Pupil Eye Jokes
68 pupil eye jokes and hilarious pupil eye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pupil eye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pupil Eye Short Jokes
Short pupil eye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pupil eye humour may include short pupils jokes also.
- I just came back from the eye doctor, he says I have kindergarden disease. I asked her what that meant, she said that means I have really small pupils.
- You guys hear about the insecure cross-eyed teacher?? Apparently he couldn't control his pupils
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who got fired? She couldn't keep her pupils straight
- Did you hear about the teacher who was always cross eyed? She struggled to control her pupils.
- There was a one eyed teacher at my school He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? She couldn't control her pupils.
- I had a terrible cross-eyed teacher in primary schoool She could never keep her pupils under control.
- Have you heard about the cross-eyed teacher? He has a lot of trouble controlling his pupils.
- Hear about the teacher with two lazy eyes? Didn't last more then a day, couldn't control his pupils.
- I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils.....
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Pupil Eye One Liners
Which pupil eye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pupil eye? I can suggest the ones about teacher pupil and private eye.
- Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
- There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired Because she couldnt control her pupils.
- Why can't people with a lazy eye be teachers? They can't control their pupils!
- Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She didn't have control of her pupils
- Why was the lazy-eyed man a horrible teacher? Because he couldn't control his pupils.
- The cross-eyed teacher at school got fired today. He couldn't control his pupils.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn't control her pupils.
- Why did the one eyed headmaster close down his school.... Because he only had one pupil
- The crossed eyed teacher... ...had trouble controling his pupils.
- Why was the cross-eyed teacher fired? Because they couldn't control their pupils.
- Did you hear about the cyclopic tutor? He had only one eye, but two pupils!
- Why did the lazy eyed teacher get fired? because he couldn't keep his pupils in check
- A cross-eyed teacher Got fired because he couldn't control his pupils
- Q: What did the cross-eyed teacher say?
A: I can't control my pupils! - Why was the teacher cross-eyed? She couldn't control her pupils
Pupil Eye Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pupil eye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eye related jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pupil eye pranks.
Mr. Smith, the biology instructor at a Highschool, said during class, “Miss Jones, would you please name the o**... of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.”
Miss Jones gasped, then said, “Mr. Smith, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.” With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Smith called on Miss Brown and asked the same question. Miss Brown, replied, “The pupil of the eye, in dim light.”
“Correct,” said Mr. Smith. “And now, Miss Jones, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.
A professor gives his psychology class a pop quiz. . .
One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy may expand up to ten times under certain circumstances?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, who heard the question, stammers with some embarrassment: "Professor, I'd rather not answer that question." The professor says, "That's all right, Miss Callahan, you don't need to answer it. Is there anyone present who can answer it?" He notes an interested face in the back of the classroom. "Mr. Hawkins!" Hawkins says, "Yes, Professor, it is the pupil of the eye that may expand to ten times." The professor says, "That is correct, Mr. Hawkins." Then he turns to Miss Callahan. He says, "Young lady, two things are obvious from your reaction to this question. One, you haven't studied this week's assignment; and Two, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment to you."
A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
In honor of The Challenger disaster: proof that I have no soul.
How do we know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Her head and shoulders washed up on the shore.
It was said that Christa's pupils were hit the hardest... by the instrument panel.
As she left for work that day she said to her husband "you feed the dog, i'll feed the fish."
How do you know her eyes were blue?
One blew one way the other blew another way.
Christa used to teach Social Studies ...now she's History
What does NASA stand for? Need another seven astronauts.
Did you hear about the teacher who had eye problems?
She couldn't control her pupils.
Can a crossed-eyed teacher...
control her pupils?
Why was the teacher with no eyes unsuccesfull?
He had no pupils.
My c**...-eyed professor had a really bad day today.
His pupils got way out of line.
It made him so angry that he couldn't see straight.
In the eye, what sits in front of the Lens, but behind the Iris?
The Pupil, that's right, I didn't make a joke, bet you didn't see that one coming.
Biology Lesson
Dr Adams is holding forth to his college students on biology and anatomy. "Miss Baker, can you tell me which part of the human body can expand by up to 10 times, and under what conditions?"
Miss Baker blushes furiously, and says, "That is not an appropriate question to ask a lady, and I will report you to the Dean."
Dr Adams just nods and says, "Miss Conrad, same question."
Miss Conrad stands and says, "The pupil of the eye, under dim light."
Dr Adams nods again and says "Correct, full marks for Miss Conrad." Then he turns and says, "Miss Baker, I can tell you three things. First, you have not studied. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, you are going to suffer a grave disappointment."
Why did the teacher have mirrors in her glasses?
So she could keep an eye on her pupils
What body part makes the best student?
The eye, because it's a good pupil!
Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye.
In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.
Eye
Sometimes when we have an event I have to give out clothes to our pupils,but no matter how match the audience pays attention to it,their special clothes cant be seen,not with the n**... eye anyways
What do you call a student who's studying to become an eye doctor?
A pupil.
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job?
She couldn't control her pupils.
Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary
"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"
Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Rogers.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions." said Susan.
"That is correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you, Firstly, You have not studied your lesson.
Secondly, You have a dirty mind. And Third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday."
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He got fired because he couldn't control his pupils
Sensory Perception....
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of sweets and said, Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these.
The pupils easily identified the sweets flavoured of apple, lemon, strawberry and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored, all of the kids were stumped.
I'll give you a little hint, said the teacher.
It's something your Mum probably calls your Dad all the time.
Instantly, Little Robbie, gagged and spat his onto the floor and shouted, Quick! Spit'em out! They're a**... flavoured!
My teacher
My teacher had a lazy eye, she couldn't control her pupils.
My dad told me this one so i thought i might share
In a zen monastery far inside China, a conflicted discipule has his mind shrouded by a doubt that he's sure his master, Zhi, knows the answer.
He finds him, and asks:
– "Master Zhi, why does everybody say that we, chinese people, all look alike?"
He pauses for a second, looks at the pupil's eyes and answers:
– "I'm not Master Zhi"
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
An eye-rolling joke
Dad: You know who all I saw today?
Daughter: Who?
Dad: Everybody I looked at
Daughter: Huh?!
Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **
Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again
Dad: Why? Is it too "cornea" for you? XD
Daughter: I give up, lol.
Dad: I'm still the master, you're still the "pupil" XD
A teacher teaches class on drug a**...
He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: What are these?
As nobody answers, he says: The big circle is your eye pupil, when you're clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you're high! If the police see this, they put you in jail…
Then he proceeds to draw a small circle and a big circle and asks: What are these? . Nobody answers…
He points to the small circle and says: This is your a**..., before you go to jail….
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
That's disgusting...
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."
The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye."
"Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct."
She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a Big disappointment."