Pulled Trigger Jokes
37 pulled trigger jokes and hilarious pulled trigger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pulled trigger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pulled Trigger Short Jokes
Short pulled trigger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pulled trigger humour may include short pulled jokes also.
- me "Please to meet you, I am from East Detroit" Other person: "Oh my gawd, have you ever seen someone get shot"
Me: "No I close my eyes when I pull the trigger" - Tony Romo was depressed after yesterday's loss. He was so upset he got his gun, pointed it at his throwing hand, and pulled the trigger.
He's OK, The bullet was intercepted. - So the bartender offered me a Mountain Dew and then pointed gun at me saying drink or I'll pull the trigger It was a Dew or Die situation
- They told me to get help when I was suicidal. My guy was terrible-- he wouldn't even pull the trigger!
- What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you? You pull the trigger again.
- Ever realize you've accomplished nothing? I should have put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger years ago.
Anyways, welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order? - What did the school shooter say to his teacher right before he pulled the trigger? Bye Mom.
- What's the difference between a radical feminist and a s**... bomber? One's being triggered and one's pulling the trigger.
- Take a p**... 1. Take a p**...
2. Point it to your head
3. Pull the trigger
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND
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Pulled Trigger One Liners
Which pulled trigger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pulled trigger? I can suggest the ones about pulled knife and trigger.
- Point a gun at your head and pull the trigger what happens next will blow your mind
- I've been thinking about buying a gun for a while now. I've finally pulled the trigger
- How did the man get to the other side? He pulled the trigger
- I pulled the trigger on myself... now I'm triggered.
- How are a feminist and a grenade alike? They both explode if you pull the trigger.
- Why did kurt pull the trigger? He couldn't get hole out of his head
- What does the r**... hitman say before pulling the trigger? Get 'em done
Comical & Quirky Pulled Trigger Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about pulled trigger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shots fired jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pulled trigger pranks.
So an old lady's husband dies...
The old lady depressed and wants to kill herself goes to the doctor and asks him "Where is the heart located?" The doctor tells her it is under the left breast. The old lady goes to the gun store and buys a gun, goes home and puts the gun under her left breast and pulls the trigger. The old lady was soon admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.
A telecoms engineer joins the army...
On the shooting range the Sergeant shows him the distant target and tells him to fire six rounds, which he does. The Sarge walks all the way to the target and shouts back "You haven't hit it at all!" The telecoms guy puts his finger over the end of the barrel, pulls the trigger and blows his finger clean off and shouts back:- "It's leaving here ok - the problem must be at your end!"
A blonde was rushed to the hospital
A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to s**....
Doctor: you shot your finger for s**...?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.
A blonde man is convinced his wife is having an affair...
He buys a gun, comes home early from work, and sure enough there is his wife and another man, n**... in bed. Without a word the blonde man pulls out the gun and blows the guy away. Looking his wife in the eyes he puts the gun to his head and starts pulling the trigger. No! No! Honey don't! The wife screams. The blonde man says Shut up! You're next!
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician goes hunting.
The physicist sees a deer and calculates a trajectory in a vacuum and pulls the trigger.
The bullet falls short.
The engineer, seeing this, adds in some fudge and calculates high, overshooting the deer by a similar amount.
The statistician exclaims, "We got it!"
A bunch of s**... dudes decide to play Russian roulette
After they pick who goes first, a guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — He falls on the ground dead
Everyone is terrified, but they go on.
The second guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — There is a huge hole in his temple
Finally, the third guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head, gets ready to pull the trigger... Then he suddenly stops, thinks for a moment and asks:
"Don't they play Russian roulette with revolvers?"
The two things I hate more than anything are exaggeration and hypothetical situations.
if somebody were to put a gun to my head and try to force me to do either, I'd tell them to just pull the trigger.
A cop pulled over a guy he suspected of driving under the influence.
He told the driver he'd have to take a breathalyzer test..
"Sorry, officer but I've got asthma and a breathalyzer might trigger anaphylaxis attack."
"Okay well then you'll have to do a u**... test"
"Afraid I can't do that either. You see I have diabetes and my u**... has all kinds of stuff in it that would throw a test off."
"OK fine. Then step out of your car and walk a white line."
"Nope can't do that either."
"Oh yeah, so what's your excuse this time."
"Cuz I'm drunk, ya dumb a**...!
A mobster discovers that his deaf accountant has cheated him out of 10 million bucks.
He confronts him, bringing along an interpreter. "Ask him where the money is," the mobster says.
The interpreter does so, and the accountant signs back, "What are you talking about?"
The interpreter tells the godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The mobster puts a p**... to the accountant's head. "Ask him again!"
The interpreter signs, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"
"Okay, okay!" the accountant signs back. "The money is buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard!"
"What'd he say?" asks the don.
"He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
A driver was swerving all over the road...
... then was pulled over by a police officer. The police officer knocked on the door and said,
"Sir, please blow into this machine"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have asthma, and it might trigger an asthma attack"
"Okay, could we get a blood sample then?"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have diabetes, and it might upset my blood sugar level"
"Okay, then just step outside your car and walk in a straight line"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk"
A blonde walks out of a hospital.
She hails a taxi. The cab driver noticed she had her hand bandaged. Striking up a conversation he asks how she injured her hand. The blonde looks up sheepishly and says, "I tried to commit s**...."
The cab driver is taken aback but looks at his passenger in the rearview mirror. "I'm glad you are okay but pardon me for asking; how did that affect your hand?"
The blonde takes a deep breath and starts her story. "I took a gun and put it up to one of ears, but then I got worried that I'd be scared of the noise when I pulled the trigger. So I put my hand up to cover my other ear."
So a hunter
made a deal with his wife that if he catches a bear, she would field clean and prepare it. If he doesn't, she gets a day at the spa.
He walked out of their hunting lodge to his favorite spot and waited for a bear to pass by.
He sees a few creatures, but not the trophy he's looking for. An hour goes by...two hours... three hours, and then finally, there it is. The biggest bear he'd ever seen. Well, he slowly, quietly picks up his gun, aims, pulls the trigger, and "click" the gun jams.
"Uh oh" thinks the hunter, as he starts to get up to get out of there. But, the bear noticed and moved towards him. This caused the hunter to run, and the bear gave chase. He ran faster than he ever had before, all the way back to the hunting lodge. He thought he was in the clear, but he tripped going up the steps to the front door.
The bear jumps right over him and through the door into the house. The hunter shouts from outside " You clean this one, I'm gonna go get another one"
Suicidal Blonde
A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."