Puns Jokes
147 puns jokes and hilarious puns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about puns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Puns Short Jokes
Short puns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The puns humour may include short punchline jokes also.
- I've posted 9 puns here in this sub but none of them got upvoted. If this one doesn't either, then... ...no pun in ten did
- I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes. Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
- My wife says if I don't stop making puns about Russia, she's going to hit me. If that's the way it's going to be, then Soviet.
- The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision I can just see it now.
- Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night. Who is the australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?
Rihanna, mate. - In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision... I can't wait to see them all.
- My friend keeps trying to annoy me by using bird puns But I soon realised that toucan play at that game.
- A pun loving old man forgot to order his tombstone before he passed away This was a grave mistake
- So, I just tried a new drinking game. I put in the bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed. - My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh. Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.
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Puns One Liners
Which puns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with puns? I can suggest the ones about poking fun and joking.
- Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
- Puns make me numb Mathematical puns makes me number
- A pun walks in and kills 10 people... Pun in, ten dead.
- Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 star at best.
- Tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork… Think I nailed it!
- It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... Because they always take things literally.
- Not all math puns are bad Just sum
- A pun walks into a room and kills ten people Pun in, ten dead
- If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun.. I'd have toucans.
- English puns make me numb. But Math puns make me number.
- What I want written on my tombstone: "Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"
- Got dumped because she said I was obsessed with boat puns Canoe believe that?
- I like my puns like I like my sausage... the wurst ones are the best.
- Why don't Kleptomaniacs understand puns? They always take things literally
- Well my parents are finally sick of all my electronics puns. Now I'm grounded.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Puns Jokes
What funny jokes about puns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean humor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make puns pranks.
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers!
What do you and your shower have in common? You both get wet when I turn you on.
Abortion - it really brings out the child in you.
Anyone got any similar puns?
Also:
- 9/11 jokes are just plane rude.
So there's this humor contest...
and a guy enters ten puns hoping to win with at least one. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh
No pun in ten did.
A man submits 10 puns to a contest, hoping to win...
but no pun-in-ten-did.
I've been working on my favorite puns...
I took ten of the best puns I knew and entered them into a local radio contest, hoping that one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Bad puns are the best puns
How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?
He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.
Hear are sum morre punny science jokes
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN
My friend told me to stop making Burger King puns
I said "fine! Have it your way!"
Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
Because they take everything literally.
Did you hear? broadway is making a theatrical production on puns!
It's going to be a *huge* play on words!
I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A man sends ten puns to a friend in an effort to make him laugh.
Alas, no pun in ten did.
I entered 10 puns into a contest last week. Do you know how many won?
No pun in ten did.
There was a man who loved puns.
There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
People always asked me why I made puns.
I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder.
Symphony of puns
i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music...
Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble!
I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in 10 did.
What do you call a fellow who is over 21 and makes bad puns?
A groan man.
Ugh. Sausage puns.
They're the wurst.
Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?
If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.
I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but....
the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.
I seemed to have lost all my vegetable puns
I hope they turnip somewhere
7 days without puns makes one weak.
My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest
I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did
A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry
No pun in ten did.
Why are steak puns so rare?
Because they are never well done.
What do you call a mountain of puns?
Mount Cleverest
The Pun Competition
A man enters a pun competition in his local newspaper. They will accept more than one entry if sent in separately, so the man writes out 10 puns and mails them off. A week later he opens the newspaper to see if any of his puns won. Unfortunately *no pun in ten did*.
And the King of puns said
It's going to be another reigny day
From my nine year old...
He walked up to me tore a piece of paper and walked away, I look at the paper it says "my puns" I ask what that was about, he says " I know... My puns are tear-able"... Thats my boy
I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win.
But, no pun in ten did.
If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?
Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"
Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.
Well, that and s**....
My friend was harassing me with bird puns
But toucan play at that game.
I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns.
Comet me bro.
My girlfriend left me....
she said she was sick of my tree puns
what a beech
I like telling science puns...
Just to see the reaction...
I gave my friend 10 puns, hoping at least some would make him laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...
But toucan play at that game
i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...
i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.
Pun competition
One day, a man was sitting at home with a beer in hand when he read about a pun competition being held downtown. He got up early the next morning and came up with the best puns he had ever seen, and entered his 10 best puns hoping he would win, but unfortunately no pun in 10 did.
I sent 10 puns to the world best pun contest...
...hoping at least one of them would win.
Well,no pun in-ten-did.
Military puns are funny
Generally speaking
Do you know why kleptomaniacs have such a hard time understanding puns?
Because they take things literally.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns
but I soon realised toucan play at that game
Math Puns
The first sine of madness.
Bad puns
That's how eye roll.
I honestly cannot deal with puns.
But I can with a deck of cards.
A man entered a pun contest in the newspaper
He entered ten of his best puns hoping that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
I spent all day working on a bunch of puns about limousine drivers.
But I still have nothing to chauffeur it.
I have some bad eye puns.
But my friend's are cornea.
Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..
he can call him missile toe.
Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.
A person needs two things for a good life: good tea and good puns...
Without them, you've just got a s**...-tea life.
While most puns make me feel numb,
Math puns always makes me feel number.
What should you do if someone hates on your puns?
Punish them.
Whistle Puns
One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!
Puns about Norse gods...
are Loki the best.
I gave my brother ten puns to make him laugh.
But they couldn't make him laugh, no pun in ten did.
My wife left me because I kept making beer puns.
Alcohol her later.
This sub is just terrible bank of awful puns
and I'm losing interest
So I sent my friend 10 puns hoping that at least one of them would get a laugh out of him.
No pun in ten did.
I've submitted ten puns today trying to make the front page
no pun in ten did...
I told my husband two puns short of a dozen.
Not one of them made him laugh, no pun in ten did.
Puns about communism aren't funny
Unless everyone gets them
A man enters a pun contest in a local paper...
He loses. So the next year, he enters 2 puns, doubling his chances. He still loses. So the third year, determined to win, he enters 10 puns. He waits, hoping at least one of his puns will win, but no pun in 10 did.
I submitted ten puns into a pun contest, wanna know how many won?
No pun in ten did
Never explain puns to thieves.
They take things literally.
Some of my friends make The Offspring puns, some of them violently hate them
I guess I gotta keep em separated
It's almost impossible to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.
Since they always take things literally.
Is it too soon to joke about the mars rover?
There is way too many good puns for it to be a missed opportunity.
My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them.
I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
