Pull The Plug Jokes
53 pull the plug jokes and hilarious pull the plug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pull the plug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pull The Plug Short Jokes
Short pull the plug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pull the plug humour may include short pulling the plug jokes also.
- What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common? If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.
- If I'm ever on life support, I want you to pull up he plug... Then wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, maybe that'll work.
- I just got in an argument with my grandpa about who's generation relies on electronics more So, I pulled the plug on him. Guess I won that argument
- What's the difference between vegetation and vegetables? You don't have to pull the plug on vegetation.
- So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.
- If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber! Just kidding; if you were a vegetable, I'd pull the plug.
- My grandfather told me my generation is too dependant on technology now-a-days. I told the doctor to pull his plug.
- Let it be known that if I'm ever being electrocuted . . . I just want them to pull the plug on me.
- Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.
- I had a friend... ... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it.
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Pull The Plug One Liners
Which pull the plug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pull the plug? I can suggest the ones about plugs and pull.
- What is the worst response to "I love you"? "I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"
- Is your fridge running? If so, you better catch it before it pulls its plug out
- Why did the lumberjack pull the plug? He couldn't log off.
- what do you do when someone enters a coma in the bathtub? Pull the plug
- How do you discipline bratty appliances? You pull out the plug.
Pull The Plug Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pull the plug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quit job jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pull the plug pranks.
Indian Taxi Driver
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his c**... Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him, "Yes," I replied, as I put them up my nostrils.
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. " A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or over near the heater?"
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
We give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket; and then ask ask them to empty the bathtub...
While I was being given a tour of a mental asylum, I asked the psychiatrist, How do you establish whether or not a person should be committed to your institution?
The doctor answered, We have a standard test. We fill up a bathtub with water, then give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
I see, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's much bigger than the spoon or the cup.
No, said the doctor, a normal person would pull the drain plug. Would you like a bed near the window?
"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.
"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.
Your generation is too reliant on technology," said my grandpa
"No, your generation is too reliant on technology," I retorted as I pulled the plug on his life support to further prove my point.
^
^Shamelessly ^stolen ^from ^a ^top ^comment ^somewhere
During a visit to the mental hospital....
..a visitor asks the Director what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Thats how they do it..
A man goes into a mental institution and talks to the doctor in charge.
He asks the doctor how a patient is actually admitted to the mental institution.
The doctor says, 'well, we send each patient into a room filled with a bathtub full of water. We then hand each patient a spoon, a ladle and a bucket, and ask them to empty the tub the fastest way possible.'
The man says, 'oh, I get it, the sane people use the bucket, since it's the biggest?!'
The doctor replies, 'no, sane people pull the plug! Would you like a window room with a view?!'
EDIT- This was my favorite joke from my Gramps.. He just passed away at 89 years young! #AmericanWarHero
A journalist visits a mental hospital
A journalist visits a mental hospital for reporting and asks the doctor, how do you determine if a patient is mentally ill.
DOCTOR: Well, we first fill a bathtub with water till the top. We then give a teaspoon, a glass cup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST: Obviously a normal person would use the BUCKET because it's bigger.
DOCTOR: No, you're silly! A normal person would pull the DRAIN PLUG! Nurse, admit this in Ward 7!!!
A husband and wife...
Were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.
The guy that invented/designed the USB plug died about a month ago.
At his f**... they lowered his coffin into the ground, then pulled it out and turned it around and put it back, then pulled it up again....
Today was a sad day - we had to pull the plug on my granpa
cause I needed the outlet for my laptop
The right to die
A man and his wife are sitting in the living room, and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.
I was hanging out with my grandfather.
I was on my phone when he knocks it out of my hands and said " You rely to much on technology " red in the face with rage I scream " No YOU rely to much on technology" as I pull the plug on his life support.
Why should doctors wear surgical masks when pulling the plug on Donald Trump?
So no one can see their smiles.
I was recently at a mental institution and asked the director how he knew when someone needed to be admitted...
He said: "We fill up a bath tub with water and offer the person a teaspoon, a tea cup, and a bucket to empty the tub."
I said: "Oh, a normal person would chose the bucket cause it's bigger!"
He replied: "No, a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the window or the door?"
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
The doctor was showing the visitor around the insane asylum
,and showing him a test to decide whether people should be admitted as patients. "We fill a bathtub with water and we hand the person a teaspoon, a cup, and a pail." "Oh," says the visitor, "So the normal person will use the pail to empty the tub." The doctor replied, "No, actually, a normal person would pull the plug. So, would you like a private room?"
My grandpa told me to pull the plug for him...
He said that devices such as T.V's use electricity whilst plugged in even when they are turned off, a phenomenon called Phantom Load .
A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather
One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "s**... autocorrect. I meant wifi."
A man to a psychiatrist:
How do you select who should be admitted to your facility? The psychiatrist replies: We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub. The man smiles: Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket. The Psychiatrist replies: No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?
Should You Be Institutionalized?
During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
The girlfriend ask her boyfriend.
What will happen if i pulled the plug when you are in the middle of your game.
The boyfriend replied.
I will treasure the time with you, deepen our relationship, so that one day we can get married. Have 1 or 2 kids in our happy family and grow old together. And when we are too old, we will stay in the same hospital room side by side with our life support on. I will walk over to your bed and tell you this "Remember that time when you pull the plug in the middle of my game? Now is my turn."
The Mental Asylum
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the teaspoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug out. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
A man and his wife was sitting in the living room
Husband:Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
THE BATHTUB TEST: During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . .
"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well" he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub"
"Oh, I understand" I said "Because a normal person would use the bucket as it's bigger then the spoon or the teacup"
"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or the door?"
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and then ask them to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would just use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug....do you want a bed near the window?"
How to help your local politician qualify for a mental asylum
A politician is visiting the local mental asylum, and asks "How do you decide whether someone should be admitted here?"
"Well," says the director, "We fill up a bath with water, then give the patient a teaspoon, a mug, and a bucket, and ask them to empty the bath as quickly as possible."
"I see," says the politician, "and if he's got any sense he'll choose the bucket."
"No," says the director, "If he's got any sense he'll pull the plug out. Would you like a room with a view?"
Healthcare (freely translated from german)
A man really needs some vacation but can't afford any. So he decides to go to the psychiatry. He asks the doctor: "What do I have to do to stay here?" The doctor says: "We need to make a test of your menal health." He shows him a bathtub full of water. In front of it lies a spoon, a water glass and a bucket. "You have to empty the tub, what will you do?" "Ah," the man replies, "a smart person would say the bucket so I go for the Spoon." The Doctor looks seriously worried at him and says: "No, a smart person had pulled the plug - do you want a room w**... a balcony?"