Pumps Jokes
30 pumps jokes and hilarious pumps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pumps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pumps Short Jokes
Short pumps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pumps humour may include short pumping jokes also.
- Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.
- I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
- What do you call an accordion player who can play any song by ear? A walking jukebox with a built-in air pump.
- This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire... When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
- It's getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. "It was pump #5," I replied.
- What does the UK economy and dead pigs have in common? The Tories love using both for their pump and dump schemes
- Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station? It was an April fuels joke.
- Found a new way to make money today. I put gas in my truck and the pump gave me 40.00 for my troubles.
- Daylight robbery... I got robbed today at Shell gas station.
I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it.
I said, "Yeah, pump 6." - It now takes a dollar more to pump up a tyre at the local garage I guess it's due to inflation
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Pumps One Liners
Which pumps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pumps? I can suggest the ones about pumped and gas pump.
- The guy next to me on pump 3 put $10 worth of gas in his car. Where's he going, pump 4?
- What do people in Alabama like to do for Halloween? Pump-kin
- How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts? "LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"
- I just had to pay £1 at the garage to pump up my tires. That's inflation for you.
- What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween? Pump Kin
- I couldn't believe how expensive the new bike pump was! I hadn't considered inflation
- 1848: You Have Died of Dysentery 2018: You Have Died From Having To Pump Your Own Gas
- Why does Barbie like Halloween? It's pump-ken time
- What do farmers do in Alabama? Pump kin
- How do red necks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin
- What's the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama? Pump-kin pie.
- What do you call a family that runs a gas station? Pump kin.
- Feeling sick over increasing gas prices at the pump You could call it the car owner virus
- My car loves going to the gas station It really gets him pumped up
- My girlfriend told me she feels dead inside I told her i could pump a bit of life in her.
Cheerful Pumps Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about pumps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean air pump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pumps pranks.
I can usually tell if I'm going to have s**... with someone by what shoes they are wearing.
Pumps and high heels yes, running shoes no- she will probably get away.
An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...
The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".
Superman is flying around the city when he sees Wonder Woman lying n**... and spread eagle atop a skyscraper
He thinks to himself I can fly over there, have super sonic fast s**... with her, and fly away before she even notices…
He zips over, pumps away with a speed that induces time dilation in his nether region, and flies away before Wonder Woman can tell what happened.
Startled, Wonder Woman exclaims, What the h**... was that???
The Invisible Man replies, I have no idea but my a**... hurts like h**...!
What shoes do you buy when your basement is flooded?
Pumps.
Why are Reebok Pumps shoes so expensive?
Inflation.
Why is it more expensive to use air pumps nowadays?
Inflation
Today I went to a gas station and switched the Regular, Plus, and Premium b**... on all the pumps...
April Fuels!
My girlfriend calls me the gas station...
Because I have 6-10 pumps.
Sometimes I gaze upwards at the endless stars that populate the sky and realize how small I truly am.
I should get one of those pumps.
What's something all men shake to reduce trickle when finished?
Gas pumps
What does Mr. Kipling do in his spare time?
Pumps cream into tarts.
Whats the difference between a gourd and a r**...?
One is a pumpkin, and the other just pumps kin.
Dont say Jesus take the wheel if you don't have a car.
Say Jesus take my pumps or flip flops
What's same about Fortnite players in-game and IRL?
2 pumps and they're out of the game.
