pull Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pull puns

Two men are drinking in a bar

They pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in.

The bartender comes over and says "you can't eat your own food in here"

So they swapped sandwiches.

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I got pulled over by a female cop...

When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING"

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When you pull the pin on a grenade, how do you put it back in?

Quick answers please.

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I got pulled over by the police ...

He came to the window and said papers ...

I said - scissors, I win - and drove off

He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

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A boy asks his mom, "Is it bad to have a penis?"

She says "No, why"


"Because Dad is upstairs trying to pull his off"

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My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant...

...I can't pull anything out in time!

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Two priests are out driving one day..

when they get pulled over by a police officer.

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver
"Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters"

The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;

"Alright officer, we'll do it"

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Last night my wife started calling me Jeb Bush.

I also pull out way to late.

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A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex...

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."

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My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.

Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"

I said, "Because we're still in Manchester."

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Two priests are out driving and get pulled over

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters

The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says—

Alright officer, we'll do it

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When the inventor of the USB dies...

they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

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Halloween Party (NSFW)

A young lady was invited to a Halloween party, and upon arrival she notices a man wearing nothing but a glass jar on his penis... Intrigued, she approaches the man and asks what he's dressed as.

"A fireman" he replies

"Fireman? How so? You're only wearing a glass jar." She says

"Exactly. Break the glass, pull the knob, and I'll come as fast as I can"

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What does a pulley like the best about its position?

It's the center of a tension.

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Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

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I saw a cop pull over a U Haul today...

Looks like he was trying to bust a move.

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Every N.W.A song

Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas!

Verse 2: Police pull me over just 'cause I'm brown.

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Child molesters

Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver, " Sorry to pull you over father, but we're currently searching for two child molesters."
The two priests turn and look at each other for a few moments and then the driver turns back to the cop and responds, "Alright officer, we'll do it."

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At the dentist

The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!

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I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend, but she was on her period...

so I had to pull some strings.

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I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster

Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.

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How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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A lot of my friends tell me I'd look good in a straitjacket

But I don't think I could pull if off

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I kept pulling the string from my Christmas hat and now its half the size

Oops, wrong thread

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Two guys are walking down a dark alley

when a mugger approaches them and demand their money.

They both grudgingly pull our their wallets and begin taking out their cash.

Just then, one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Hey, here's that twenty dollars I owe you."

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What's the best way anyone could pull off a fedora?

Immediately.

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A five year old told me this joke.. [NSFW]

Was at a cafe when this little kid walks up to me:

"What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?"

"I dunno"

"....... When you pull your meat out of the refrigerator it doesn't make a *pffffffffft* sound."

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Why did the Buddhist pull coins from his butthole?

Because change comes from within.

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A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day

...And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming "you can't do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???".

Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified...

...I had to pull my pants back up and get off the bus...

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What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

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Why did the vampire pull out?

He needed permission to come inside.

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A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman...

And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off.

"I told her I was 90".

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My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control ....

we pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.

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How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes?

You pull down their genes.

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What do a woman and a grenade have in common?

Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

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What are the most funny Pull jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pull? Well, here are the best Pull dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pull pick up lines to share with friends.

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