Pulling Weeds Jokes

14 pulling weeds jokes and hilarious pulling weeds puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pulling weeds that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pulling Weeds Short Jokes

Short pulling weeds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pulling weeds humour may include short garden weeds jokes also.

  1. Two midgets are sitting around, bored... When one of them pulls out some w**... and asks:
    "Wanna get medium?"
  2. How can you tell an unidentified plant in your garden is a w**...? Try to pull it out. If it comes out easily, it's not a w**....
  3. What did the cop say to the midget, when he pulled him over with w**...? You look a little high.

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Pulling Weeds One Liners

Which pulling weeds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pulling weeds? I can suggest the ones about garden weed and pulling hair.

  1. A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... ...but he didn't have root access.
  2. I was pulled over, and a cop said "your eyes look red. Have you been smoking w**...?"
  3. Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling w**...

Pulling Weeds Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about pulling weeds you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mowing grass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pulling weeds pranks.

A cop pulls over a car. He walks up, and smells a heavy w**... smell. The man turns to him, and his eye are redder than a Coca-Cola can. The cop looks at him and says, "How high are you?!?!?!?"

The driver responds, "He, he. No officer, it's 'Hi, How are you?'"

I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs.

He comes over and says to me, "My dog says you have w**... in the car." I responded, "Well I don't know about that, but I want whatever got you talking to the dog!"

So two guys are trying to find a place to smoke w**......

One of them suggest a field nearby where some cows are grazing. So they light up and are smoking when a police car turns on the sirens and pulls down the road. What are we going to do? says one of the guys. Give the joint to the cow. When the cops get over here, they can't arrest us because we aren't the ones smoking! says another. Out of any other options, they put the joint in the cows mouth. Man we could get in a lot of trouble says one. The other replies, Yeah, the steaks are pretty high

I was talking to a friend's little girl...

I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?
And I said, Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart.

Anything you want, baby.

There once was a man who had done everything his wife told him to since the day they were married. Whether it was taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or pulling weeds, he did it the second she asked.
Then one day, his son decided that he had been befuddled as to why he did this for to long. So he confronted his father while he was cleaning the bathroom.
"Daddy," the young boy said, "Why do you do everything Mommy says?"
"Well son, before you were born, even before your mom and I were married, I made a promise that if I did anything she asked, I could decide your name." The father explained.
The boy walked away with it, relieved he finally had an answer.
However, the boy later reminded his father of the question and asked:
"Was it worth it, Daddy?'
The father, without hesitating said, "Yes, Goku, yes it was."