Pulled Muscle Jokes
19 pulled muscle jokes and hilarious pulled muscle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pulled muscle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pulled Muscle Short Jokes
Short pulled muscle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pulled muscle humour may include short muscle jokes also.
- Being a bachelor is dangerous. I pulled a groin muscle while getting out of bed. Over and over and over....
- Why did the prawn leave the night club early? Because he pulled a muscle.
Saw this outside my local fishmongers. - What happen when you pull a muscle? You start tendon to it.
Now, don't go breaking any bones, even though I know you are cracking up at this.
Share These Pulled Muscle Jokes With Friends
Pulled Muscle One Liners
Which pulled muscle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pulled muscle? I can suggest the ones about pulled pork and muscle man.
- I pulled a muscle digging for gold... It's just a miner injury.
- I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle.
- Why did the prawn leave the nightclub? Because he pulled a muscle.
- I pulled a groin muscle getting out of bed this morning... over and over and over.....
- What did the lobster do at the disco? Pulled a muscle.
Witty Pulled Muscle Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about pulled muscle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tooth pulling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pulled muscle pranks.
I was trying to pull a girl in a bar, so I asked her 'What part of my body is as long as your thigh, contains over 120 muscles, and is an anagram of "pensi"?'
It was as she pulled my pants down in the bedroom five minutes later that I revealed the answer was my spine.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I pulled a muscle m**......
I know, I know; you're not supposed to put the punchline in the title.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Little Johnny grew out of diapers, his dad had to teach him how to pee like a man...
"Listen here, son, this is how you do it," says Daddy.
1. Unzip your pants
2. Pull out your equipment
3. Pull back your f**...
4. Relax the muscle that's holding in the pee
5. Push back your f**...
6. Put your equipment back,
7. Zip back up.
Later that day Johnny's sister, Little Jane, runs up to her dad exasperated. "Daddy, Daddy! Johnny's hogging the bathroom!" "That's fine," responds Daddy, "he's learning how to pee like a man." "No he's not!" yells Jane. "He's just in there shouting, 'Three, five, three, five, three, five..."
"What are you doing?" a man asked his osteopath
A man goes to visit his osteopath to ask about a pain he's feeling in his knee. He gets on the table and the osteopath sets to work massaging and stretching his muscles.
"That feels nice," the man says. "What are you doing?"
"Well," the osteopath says, "I'm working through all the tensions and problems in your life. This knot here is your marriage, this bump is your career and this tendon is your family."
"Really?" the man says. "You can solve all those problems just by doing this?"
"Nah," the osteopath says. "I'm just pulling your leg."
A new manager was hired....
The new manager walked all around the factory, inspecting his workers, when he came to a room where he saw someone slacking off, leaning against the wall. The manager hid behind a few pipes and watched the employee for 5 minutes.
The person didn't move a muscle, so the manager aproached him and ordered him to get into the manager's office.
"What is your name?" Asked the manager.
"Steven," he replied.
"And how much do you make in a week?"
"I make about 400 dollars."
the manager pulls out 400 and hands it to him.
"Here's this week's pay, now get out of here and never let me see you again!"
Steven then gets up and goes away.
Realizing he needs a replacement, the manager then walks up to a random worker and asks him: "that guy, Steve, who just left, what does he do around here?"
"Oh Steve?" Replied the worker, "that's the pizza delivery man!"
Thank god
Mr. Marlow was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on. It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing mane. Mr. Marlow struck a deal to buy it from the owner who did, however, pass on one key piece of information.
"We are a religious family, Mr.Marlow, and we've instilled those values in our horse. To get him to gallop you must say 'Thank God' to get him to stop you must say 'Our Father Who Art in Heaven,"
Settling into the saddle, Marlow said " Thank God," and the animal took off. They rode for miles; suddenly they were coming up to a cliff. Unfortunately, Marlow couldn't remember the phrase to make the animal stop and tried every Biblical passage he could think of until, just a few feet from the edge of the cliff, he shouted, " Our Father Who Art in Heaven! The animal stopped instantly. Shaking and perspiring, Marlow reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Thank God," he said as he mopped his brow...
