Pull Ups Jokes
8 pull ups jokes and hilarious pull ups puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pull ups that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Pull Ups Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good pull ups joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I just did 10 pull ups this morning
These jeans are tighter than I remember
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
No sit-ups, pull ups or any other kinds of ups.
But f*c**... ups, Those I can manage!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: I can't do pull-ups or push-ups
Wife: But you can do a lot of f**...-ups
I do pull ups to get girls...
and pull outs to not get one
Three guys go to a bar
They do pull-ups
Did you hear the joke about the UPS guy?
So one day a UPS worker, Jim, gets an unusually large box to bring on his daily route. He checks the address, which was not in his assigned area. However, without thinking much of it, he starts driving there. As he pulls up to the curb he sees that the house looks deserted, with boarded up windows and a dead tree in the yard. Despite a little bit of superstitious fear, he manages to get the box to the door.
When he rings the doorbell, he hears a creaking from inside the house. When the door opens, there is no one there.
Timidly he says "H..hello? Is anyone there?"
Just as he finishes saying that a---
No, no, no, I can't say the punchline, I'm not very good at telling jokes.
This one is really all about the delivery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was told this joke by an old lady back when I was 12.
Three men are at the gates of Heaven. The first walks up to Saint Peter, who asks him how he died.
"I knew my wife was cheating on me, but I had no proof, so I went home early one day to catch her. I walked in and saw her lying n**... in bed, but I didn't see the guy anywhere. I looked in the bathroom, in the closet, under the bed... nothing. But then I looked out the window and saw a man hanging from the fire escape below me in his boxers. In a fit of rage I picked up the refrigerator beside me and threw it at him. Unfortunately, this gave me a heart attack and I died."
Saint Peter gives his condolences and lets the first man into Heaven. The second man walks up.
"So I was doing pull ups on my fire escape this when all of a sudden this refrigerator comes out of nowhere and flattens me!"
Saint Peter again expresses his condolences at the dramatic irony and lets the second man in. The third then walks up.
"So I was sitting n**... in a refrigerator..."
Heaven
Three guys are at the gates of heaven. The angel Gabriel tells them that he has to know how they died before he lets them in. The first guy says "I came home to my apartment on the 4th floor to find that I had been robbed! I was looking around to see if the thief left any signs, and check out the damage, and I saw someone outside the balcony hanging for their life. Thinking they were the thief, I smashed their fingers with a hammer and they fell. Miraculously, they survived. So I pushed my refrigerator off the balcony and it fell on top of them and killed them. Realizing what I had done, I had a heart attack and died. Gabriel says "Well, you obviously were in shock, and you clearly were remorseful, so I'll let you in." The second guy says "I was doing pull-ups on my 5th floor balcony railing when I slipped underneath the rail and fell. Luckily I managed to grab onto the 4th floor railing and was hanging on for dear life when this crazy guy ran up and started pounding at my fingers with a hammer. I fell to the street below, but miraculously I survived. The last thing I saw was him pushing his fridge off the balcony, and it fell on me and killed me." Gabriel says "Although you were reckless, it wasn't your intent, so go on in." The third guy says "I was robbing this guys apartment, and heard him unlocking the door, so I jumped into the fridge."
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