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?"
Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby."
His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
