Pulpit Jokes
10 pulpit jokes and hilarious pulpit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pulpit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Happy Pulpit Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What is a good pulpit joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A preacher is reaching....
...the end of his sermon. He tells the congregation "Now for next week, I need everyone to read Leviticus chapter 28. It ties into my sermon" A week passes. The preacher reached the pulpit and asked "How many of you read Leviticus chapter 28?" Everyone raised their hands. The preacher looked and said "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no 28th chapter to Leviticus. Now let me start my sermon on lying."
A nun is walking to church.
As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"
A Canadian visits a small church while on holiday in Scotland.
The Canadian is intrigued by the intricately carved pulpit and, being something of a history buff, would like to know more about it so approaches the little old vicar.
"Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to tell me what the pulpit is made of?"
"Aye. Wood."
"You would?"
"Nay yew, is oak."
"Oak? Eh?"
"Glad to have helped."
A woman is sitting at her dead husband's f**....
A man motions to her and asks "Do you mind if I say a word?"
She replies "No, go right ahead".
The man walks to the pulpit, clears his through and says "Plethora".
As he was returning to his seat, the woman stops him and says "Thank you, it means a lot".
A woman whose husband had entered the Navy, gave the pastor of her church a note just as he was mounting to the pulpit one Sunday morning.
The note said John Anderson, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.
The minister in haste picked up the slip and read aloud,
John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safely .
A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.
When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.
The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.
"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.
"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"
What do you do with an orange in a church?
You pulpit
I went to church on Sunday and the message from the pulpit was to "love your enemies."
Seems difficult for me because most of the time I don't even like my friends.
A preacher at a church in Chicago...
...has almost reached the end of his sermon. Before he finishes, he tells the congregation "Now for next week, I need everyone to read Leviticus chapter 28. It will tie into my sermon" A week quickly passes. The preacher calmly walks the pulpit, looks out and asks "Show of hands, how many of you read Leviticus chapter 28?" One person slowly raises their hand. Then another and then another. Soon, everyone has raised their hands. The preacher looked and said "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no 28th chapter to Leviticus. Now let me begin my sermon on lying."
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