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Punctuation Jokes

76 punctuation jokes and hilarious punctuation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about punctuation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Punctuation Short Jokes

Short punctuation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The punctuation humour may include short no comma jokes also.

  1. I'm giving up drinking, for a month. *(oops, incorrect punctuation)*
    I'm giving up. Drinking for a month.
  2. Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, "Let's eat kids" becomes "Let's eat punctuation"
  3. I'm giving up drinking till christmas Bad punctuation, can't edit title
    I'm giving up. Drinking till Christmas.
  4. Whats a prisoners favorite punctuation mark? Period.
    Because it marks the end of a sentence.
  5. Punctuation Matters! I was walking past a farm and a sign said:
    "Duck, Eggs"
    I thought: That's an unnecessary comma - and then it hit me."
  6. My landlord doubled my rent. I'm going to give up drinking for a month. Sorry I missed punctuation there.
    I'm going to give up, drinking for a month.
  7. My friend in a wheelchair got mad at me. He texted me "I cant stand you"
    I said "Use punctuation, its 'I cant stand, you?' "
  8. My mom always said I was like a punctuation mark I am an exclamation mark when I should have just been a period.
  9. What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row? A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!
  10. What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuation? A medically induced comma.

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Punctuation One Liners

Which punctuation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with punctuation? I can suggest the ones about punctual and comma.

  1. I love eating babies and smiling but I hate punctuation
  2. What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend? ..accommodating.
  3. I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard. I expect a long sentence.
  4. My three favourite things are Eating my children and not using punctuation
  5. My three favourite things are..... eating my grandma and not using punctuation
  6. Punctuation is very important... There's a Maypole dancer.
    Theresa May, pole dancer.
  7. What do you call a friendship between punctuation? Commaraderie
  8. Which punctuation mark gets the most rest? A comma
  9. Punctuations saves lives Lets eat Grandpa!
    Lets eat , Grandpa!
  10. Celebrate, it's national punctuation day! Let's eat, Grandma Let's eat Grandma.
  11. Why do words, phrases and punctuation keep ending up in court? To be sentenced
  12. What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes? PUNctuation
    Okay, I'll leave.
  13. When it comes to punctuation & pregnancy scares, periods are better late than never.
  14. I recently won a punctuation competition. My prize was an apos-*trophy*.
  15. Why did Punctuation ruin Santa's marriage? Because a comma seperates two clauses

Punctuation joke, Why did Punctuation ruin Santa's marriage?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about punctuation can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of punctuation puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Punctuation Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about punctuation you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean punchline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make punctuation prank.

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard, "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote, "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote, "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Italian Wedding Invitation (must be read aloud, including punctuation marks)

**You, wedding Rosa mister.**

Important Punctuation

So little Timmy is at school and for show and tell, he drew a dot on the board.
The teacher asks him, what's that?
Timmy then replies, it's a period!
Teacher, what's so special about it that you brought it in for show and tell?
Timmy, I don't know, but this morning, my sister said she missed hers. Mommy fainted, Daddy got a heart attack, and the man next door shot himself in the head.

A couple of old guys sat at the bar...

Ernest pops up with a comment "George, when I was 20 years old and I had a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands!"
They sit in silence a few minutes, punctuated by the occasional sip.
Ernest says "When I was 35, I could bend it with one hand."
A few minutes later, he says "Now I can bend it with one finger!"
Another few sips and he says "George, how much stronger do you think I'm gonna get?"

"Can we have 'Punctuation s**...' tonight?" I asked the wife.

"What do you mean, 'Punctuation s**...?" she
queried.
"It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."

Please enter your new password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf
YouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

In the World of Punctuation, Asterisks give a party...

In the World of Punctuation, Asterisks give a party.
The party is for Asterisks only, and only Asterisks can enter.
At some time the doorbell rings. One Asterisk opens the door and sees a Dot.
The Asterisk says to the Dot:
"I'm sorry, you cannot enter, this party is for Asterisks only"
And the Dot says: "idiot, it's me! I put gel in my hair!"

Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks.

Step 2) ??????
Step 3) Profit.

A f**... is the only b**... function which has its own punctuation.

The skid mark.

Here's my review of EA

Sorry EA but if you want the review it'll be $5.99 for each letter and $7.99 for each punctuation and comma

Punctuation is everything: "Will you marry me" is a marriage proposal

"Will, You, Mary, Me" = a f**... Inquiry

s**... positions for grammar n**...

There was once a book written in ancient India about s**... positions using punctuation marks.
It was called the comma sutra.

What do most criminals do at the end of their sentences?

Add a punctuation mark.

Why did the punctuation mark have such an easy time going out with other punctuation marks?

It was a comma dating.

What's the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test?

A period.

Little Johnny was learning about punctuation

The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself

Punctuation is important when answering questions.

If a woman asks you what sort of picture you want her to send you...
"n**..., baby" sounds a lot better than "n**... baby".

An English professor wrote these words...

a woman without her man is nothing
On the board and asked his students to punctuate correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote a woman, without her man, is nothing.
However, all of the women wrote, a woman: without her, man is nothing.

Punctuation can make a big difference in the meaning of a sentence

For example:
Let's eat Grandma.
Let's eat punctuation.

What is a lumberjack's favorite punctuation?

An axelamation mark!

The importance of punctuation...

... is the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse or helping your uncle j**... a horse.

Punctuation and grammar makes all the difference

Proper punctuation and grammar is the difference between helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse .

I was a surgeon with bad punctuation

I got fired for leaving out a colon

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "What's the WiFi password?"

The bartender replies "you need to buy a beer first"
So the guy buys a beer and asks again "so what's the WiFi password?"
The bartender replies "you need to buy a beer first, all lowercase, no punctuation."

Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, what's the WiFi password?

The bartender replies, you need to buy a beer first.
So the guy buys a beer, and asks again, what's the WiFi password?
The bartender replies, you need to buy a beer first, all lowercase, no spaces or punctuation.

Punctuation is so important

I learned that when I helped my uncle j**... a horse

I'm giving up m**... for an entire month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.

What is a criminal's favorite punctuation mark?

The period. It marks the end of his sentence.

i've given up m**... for an entire month

sorry. bad punctuation.
i'm giving up! m**... for an entire month.

Giving up

I'm giving up drinking for an entire month.
Sorry, poor punctuation.
I'm giving up! Drinking for an entire month.

An English professor wrote on the board: A woman without her man is nothing.

The class was then asked to punctuate the sentence.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Too bad punctuations couldn't fight each other. Imagine a match between . and :

I'd pay to see that b**... s**....

What's a prisoner's favourite piece of punctuation?

Periods, exclamation marks, or question marks - whichever one ends the sentence quicker.

A panda walks into a bar...

A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Punctuation saves lives.

For example, there is a big difference in:
Let's eat Grandma!
and
Let's eat punctuation!

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard:

*"Woman without her man is nothing."* The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: *"Woman, without her man, is nothing."*
The women wrote: *"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."*

Punctuation joke, Which punctuation mark gets the most rest?

jokes about punctuation

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these punctuation jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.