JokoJokes

Pumpkin Jokes

156 pumpkin jokes and hilarious pumpkin puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about pumpkin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

With their bright color and distinct shape, pumpkins are not just the star of fall harvests, but also a gold mine for humor – and we've hand-picked the cream of the crop just for you!

Our delightful list of pumpkin jokes is perfect to share over a steaming pumpkin latte, during the carving of a spooky Halloween jack-o'-lantern, or even at Thanksgiving dinner around a fragrant pumpkin pie. With their light-hearted wit, these jokes offer an engaging way to bring laughter into your autumn celebrations or simply any gathering where a touch of seasonal humor can enhance the merriment.

After all, a good chuckle is always in season! So let's delve into the world of pumpkin humor – prepare to 'leaf' your worries behind and have a real 'gourd' time!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Pumpkin Short Jokes

Short pumpkin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pumpkin humour may include short squash jokes also.

  1. What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
  2. Did you know that the state vegetable and official state pastime of Alabama are the same thing? Pumpkin
  3. .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry ...so I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind
  4. Request for a punchline I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter.
    So here goes.
    Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?
  5. Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach
    B. Because she keeps running away from the ball
  6. In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine
    ... runs off ...
  7. What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common? They're both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.
  8. Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter? Enough pumpkin spiced latte will make anything whiter
  9. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a Jack-O'-Lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
  10. This is getting ridiculous.. Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.

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Pumpkin One Liners

Which pumpkin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pumpkin? I can suggest the ones about gourd and jack o lantern.

  1. What do you get if you divide a pumpkins circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin π
    Sorry.
  2. What do you get when you divide 355 jack o'lanterns by 113 jack o'lanterns? Pumpkin Pi.
  3. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch
  4. What do people in Alabama like to do for Halloween? Pump-kin
  5. Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices... Then it becomes basic.
  6. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
  7. What do hillbillys do during halloween ? They Pumpkin
  8. What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern? Pumpkin pie!
  9. What do Alabamian families do on Halloween? Pumpkin
  10. I once won a pumpkin carving contest. It was a hollow victory.
  11. What'd the farmer say when he accidentally squashed his pumpkin? Oh my gord.
  12. What's the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama? Pump-kin pie.
  13. What's a pumpkin circumference divided by pumpkin diameter? Pumpkin pie
  14. Why was Cinderella a lousy basketball player? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  15. What's Alabama's favorite vegetable? Pumpkin.

Halloween Pumpkin Jokes

Here is a list of funny halloween pumpkin jokes and even better halloween pumpkin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do red necks do at Halloween? They pump-kin
  • In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK's assassination I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK's widow. It's my first Jackie O'Lantern.
  • How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween? They pumpkin!
  • What do Mountain folk do on Halloween? Pumpkin.
  • Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.
  • How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky? pumpkin
  • Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween? She identified as pump-kin.
  • What's a priest's favorite Halloween pastime? To pump-kin
  • What do West Virginians like to have at their Halloween parties? Pump-kin.
  • What do West Virginian do on Halloween? They pumpkin

Pumpkin Pie Jokes

Here is a list of funny pumpkin pie jokes and even better pumpkin pie puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie? He's a squashbuckling pirate
  • Did you hear about the sailor that was turned into a pumpkin pie? He's now a squashbuckling pirate
  • What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!
  • What does a cancer survivor who just baked a pumpkin pie say? "I made it."
    Credit to my wonderful brother.
  • In colllege what was the difference between pumpkin pie and my girlfriend? I shared the girlfriend.
  • Apple pie costs 2$ in Cuba Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica
    Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico
    These are the PieRates of the Caribbean

  • What do pie and relationships have in common? Pumpkin spice flavor.
  • How do you make Pumpkin Pie? Take the circumference of the pumpkin and divide it by the diameter of the pumpkin
  • I demand many helpings of pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving... It's a gourd given right!
  • What's the official State pie of rural Alabama? Pumpkin
Pumpkin joke, What's the official State pie of rural Alabama?

Carving Pumpkin Jokes

Here is a list of funny carving pumpkin jokes and even better carving pumpkin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin? To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.
  • My dad said i could carve pumpkins on the kitchen table. So i did as he said. When he came back to check up on me, he yelled, you ruined the table! And you spelled pumpkins wrong!
  • I don't celebrate Halloween but if I did I'd be carving your face Cause I always make my pumpkin smile
  • How to make pumpkin? That's an odd topic I gotta carve deep into it.
  • Right now Chuck Norris' pumpkin is carving itself
  • What do you call carving a pumpkin in September? p**... ejackolantern
  • I carve all my pumpkins in September. I suffer with p**... ejackolantern
  • The difference between s**... and pumpkin carving? In pumpkin carving, one is trying to get all of the seeds out.
  • What do you get when you carve your pumpkin in September? p**... Ejack-O-Lantern.

Pumpkin Patch Jokes

Here is a list of funny pumpkin patch jokes and even better pumpkin patch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction? Apply the pumpkin patch.
  • What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!
  • What did the pumpkin do when he ripped his pants? He sewed on a pumpkin patch.
  • I recently decided to stop smashing pumpkins cold turkey. It was difficult at first, but it got easier once I decided to use the pumpkin patch.
  • How do you repair a broken jack o'lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
  • My girlfriend is a recovering basic white girl. She used to be addicted to pumpkin flavored drinks, food, everything as soon as fall came around. Now she's clean and on the patch.
  • What do Pamplona, Spain and a pumpkin patch have in common? Everyone gets a little gourd.
  • Guys, I'm quitting Halloween. I'm on the pumpkin patch!
  • How do you fix a broken Jack o' Lantern? With a Pumpkin Patch.
    It's c**..., I know. Saw it on my local library's wall.

Pumpkin Spice Jokes

Here is a list of funny pumpkin spice jokes and even better pumpkin spice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Overheard at Starbucks: Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?
    Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange.
  • So I'm dating this girl, called magnesium hydroxide, she likes fairy lights, nickelback and pumpkin spiced lattes... Yeah she is pretty basic.
  • I think my mirror is broken I said pumpkin spice latte 3 times in front of it and no white girl in yoga pants appeared.
  • Yo momma's so fat If she were a spice girl, she would be pumpkin spice.
  • Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes? To make them even more basic.
  • Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH? Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic
  • We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It's for Autumnmobiles
  • I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
    It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.
  • Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic.
  • What did the white girl say when she found out pumpkin spice lattes were considered basic? "My whole life is a lye!"
Pumpkin joke, What did the white girl say when she found out pumpkin spice lattes were considered basic?

Hilarious Pumpkin Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about pumpkin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spooky jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pumpkin pranks.

Why is Halloween a h**...'s favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.
I'll see myself out...

A 900 kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.

Reports say he was squashed.

I heard someone call pumpkin spice lattes basic...

but they are wrong, lattes have a pH below 7

Whats the difference between a gourd and a r**...?

One is a pumpkin, and the other just pumps kin.

Who is the most basic Spice Girl?

Pumpkin Spice.

I saw a beautiful pumpkin today...

It was gourdeous.

What do r**... do on Halloween?

Pump-kin.

I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes...

Naturally, I coded in BASIC

What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with v**...?

A sorority.

What does a r**... do on Halloween?

Pumpkin

My brother and I work together at a gas station, filling cars

I now call him pump-kin.

If a r**... was a pie, what flavour would it be?

Pump-kin.

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

What's a r**...'s favourite vegetable?

Pump-kin.

Why did cinderella quit the soccer team?

Because her coach was a pumpkin and she couldn't get to the ball

What do you get when you cut a Jack O' Lantern by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.
Happy Pi Day, y'all!

What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?

gourd to death

Which pumpkin is the best cook?

Gourdon Ramsay

What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gord!

What do h**... do for Halloween?

Pumpkin

Y'all heard about the state gourd of Alabama?

The pump-kin...

How do you turn a pumpkin into a different vegetable?

You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash!

You have a pumpkin.

You measure around it. All the way around.
Then you cut the pumpkin in half so the top is separate from the bottom.
Measure across the cut pumpkin.
Divide the circumference by the diameter.
What do you have now?
Pumpkin Pi

A pumpkin says to a jack-o'-lantern "All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don't you want to mix it up, try something different?"

The jack-o'-lantern says "I don't have the guts."

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a pumpkin?

Both are orange and wrinkled but a pumpkin has thicker skin.

What do you call a good-looking pumpkin?

Gourdgeous

Why did the farmer give the cow a pumpkin?

He wanted to squash his beef.

Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis?

Because her coach was a pumpkin

5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi
2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi
3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision
4. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?
Sir Cumference . but how did he get that way?
eating too much Pi.
5. I hate all these Pi jokes.
They go on forever.
With that last one I'll show myself the door.

IPAs are just pumpkin spiced lattes for white men

That is all

Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop.

They're absolutely gourd-geous.

What did one Pumpkin say to the other?

Happy Hollowing!

An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!"

What do Donald Trump and a Halloween Pumpkin have in common?

They're both orange, full of c**... and should be thrown out in November.

Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with l**... and it exploded

That's what happens when you mix acid and basic

What do people from Alabama love to do...

Pumpkin

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi

What is the state fruit of Arkansas?

Pump-kin

A joke I thought of this morning.

Q. What's the only vegetable you can inflate?
A. A Pump-kin

It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the handle.

"Trick or treat!"
"A little late on that one you reckon? Halloween was months ago"
"It was? Sorry, I'm Internet Explorer"

Pumpkin joke, It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the h

jokes about pumpkin