The Best 89 Punch Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Punch jokes. There are some punch juice jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these punch prom puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Punch Jokes and Puns

A man calls home to his wife after an accident at the factory.

He says, "I had a bad accident with a punch press, and it cut off my finger."

She asks, "The whole finger?"

He replies, "No, the one next to it."

The punchline comes first.

How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?

A 1-2-3 punch of cow jokes

**What do you call a cow with 2 legs?**

*Lean beef.*

**What do you call a cow with no legs?**

*Ground beef.*

**What do you call a masturbating cow?**

*Beef strokinoff.*

Punch joke, A 1-2-3 punch of cow jokes

With the punchline first.

How did the time traveler tell his jokes?

(I'm sorry, it was just so easy!)

How do you break a Polacks finger?

Punch him in the nose.


A man walks into a party...

He sees a group of people lined up at a table. He approaches a man at the end of the line, and asks, "excuse me sir, what's this line all about?"
The man replies, "Well, this is the punch line."

So a man walks into a bar...

And he goes to the counter and sits on a seat, patiently waiting for the bartender to ask him what drink he might want, which the bartender does. So the man asks for punch, in reply, the bartender tells him to get in the line, leaving the man confused. After a moment of searching throughout the bar, the man realised there was no punchline.

Punch joke, So a man walks into a bar...

My punchlines are like lost baggage...

you should get them in a couple of days.

- George Watsky

Socrates on jokes...

Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.

Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.

Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?

Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.

Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?

Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.

Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had intercourse.

I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.

My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having sex with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.

Any help?

Witty Answer from a Four Year Old

Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".

MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."

You can explore punch knock reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean punch jonestown dad jokes. There are also punch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight!

One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, "If you cross this line i will punch you!"

That was the punchline.

At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch...

So I told a bunch of my friends "I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation."
Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line."

This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it.

What's the difference between a feminist and a computer?

You can punch information into a computer.

Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak?

It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?

An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

Punch joke, An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying "punch me"...

A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying "punch me". There's a que of people all waiting to get a hit. A man walks up to the que of people and asks "What's going on here?". They all turn to him and reply "This is the punch line"

A guy is taking his girlfriend to the prom

He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but he eventually gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but he eventually gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to get some punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.

Where do all the funny people hang out at a party?

In the punch line


Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people.

I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

A man and his wife go to a class reunion.....

A man and his wife go to a class reunion after a grueling 4 hour drive. When they arrive they're given name tags and head to the gymnasium.

They start talking to some friends when the wife is starting to get thirsty. So she asks the husband to go get in line to give her some punch.


He returns after 10 minutes with one empty cup, and when the wife asks about her drink the husband replies,

"Sorry honey, the punchline was too long and it wasn't that good"

I got punched in the face by a hipster today...

I yelled "Bro, that's not cool!"

He replied, "not yet".

Why aren't there many jokes about the Jim Jones massacre?

There would have been, but the punch line was too long...

Why is Bruce Lee so good at telling jokes?

Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.

I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead.

Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.

I like my pillow like.....

I like my pillow, like I like my women.

Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch.

What's Chris Brown's favourite drink?

Punch

A man was stabbed in the stomach in an alley...

he was gonna punch him back, but he didn't have the guts.

A middle school boy comes home crying...

His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"

A guy asks a girl to prom...

A guy asks a girl out to prom and she says yes. Excited, the guy goes to dress shop to get a tuxedo but there is a very long line. After buying the suit he goes to buy flowers for his partner. So he gets in another very long line in the flower shop. Finally after hours of waiting he goes to prom. After dancing for a while his partner asks him to get punch for her. When he gets there, their is no punch line.

Today, a midget insulted me, so I had no choice but to punch him in the face...

I never thought I'd stoop so low

I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix...

Anybody got a punch line?

You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke.

What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?

A boy asks a girl to prom..,

..and she says yes. Overexcited, he is told he must show up with a limo and a tuxedo. So he goes to the limo rental and waits in the limo line, and he gets the limo. Then, he goes to the tuxedo rental and waits in the tuxedo line. Finally, the big day comes, and he brings his date to prom. She asks him to get some punch. He goes over to get some punch, and realizes there is no punch line.

What does Chris Brown call a group of his ex-girlfriends?

The punch line

How is a punchline like a starving African child?

If you spend too much time explaining why it's funny, it dies.

Why don't people ever make jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones?

The punch line is too long.

TIFU by delivering a punch line in the wrong place at the wrong time

April Fools!

At the Bee Prom...

A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line

I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."

So here goes:

Walk forwards.

Turn left.

Pasteurization.

A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch

The bartender says, "Pal, If you want punch, you'll have to go stand in line."

The guys looks around, but there is no punch line.

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar.

the bartender asks, "what can I get you?"

The patron responds, "just a fruit punch for me, I'm driving"

The bartender says, "great, but you have to get in line."

The patron stops and looks around only to reply, "I don't see a punchline..."

Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

This kid walked up to me and called me gay..

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to punch this kid directly in the mouth. With my lips. Softly.

Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights?

That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.

However, he can't, because the punch line is out of order.

A man at a party wants to grab some punch, so he walks to the punch line.

When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.

Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.

When is it ever ok to punch a midget?

When he tells you your girl's hair smells nice

Son: Dad, a guy called me gay at the school today

Dad: Punch him in the face.

Son: But he is so cute.

Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...

Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"

God: "Really? When was that?"

Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."

A passer by sees a man holding a sign saying punch me for free

Much to the passers surprise he went up and asked the man if there was any takers and the man replied take a look there is no punch line .

This guy was making fun of my friend Line for his funny name...

So he socks him right in the face and I say,

"Good punch Line. "

So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf?

A baaad neigh-borhood.

...

I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me.

If you see someone drinking a Sierra Mist, punch them straight in the face...

...that's the first rule of Sprite Club.

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"

The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"

"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.

Two guys stumble out of a bar on night to fight.

The first man draws a line in the dirt and says " if you cross this line i'll punch you"

That was the punch line.

There was this guy who took his girlfriend to prom...

He waited in a really long line to get some tickets.

After he finally got them, he goes to rent a limo, there is also a really long line, but he finally rents the limo.

Then at the prom he goes to get some punch. There is no punchline

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How do you tell the difference between good Comedians and bad ones?

The Bad ones Punch up the screwline.

When does a joke become a Dad joke?

When the punch line becomes *apparent.*

My kids hate this one and I can't stop laughing at it...

I remember when I was a little boy, an old man suddenly stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

So I've spent all my life working on a time machine, and now that I've built it, I'm going back in time to when he was a little boy, and I'm going to punch him and see how he likes it!

Tell the Punchline first.

How do you ruin a joke?

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

This joke has no punch line

But you might get a kick out of it

I've never been able to tell jokes

I always punch up the fuckline

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

Do you know why there weren't any jokes at Jonestown?

.....the punch lines were too long.

I have a joke on Donald Trump.

It's a great joke. With a good buildup and a punch, and whatever. I showed it to my friends -- you know some of them are really good judge of jokes. I showed it to them and they said it's really funny. Almost everyone agrees it's good. Some of them says it's too good -- maybe a little bit too funny. You know they love to laugh. You maybe even say it's the funniest joke ever. I have THE BEST JOKE in the world.

I think my family is finally catching on to me telling jokes in sign language...

They've been standing further away, so I can't hit them with the punch line anymore.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown

but the punch line is too long.

But you already know the punchline!

I have a joke about time travelโ€ฆ

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

Sheย agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. Theย rental has a long line, so he waits andย waits, and finally he gets his suit.

Heย decides to buy flowers, so he goesย to the flower shop. The flower shopย has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilย he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girlย and they go to the dance. There is a long lineย into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally,ย they get into the dance, and the guy offersย to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,ย so he goes to the drink table, and there isย no punch line.

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of punch

The bartender says "If you want punch, you'll have to wait in line like everyone else."

So the man looks around the bar, but there is no punchline.

Waiting and waiting and waiting...

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. Sheย agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. Theย rental has a long line, so he waits andย waits, and finally he gets his suit.

Heย decides to buy flowers, so he goesย to the flower shop. The flower shopย has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilย he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girlย and they go to the dance. There is a long lineย into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally,ย they get into the dance, and the guy offersย to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,ย so he goes to the drink table, and there isย no punch line.

Doctor: Did it hurt? Patient: Yes, a lot.

Doctor: So are you going to take the vaccine, or should I punch you in the face again?

A strong boxer

has a foam board to practice on.
He punches it 10,15,20 times in a row, so hard that each punch makes a crater in the foam.
After he finishes practice, he turns to an imaginary audience, shows them the board, and tells them




"here's the punchline"

After getting punched for making a racist comment at our last family gathering, my uncle won't be attending the next one because

black eyes matter.

The punchline comes before the joke

You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?

A 10 year old girl opens a lemonade stand and sells at such low prices her competition can't keep up, and is forced to close down.

Maybe it would have helped if there were a punch line..

Why doesn't Chuck Norris tell jokes?

His punch lines are deadly.

A couple go to prom.

The girl says, let's get our photo taken. So they wait in the photo line and get their photo taken.

She says, go find us a table. So he waits in the line to get a table and gets a table.

While sitting, she says, get me a snack. So he goes to stand in the snack line and gets a snack.

She's thirsty and says, go get me some punch. He goes, but there isn't a punchline.

A guy asks a girl to the school dance

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. Sheย agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. Theย rental has a long line, so he waits andย waits, and finally he gets his suit.

Heย decides to buy flowers, so he goesย to the flower shop. The flower shopย has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilย he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girlย and they go to the dance. There is a long lineย into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally,ย they get into the dance, and the guy offersย to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,ย so he goes to the drink table, and there isย no punch line.

I punched a mailman yesterday.

He said I had a small package.

Know why dad jokes are obvious?

The punch line is apparent.

If someone hates you for no reason, punch them in the face.

Now they will hate you for a reason.

James takes his date to the prom

They get to the building, and there's a long line to get in


They go to take pictures, and there a long line for pictures


They go to get flowers, and there's another long line for flowers.


James is fed up with all the lines, so he goes for some punch, and finds that there is no punchline

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the punch statesman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working punch knockout piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes