Public Transportation Jokes
33 public transportation jokes and hilarious public transportation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about public transportation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Public Transportation Short Jokes
Short public transportation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The public transportation humour may include short transportation jokes also.
- LPT: If you know somebody with dyslexia that uses public transport, offer to help them read their timetable to prevent any mixups. Whoops, wrong bus.
- Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down? Anubis
(If you don't get it, say it slower.) - So my dyslexia makes it hard for me to take public transportation and... ...oops. Sorry. Wrong bus.
- Did you know that every car going to and from the church on Sunday is a type of public transportation? They're all Mass transit.
- I love public transport, even though I get excessively sweaty. Also, I think I take my Train Simulation game too seriously.
- How to be Insulting on Public Transportation: Pretend to be foreign when the conductor asks for your fare and try to give him the wrong denomination of money.
- Public transport isn't as depressing as it seems. I was on a bus yesterday at six in the morning... And this really nice guy offered me a sip from his can of cider.
- As a dyslexic, I often misread numbers on public transport and get home late Whoops, wrong bus
- I tried to join a gymnastics class, once. I had to bend over backwards just to get in.
Thank you to the dad I overheard telling his daughter this on public transport... a genuine dad joke. - My friend said he doesn't take public public transport because it's depressing. So I told him about this really friendly guy that I see on the bus who always offers me a sip of his beer... At 6am.
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Public Transportation One Liners
Which public transportation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with public transportation? I can suggest the ones about bus ride and bus pass.
- A dyslexic tries to use public transportation Whoops, wrong sub.
- Why did they plant trees in Harlem? Public transportation.
- What do you call a bus full of gender fluid people? Public trans-portation
- Do you know what's the sexiest form of public transportation? A Succubus
- How do you improve public transportation in Ferguson, MI? Move the trees closer together.
- Where do c**... and lobsters park their public transport vehicles? At the Bustacean
Silly Public Transportation Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about public transportation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean riding the bus jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make public transportation pranks.
Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest,
... when all of a sudden they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, "Hm, I didn't even know they had public transportation here."
[my gf's fav joke, literal translation from German]
Do you work on weekends?
My boss just asked, "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."
I replied, "Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends."
He said, "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"
I said, "Monday."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always thought waking up to a BJ would be nice
I was wrong and I'm gonna try sleeping with my mouth closed while using public transport from now on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the guy with a f**... for public transportation?
He got off at every stop.
To deal with the high price of petroleum, public transport systems are looking at alternative fuels, including grasses and herbs.
The program has had some failures, but on the bright side at least the trains run on thyme.
What do you call a county that lacks a modern telecommunications system?
"Technologically backward"
What do you call a county that lacks a fully integrated banking system?
"Economically underdeveloped."
What do you call a country that lacks a well-connected public transportation system?
"America"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In all his years of using public transportation, Jared Fogle's only been able to get off of one specific stop
m**...
TIFU by boarding public transportation when I realized that the driver was a nun.
Whoops, wrong bus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Something bothers me...
**why is it that when a fat person enters a public transport, the mood of everyone inside changes?**
There was once a man that wanted to stop using public transportation to reach the workplace.
But he just couldn't bring himself to it.
Sheikh's son goes to University
A rich billionaire Sheikh sends his son to a university in the US. He buys his son a gold plated Ferrari so that he can commute from his house to the university everyday.
A couple of weeks in, he gets really upset and sends an email to his dad:
Dad, all my friends in the university use the public transport .. usually a train .. to come to university. I feel really embarrassed to be driving around in a gold Ferrari.
Next day, the Sheikh responds: Don't worry son. I've just transferred $10 million to your account. Go buy urself a train.