Following is our collection of Pulling jokes which are very funny. There are some pulling pulled muscle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pulling slid puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
**uber driver:** Yeah, sure.
**me *[pulling out my tuba]*:** Do u like veggie tales?
[Pulling out]
Me: Excuse me, what?
.....flagged down a cab after drunken night out in town. All too late she realised the driver was heading in the wrong direction, & was driving down a dark country lane into the woods.
He stopped the car, then jumped in the back seat, pulling at the girls clothes frantically.
"Stop, stop!" she screamed.
"Don't worry love, I just want a bit of fun, I ain't going to hurt you" he explained.
"No, it's not that, could you turn the meter off first?" she replied.
and she says "wow your really well hung" to which I respond "you're pulling my leg"
... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*
The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
...sees a bloke coming towards him pulling a rope. It looks about 20 feet long, there doesn't seem to be anything tied to the end of it. As they pass each other he says, "G'day mate, mind if I ask why you're pulling that rope?"
The other bloke replies, "Come off it! Have you ever tried to push a rope?!"
He was legendary for pulling out.
You've never tried pulling the blankets back to your side in the night
as the ship was pulling away from the island one of his rescuers was looking back at the island and noticed three huts on the beach. Curious, he asked the castaway what they were for. "Well" he replied "the first one there was my house and that one over there is my church" "and the other?" asked the sailor. "Oh that...thats the church I used to go to"
A guy is out ice fishing and he hasn't had a bite in hours, but the fellow next to him is pulling in fish after fish. Exasperated, the man finally approached the successful fisherman to find his secret.
"What's your secret buddy, I mean you've been pulling in fish left and right all day long."
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm" the guy says.
"What??"
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm"
"I'm sorry, I just can't understand you."
"Oh...," he says and spits something in his hand.
"You've got to keep the worms warm."
You can explore pulling pullin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pulling pulled over dad jokes. There are also pulling puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Not mine, someone else's.
If you really believe it's pulling out before something bad happens, joke's on you, buddy.
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
An elephant escapes from a zoo and ends up in a little old ladies vegetable garden and starts munching. Having never seen an elephant in her life, she freaks out and calls the police.
"There's a giant creature in my yard and it's pulling out my vegatables with it's tail!"
"What's it doing with them?"
"If I told you, you'd never believe me!"
All come from not pulling out on time.
"Dad, I will never ever go sledding with you again!"
"Shut up and keep pulling, son."
She said I was the biggest she's ever felt, I said "Nah girl, you're just pulling my leg."
His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?"
A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to suicide.
Doctor: you shot your finger for suicide?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.
You're pulling a Christian Bale.
Parents.
Banner.
A professor and a fool
A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!
Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.
Because he is the best at pulling out.
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."
I'm sick of people telling me I'm a weakling so last night I went to the gym.
After a light warm up, I steadied myself, put both hands on the metal bar and heaved with all my might. I strained and I strained but still, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get it to budge.
Eventually one of the burly staff members came over and said... "Stop pulling on the door mate, we're closed."
The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
and she said I was the biggest she had ever had. She was just pulling my leg.
Turns out they were firefighters.
Unfortunately, it turned out they were firefighters
They never know when you're pulling their leg.
Brits are really good at pulling out.
If a blind girl tells you your manhood is massive…
…she's probably pulling your leg.
He walks up to barman and says:
'Can I have a pint of bitter, please.'
'Certainly,' says the barman and starts pulling a pint. But he can't resist asking. 'You do realise, sir, you have a meat and potato pie on your head?'
The bloke replies: 'Yes, I always have a meat and potato pie on my head on a Wednesday.'
'Ah!' Says the barman. 'But today is Tuesday!'
'Oh no,' says the bloke. 'I must look like a right twat.'
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
...my wife said, "You spoil those dogs."
After getting the man to pull over, he tells him that since it's the end of his shift that he'll let him go if he has a good explanation for why he kept speeding up instead of pulling over.
The driver says: "Don't you recognize me? My wife ran away with you 2 years ago and I thought you were trying to give her back"
Oops, wrong thread
A man is walking down the street one day when he notices another man coming towards him, dragging a length of rope. It's about 20 feet long and not tied to anything, so as they pass the first man says, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your rope. May I ask why you're pulling it along?"
The second guy laughs and says, "You really need to ask? Have you ever tried to push a rope!?"
There is an idiot pulling a door that says "Push"
It seems pulling out is his solution for everything.
He ended up pulling a mussel
"I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"
Pull out her chair at dinner and whisper, "That's not the only thing I'll be pulling out tonight." Then pull out her napkin like a true gentleman.
(doesn't work at Mc Donalds)
... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."
When you pull a car, you get tired. When you push one you get exhausted.
Gnarly.
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
I thought she must be pulling my leg so I played along. Oh yeah? I said, They're for covering your cigarettes in the rain.
Well one day we were in a pharmacy and she asked the clerk for a package of condoms. He asked what kind, and she said oh, to fit a camel.
She said I was the biggest she's ever been with, I said "ah you're just pulling my leg"
The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.
The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor what's wrong with the kid.
The doctor shrugs a bit and says, "I'm not sure yet, but for one thing, he certainly isn't eating right."
I snapped pulling him off her. But sir, I'm not kissing her! He pleaded. She's stopped breathing.
Do I need to repeat myself?
For some reason, the FBI keeps pulling me over.
She told me I was the biggest she'd ever laid her hands on.
I said "nah, you're pulling my leg"
>"C," eh? "N," eh? "D," eh?
The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"
I think he's pulling my leg.
Parents
"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
(based on Kauffman, G. and Blakeley M. eds. 1980. Pulling Our Own Strings. Page 51)
He asked for my help in pulling it off.
"We have to make love right this moment," she declares, pulling his clothes off.
Not one to waste an opportunity, the man stands at attention and gets to work.
After the deed is done, the man says, "That was pretty good. But why all of a sudden?."
"Oh," the wife replies, "my egg timer is broken."
...are you pulling a fast one?
"Pulling in your stomach wont make you any lighter" she said
"I know", I said, "but if I don't, I cant see what it says on the dial"
"Ever since my husband found a strange
pair under the bed."
Did you hear about the war between Nova Scotia and Newfoundland?. ? The newfies were throwing grenades the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back
Discovering himself, pulling his pud, jacking off, choking his chook or whatever. His dad busts in unannounced and mortified yells SON DON'T DO THAT YOU'LL GO BLIND! To which the son replies .....um dad, I'm over here.
Enter the wagon.
Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him: The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.
Why are you pulling that string along ? asked a nosey cop. The mans answer? You try pushing it !
It was fun while it lasted pulling people over and taking their drugs and stuff, until I got busted for impersonation.
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
You spoil those dogs ....
He buys a gun, comes home early from work, and sure enough there is his wife and another man, naked in bed. Without a word the blonde man pulls out the gun and blows the guy away. Looking his wife in the eyes he puts the gun to his head and starts pulling the trigger. No! No! Honey don't! The wife screams. The blonde man says Shut up! You're next!
and pulling your hair can be a root problem.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pulling mower jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working pulling tug piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.