The Best 73 Pumpkin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pumpkin jokes. There are some pumpkin melon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pumpkin pumpkin spice latte puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pumpkin Jokes and Puns

What do you get if you divide a pumpkins circumference by its diameter?

Pumpkin π


Request for a punchline

I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter.

So here goes.

Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?

Did you hear about the sailor that was turned into a pumpkin pie?

He's now a squashbuckling pirate

Pumpkin joke, Did you hear about the sailor that was turned into a pumpkin pie?

What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern?

Pumpkin pie!

What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh My Gourd!

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?


Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.

I'll see myself out...

Pumpkin joke, Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

A 900 kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.

Reports say he was squashed.

What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?


Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach

B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

I saw a beautiful pumpkin today...

It was gourdeous.

You can explore pumpkin beets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pumpkin butternut dad jokes. There are also pumpkin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do rednecks do on Halloween?


I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes...

Naturally, I coded in BASIC

How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween?

They pumpkin!

What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka?

A sorority.

Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood

In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic.

Pumpkin joke, Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

Overheard at Starbucks:

Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?

Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange.

Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin...

Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.

What does a redneck do on Halloween?


My brother and I work together at a gas station, filling cars

I now call him pump-kin.

If a redneck was a pie, what flavour would it be?


How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink

I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.

Why did cinderella quit the soccer team?

Because her coach was a pumpkin and she couldn't get to the ball

What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?

gourd to death

Which pumpkin is the best cook?

Gourdon Ramsay

What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gord!

What do you get when you divide 355 jack o'lanterns by 113 jack o'lanterns?

Pumpkin Pi.

What do hillbillies do for Halloween?


Y'all heard about the state gourd of Alabama?

The pump-kin...

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch

We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.

It's for Autumnmobiles

Yo momma's so fat

If she were a spice girl, she would be pumpkin spice.

How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?

Apply the pumpkin patch.

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

What did the white girl say when she found out pumpkin spice lattes were considered basic?

"My whole life is a lye!"

In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK's assassination

I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK's widow. It's my first Jackie O'Lantern.

You have a pumpkin.

You measure around it. All the way around.

Then you cut the pumpkin in half so the top is separate from the bottom.

Measure across the cut pumpkin.

Divide the circumference by the diameter.

What do you have now?

Pumpkin Pi

What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.

A pumpkin says to a jack-o'-lantern "All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don't you want to mix it up, try something different?"

The jack-o'-lantern says "I don't have the guts."

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a pumpkin?

Both are orange and wrinkled but a pumpkin has thicker skin.

What do you call a good-looking pumpkin?


Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis?

Because her coach was a pumpkin

What do red necks do at Halloween?

They pump-kin

5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi

2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi

3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision

4. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?
Sir Cumference . but how did he get that way?
eating too much Pi.

5. I hate all these Pi jokes.
They go on forever.

With that last one I'll show myself the door.

Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop.

They're absolutely gourd-geous.

What did one Pumpkin say to the other?

Happy Hollowing!

I think my mirror is broken

I said pumpkin spice latte 3 times in front of it and no white girl in yoga pants appeared.

So I'm dating this girl, called magnesium hydroxide, she likes fairy lights, nickelback and pumpkin spiced lattes...

Yeah she is pretty basic.

Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?

To make them even more basic.

An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!"

What's Alabama's favorite vegetable?


Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter?

Enough pumpkin spiced latte will make anything whiter

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?

He's a squashbuckling pirate

What do Donald Trump and a Halloween Pumpkin have in common?

They're both orange, full of crap and should be thrown out in November.

Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded

That's what happens when you mix acid and basic

Why was Cinderella a lousy basketball player?

She had a pumpkin for a coach.

What do people from Alabama love to do...


What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi

This is getting ridiculous..

Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.

How do you fix a broken Jack o' Lantern?

With a Pumpkin Patch.

It's crappy, I know. Saw it on my local library's wall.

What'd the farmer say when he accidentally squashed his pumpkin?

Oh my gord.

What's a pumpkin circumference divided by pumpkin diameter?

Pumpkin pie

What do Alabamian families do on Halloween?


What's the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama?

Pump-kin pie.

What is the state fruit of Arkansas?


What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?

Premature ejackolantern

A joke I thought of this morning.

Q. What's the only vegetable you can inflate?

A. A Pump-kin

Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices...

Then it becomes basic.

.. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind

Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?

To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pumpkin gourd jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pumpkin halloween pumpkin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes