The Best 46 Puppies Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Puppies jokes. There are some puppies pup jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these puppies pets puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Puppies Jokes and Puns

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead...

Were sitting in the waiting room at the OB-GYN. Each of them were pregnant and having a chat.
"I'm going to have a boy cause I was on top" the brunette said. "Ah well then I'm going to have a girl cause I was on bottom" the redhead replied. The blonde thought for a moment, then started to cry. The other two looked at her concerned and the brunette asked "What's wrong honey?" Then the blonde replied through her sobs "I'm going to have puppies!"

So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.

They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....

"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.

"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"

So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.

"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.

"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."

It's all in the position.

A father and son were standing in the front yard one day and the son notices two dogs having sex. He asks "dad what they are doing?" The father replies "they are making puppies." A few nights later the son walks in on his mother and father having sex and asks " dad what are y'all doing?" The father says "we're making babies." The son quickly replies " well turn her over, I want a puppy!"

Puppies joke, It's all in the position.

A dog gave birth to puppies on the side of the road...

She was cited for littering.

Michael Vick

Q. Why does Michael Vick never relapse to killing puppies?

A. Because he's doing just fine killing the birds.


Do you know a good veterinarian?

Got asked this by a friend the other day.

Hey, do you know a good veterinarian?

'cause these puppies are SICK.

A brunette and redhead and a blonde are at the OBGYN

The brunette says she knows she is going to have a boy because her husband was on top. The redhead says she is is going to have a girl, because she was on top. The blonde says: "Oh my God. I'm going to have puppies!"

Puppies joke, A brunette and redhead and a blonde are at the OBGYN

What do you call a litter of puppies who've been out in the snow?

Slush Puppies

This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.

One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."

What do you call baby sled dogs?

Mush puppies

3 bags.

A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman are all being chased by soldiers, they all run into a Barn and hide in big burlap sacks. The soldier walk in and hunt for them, they poke the first bag and the Scotsman says "Meow!" so they pass it off as a bag of kittens. They poke the second pack and the Englishman says "Woof!" so they pass it off as a bag of puppies. They poke the third bag and the Irishman says "Potatoes!"

You can explore puppies terrier reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean puppies rottweiler dad jokes. There are also puppies puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

hush puppies

A blonde, a red head and a brunette are at the OB-GYN...

..the read head says to the brunette, "I'm having a boy because he was on top.", The brunette says, "I'm having a girl, because I was on top." They both turn to the blonde and ask her, "What are you having?" The blond suddenly bursts into tears. "Oh, honey." they say, "What's the matter?" The blonde looks at them and says, "I'm having puppies!"

Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the sex of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."

The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."

Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.

"I'm going to have puppies!"

sex ed

One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having sex. He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having sex. When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor and find out that they are pregnant so they want to find out the sex of the baby. The brunette says, well I was on the bottom so I'm having a boy. The redhead says I was on top so I'm having a girl.

The Blonde starts crying and says, well I guess I'm having puppies?!

Puppies joke, A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all pregnant, are in the waiting room for the OB/GYN....

The brunette says "I was on top, so I'm gonna have a boy."

The redhead says "I was on the bottom, so I'm gonna have a girl."

The blonde bursts into tears and says, "I'm gonna have puppies!"

Three women went to see the OB/GYN

The Brunette came out and said, "We had sex in the missionary position, and we're going to have a boy!"

The Redhead came out and said, "We had sex in the cowgirl position, and we're having a girl!"

The Blonde started sobbing as she stood to go in. Between sobs, she said, "Oh no! We're having puppies!"

There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation...

except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve.


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.

The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex

Confused he asks his parents what they're doing. Without missing a beat his dad tells him he's making him a little sister and he has to go play in the back yard.

The boy wanders outside and see's the neighbours dogs having sex. He asks the neighbour what they're doing and the neighbour explains they're making puppies.

The little boy runs back in and bursts into his parents room yelling DAD! Flip her over I'd rather have a puppy!

Why did the dog who just gave birth to seven puppies in the vacant lot get a ticket from the police officer?

She was charged with littering.

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman..

..are in the trenches surrounded by the enemy with no way of escaping The Englishman sees three sacks and says right boys follow my lead.
They each get in a sack and as the enemy approaches they poke the bag with their bayonetted.

"Meow meow" says the Englishman.
"Ah it's just some kittens, leave them be were not that cruel. "

They poke the Scotsman.
"Woof woof"
"Ah just puppies leave them be"

Then they poke the Irishman
"Potatoes!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head

Are all sitting in the waiting area of the ob/gyn. The brunette says, "I heard if he's on top you're going to have a boy." The red head says, "well I heard if she's on top you're going to have a girl."

The blonde bursts into tears. The other two rush to her asking what's wrong.

Through tears and sobs she says, "I'm going to have puppies".

Jokes are like puppies.

If you have to pull them apart to see how they work, they're not as fun.

Dads are like puppies

Mom can always get a new one, but he'll never be like the one that ran away.

A man and his young son are walking through a park

where they see two dogs having sex. The son asks, "What are they doing?" The man says with some embarrassment, "Those dogs are making puppies."

The next week the son enters his parents room while they are having sex. The son says, "Dad, what are you doing to mom?" He embarrassingly responds, "We're making babies." The son replies, "Flip her over, I want puppies instead."

A lady just came up to me in the shopping centre and asked me to take apart in a survey....

Q1 - What grooming products do you use...... I don't think .. Facebook, Haribo and Puppies were the answers she was after..

My Chinese neighbor just had two puppies

He named them Sweet and Sour

A man and his son are walking through the park NSFW

They see two dogs having sex. "What are they doing?" asked the kid. Not wanting to lie the father says "They are making puppies." Later that night the son walks into the bedroom where his parents are having sex. The son asks "what are you doing?". Not wanting to lie the dad says "making babies." The sons says "flip her over I want a puppy."

How many puppies and babies does it take to paint a room?

All depends on the speed and angle of the throw.

I love puppies...

But I could never eat a whole one.

I have a litter of Pomeranian puppies specifically nurtured to look like a French loaf, 500$ per pupper

Please don't ask me to go lower on the price, they are *pure bread*

Bought a pet rock. It looked lonely so I bought another. I dunno how, but they started breeding. Months later there was gravel and stones everywhere. I couldn't take it anymore and had enough.

Threw it all in a canvas sack, weighed it down with a couple of puppies, and tossed it in the river.

What do DJs call their puppies?

Subwoofers

Three pregnant women: a brunette, a redhead and a blonde are sitting in a bar.

The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."

The redhead asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I conceived, so I will have a baby boy".

The redhead said, "If the logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was at the bottom when I concieved.

The blonde starts crying, orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

Three blonde women are talking about their pregnancies

The first one says: "Whenever we have sex, my husband is always on top. So that means I'm having a baby boy."

The second one says: "That means I'm having a baby girl because I'm always the one on top."

Suddenly the third blonde starts crying hysterically and exclaims: "I'm having puppies!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all sitting in the waiting room waiting to see their OB/GYN.

The brunette turns to the group and says, I'm pregnant and I'm having a boy . The redhead asked her how she knows and the brunette tells her, I was on top when we conceived .

The redhead then says, well in that case I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom .

The blonde jumps up and starts screaming, Oh God, I'm going to have puppies!

Daily puns until I get a relationship #1

My dog recently gave birth to a litter of puppies, and one of them is always fighting his siblings. He's such a son of a bitch

I just adopted two puppies the other day. I love them so much but they're so distracting whenever I try to watch a movie.

They keep pressing paws.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!

Having puppies

**Three dogs are at the vet's. Talking dog talk.**

Rover, "Why are you guys here?"

Sparky, "I been peeing all over the house. I'm going to get my nuts cut off." Ruff.

Barky, "I growl at everything. I'm going to get my nuts cut off. Ruff.

How about you Rover?"

Rover, "Well, my mistress was getting out of the shower yesterday, I love her *sooo* much. *Ah-Rooo*. Seeing her naked, bent over drying her foot, well, I jumped on. "

The other two - "So you're getting you nuts cut off too?"

Rover, "Hell no! I'm getting my nails trimmed."

3 pregnant ladies in a coffee shop

So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are sitting in a coffee shop talking about their pregnancies.

The brunette says to the other 2 that I heard if you have sex on top, your more likely to have a boy

The redhead say oh that must mean I'm likely to have a girl

There was a pause and then the blonde say Uh Oh imma be having puppies!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were in a doctors office and they were all pregnant..

The brunette says, " I know I'm having a boy because I was on the bottom."
The redhead says "Then I must be having a girl because I was on the top!"
The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably and the two other girls start comforting her asking what's wrong...
The blonde looks at them through her teary eyes and exclaims "I'm having puppies!!"

The Three Simple Things in This World That Give Me The Most Joy In This Life Are…

Eating Puppies and Not Using Commas Appropriately.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the puppies poodles jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working puppies fido piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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