The Best 63 Puns Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Puns jokes. There are some puns groaner jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these puns humour puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Puns Jokes and Puns
A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh
No pun in ten did.
A man submits 10 puns to a contest, hoping to win...
but no pun-in-ten-did.
Hear are sum morre punny science jokes
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN
Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
Because they take everything literally.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...
Because they always take things literally.
I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
There was a man who loved puns.
There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in 10 did.
Ugh. Sausage puns.
They're the wurst.
Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?
If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.
I like my puns like I like my sausages...
the wurst ones are the best.
You can explore puns sarcasm reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean puns humor dad jokes. There are also puns puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I seemed to have lost all my vegetable puns
I hope they turnip somewhere
My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry
No pun in ten did.
What do you call a mountain of puns?
Mount Cleverest
From my nine year old...
He walked up to me tore a piece of paper and walked away, I look at the paper it says "my puns" I ask what that was about, he says " I know... My puns are tear-able"... Thats my boy
If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?
Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"
Not all math puns are bad
Just sum
Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.
Well, that and sex.
My friend was harassing me with bird puns
But toucan play at that game.
I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns.
Comet me bro.
My girlfriend left me....
she said she was sick of my tree puns
what a beech
My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...
But toucan play at that game
My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.
Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.
In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision...
I can't wait to see them all.
I sent 10 puns to the world best pun contest...
...hoping at least one of them would win.
Well,no pun in-ten-did.
What I want written on my tombstone:
"Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns
but I soon realised toucan play at that game
Math Puns
The first sine of madness.
I honestly cannot deal with puns.
But I can with a deck of cards.
I spent all day working on a bunch of puns about limousine drivers.
But I still have nothing to chauffeur it.
The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision
I can just see it now.
What should you do if someone hates on your puns?
Punish them.
Whistle Puns
One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!
Puns about Norse gods...
are Loki the best.
I gave my brother ten puns to make him laugh.
But they couldn't make him laugh, no pun in ten did.
So I sent my friend 10 puns hoping that at least one of them would get a laugh out of him.
No pun in ten did.
I've submitted ten puns today trying to make the front page
no pun in ten did...
Puns about communism aren't funny
Unless everyone gets them
A man enters a pun contest in a local paper...
He loses. So the next year, he enters 2 puns, doubling his chances. He still loses. So the third year, determined to win, he enters 10 puns. He waits, hoping at least one of his puns will win, but no pun in 10 did.
I submitted ten puns into a pun contest, wanna know how many won?
No pun in ten did
It's almost impossible to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.
Since they always take things literally.
My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them.
I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
I made a program to generate puns, but I stored them in the wrong type of variable
No pun int. Ended
Mom got a sex change operation
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long?
A "Pi"-thon.
(brought to you by the bad puns initiative)
My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.
It finally Taurus apart.
Why don't kleptomaniacs like puns?
Because there are always taking things... literally.
You know why you can't tell puns to a kleptomaniac?
Because they take everything literally.
English puns make me numb.
But Math puns make me number.
While most puns make me numb...
Math puns make me number
My boyfriend never gets my fruit puns
Perhaps I should let this mango.
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...
'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
Well my parents are finally sick of all my electronics puns.
Now I'm grounded.
I've posted 9 puns here in this sub but none of them got upvoted. If this one doesn't either, then...
...no pun in ten did
There was a pun competition going on in the local community.
I decided I might have a go at it since I am pretty good with puns. The rules were simple: we all had to tell 10 puns. I got on stage and gave it my best shot to wow the judges. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
I just got a joke book whose entire gimmick is the fact that you can rip the pages out and hand it to people.
Its a book of tear-able puns.
I don't know why I love bad puns so much.
It's just how eye roll.
What do you call reusing someone else's dad joke?
Puns of steal.
Why are calendar puns so bad?
Because they are always so week and dated
Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel....
........number
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the puns punny jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working puns facetious piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.