JokoJokes

Puke Jokes

35 puke jokes and hilarious puke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about puke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your heart out with our hilarious selection of Puke Jokes! From cat puke to dogshit, we've got you covered with all the eww moments! Don't forget the wipes!

Quick Jump To

Popular Puke Short Jokes

Short puke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The puke humour may include short vomit jokes also.

  1. New machine at the gym There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all.
    Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas.
  2. Last weekend my dad caught me smoking a cigarette and for punishment made me smoke until I puked. This weekend I made sure he caught me in bed with my girlfriend.
  3. My son puked all over the bar on his 18th yesterday But then again, 18 shots of tequila are pretty much for a 7 year old.
  4. I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time She ducked my sick
  5. A guy had an eagle. One day it was sick. It puked everywhere and wouldn't stop. Worried, the guy called the vet. Instead of the vet, the cops came and took it away. Cos it was Ill-eagle.
  6. All your advice wont help your friend puking on your bathroom floor because... it's just in one beer and out the other.
  7. Wife calls her mother in-law and asks her "If your baby puked and pooped, who should it clean it up?" Mother in-law yells "the mother!" Wife - "Then come clean up your drunk son!"
  8. A guys says to another: "Gay people make me p**...! The other one replies: "Well, not everybody can take d**...."
  9. My wife got mad because I used the word p**.... But to me that's what her dinner tasted like.
  10. My dad came home drunk last night and started telling me jokes. They all s**..., but as he was telling the last joke he puked up on the punchline. It was the sickest joke I've ever heard!

Share These Puke Jokes With Friends




Puke One Liners

Which puke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with puke? I can suggest the ones about pudding and puddle.

  1. What do you call when a Programmer pukes at IHop? A Stack Overflow
  2. What does two rice grains in the sink mean? Some Somalian has been up all night puking.
  3. What do you call a baby that never cries or pukes on its parents? Dearly departed.
  4. They asked me for my feedback in a restaurant. I puked on the plate.
  5. What do you get when a camel pukes in the desert? A hot mess.
  6. Justin Bieber puked on stage.
    That settles it, she's pregnant.
  7. When a chicken pukes at a party... is that called a PARTY FOWL???
  8. Faggots make me p**...... ... I gotta stop d**... so far.
  9. what do you say to a puking p**...? Heave-h**...!
  10. I hate p**...... It's a bile substance
  11. Eating my cooking is like going to the fair. It looks fun, but you'll probably just p**....
  12. Gay men make me p**.... But, maybe I should stop deep t**... so far...
  13. Why was the wall covered in p**... after a party? It got plastered.
  14. gay men make me p**... don't d**... so hard then
  15. What is green and smells like bananas? Gorilla p**... ... 10 year old me laughed for hours.

Puke joke, What is green and smells like bananas?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about puke can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of puke puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Puke Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about puke you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean puff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make puke prank.

Kid at church

A kid and his mom are sitting in church. The boy says he feels sick and is going to throw up, and his mom tells him to go outside and p**.... The boy returns 2 minutes later, to the mother's surprise. The boy said, "there was a box out there that said, 'for the sick'. How convenient!"

Guy calls his buddy and says, "Hey man, I'm throwing a party this weekend!"

"Gonna get a case of beer; what are you thinking?"
Buddy responds, "Anything but Heineken is cool with me. Drank a case of Heineken last weekend, and I blew chunks."
Guy says, "Dude, drinking a whole case of anything is going to make you p**...."
Buddy responds, "No, man, you don't understand... Chunks is my dog."

If you p**... up your lunch...

you have a net 0, but a g**... gain.

My GF pukes on me when she drinks too much.

I a**... her as well.

Feeling sick before work.

The other day I was hanging out with my buddy Collin and noticed that he doesn't look to good.
He said that he feels like he is going to p**..., has a growing headache and has work in a couple of hours.
He then said "I'm just ganna text my boss Lynn that I'm not feeling well today and will get someone to cover my shift"
With no responce he had only one other option.
Collin had to call Lynn, to call in.

A night of drinking

After a night of heavy drinking at the bars, 3 girls meet up the next day to recall their drunkin night
Girl 1: I was so drunk last night when I got home I blew chunks for hours!
Girl 2: That's nothing! When I got home I couldn't even make it to the toilet and threw up all over my bathroom walls!
Girl 3: You think that's bad. When I got home I went straight to bed and woke up with p**... all over me and my bed sheets.
Girls 2 and 3 are laughing hysterically after hearing about their crazy night when Girl 1 quietly interrupts and says I don't think you two understand, chunks is my dog.

Gay men make me p**...

I wish they wouldn't shove it down my t**....

For the sick

Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to p**.... No problem dear, whispered his Mom in his ear, just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there. Thirty seconds later Bob came back. Did you go to the bathroom? question his Mom. No need responded Bob. Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it 'for the sick', so I just did it in there!

So, a guy is hanging out at a bar before meeting up with his girlfriend.

So, a guy was hangin out at a bar, before going to meet his girlfriend. He ends up getting wasted, throwing up all over himself, and missing his date. He goes up to the bartender and says, "Man, she's gonna kill me when I show up drunk and covered in p**...!"
The bartender says, "You have a twenty dollar bill?"
"Yeah," says the guy.
"Well, stick it jn your front pocket, and tell you girlfriend a drunk threw up on you, and he put a 20 in your pocket so you can have your shirt cleaned. Problem solved!"
So the guy goes home to confront his girlfriend, and she starts yelling at him, accusing him of being sloppy drunk.
"No! Another guy threw up on me! See, he even gave me twenty bucks to have my shirt cleaned!"
The girlfriend takes the money, "There's forty dollars here."
"He pooped my pants, too."

If I hear another Karen Carpenter Christmas song...

...I'm going to p**....

Puke joke, If I hear another <a href="/carpenter-jokes.html" title="Carpenter jokes">Karen Carpenter</a> Christ

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these puke jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.