puns Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious puns puns

If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?

Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"

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The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision

I can just see it now.

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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

Because they always take things literally.

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In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision...

I can't wait to see them all.

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Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.

Well, that and sex.

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Not all math puns are bad

Just sum

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#2020

In the year 2020 we're going to have a lot of bad puns about vision.

I can't wait to see them all.

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My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.

Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.

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A man enters a pun contest in a local paper...

He loses. So the next year, he enters 2 puns, doubling his chances. He still loses. So the third year, determined to win, he enters 10 puns. He waits, hoping at least one of his puns will win, but no pun in 10 did.

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What I want written on my tombstone:

"Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"

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I like my puns like I like my sausages...

the wurst ones are the best.

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My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?


Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.


Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

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I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in 10 did.

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Marriage Counseling

Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage?

Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns.

Husband: Divorce is strong with this one.

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Whistle Puns

One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!

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My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...

But toucan play at that game

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From my nine year old...

He walked up to me tore a piece of paper and walked away, I look at the paper it says "my puns" I ask what that was about, he says " I know... My puns are tear-able"... Thats my boy

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In 101 Dalmatians there were 99 problems and bitches were approximately half of them

This got banned from Showerthoughts for being a pun, and I knew you guys liked puns so here we are!

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So I sent my friend 10 puns hoping that at least one of them would get a laugh out of him.

No pun in ten did.

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My friend was harassing me with bird puns

But toucan play at that game.

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Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?

If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.

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I spent all day working on a bunch of puns about limousine drivers.

But I still have nothing to chauffeur it.

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Therapist: So why doesn't the marriage work?

Wife: My husband uses to many Star Wars puns

Husband: Divorce is strong in this one

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Math Puns

The first sine of madness.

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Why are men always telling their women terrible puns?

So we can stare at their tits while they're rolling their eyes.

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I've submitted ten puns today trying to make the front page

no pun in ten did...

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What should you do if someone hates on your puns?

Punish them.

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I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh

No pun in ten did.

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A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry

No pun in ten did.

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They say puns are bad to bring up during gay sex...

Butt fuck that.

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Puns about communism aren't funny

Unless everyone gets them

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I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns.

Comet me bro.

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There was a man who loved puns.

There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Ugh. Sausage puns.

They're the wurst.

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What are the most funny Puns jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Puns? Well, here are the best Puns dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Puns pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes