Psychiatrists Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Psychiatrists jokes. There are some psychiatrists freud jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these psychiatrists pediatrician puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Quirky and Hilarious Psychiatrists Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

Depressed race car mechanic.

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:

'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'

'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'

'Is he a mechanic too doc?'

'No, a gynecologist'

So a man walks into a psychiatrists office...

wearing nothing by saran wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says, "well, I can clearly see you're nuts!"
edited for spelling, thanks for edfitz83 keen eye ;)

Guy walks into a psychiatrists office.

Guy walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but a pair of see through cellophane underwear.

Doc takes one look at the guy and exclaims. "well I can clearly see your nuts!"

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

jokes about psychiatrists

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.
It's their job to help people find their way in dark places!

(MASH s1 ep7)

I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny

A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.

As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"

The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."

The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but first the lightbulb must decide to change itself.

Psychiatrists joke, How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two Psychoanalysts

Are walking towards each other down a street. As they approach each other, one psychiatrist says "Well hello!" The other replies, "Good day to you!"

Both psychiatrists continue past each other and think to themselves: "Hmmm....I wonder what he meant by that?"

Schizophrenic walks into a psychiatrists office . . .

says, "Doc, am I as crazy as he says we are?"

How many psychiatrists does it...

...take to change a light bulb?

0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing plastic wrap underwear.

Psychiatrist says "Well, i can clearly see your nuts."

You can explore psychiatrists doctor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean psychiatrists patients dad jokes. There are also psychiatrists puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

A man with Transparent underwear...

So a guy wearing nothing but transparent underwear walks into a psychiatrists office, and the psychiatrist says "I can clearly see your nuts".

Nuts

a guy walks into a psychiatrists office. He is naked and wrapped in cellophane.

Psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

"You are fine, how am I?"

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Psychiatrists joke, What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the light bulb will change when it's ready

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it's expensive and takes a really long time.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing saran wrap pants.

Man: Doctor, I think I'm crazy.

Psychiatrist: Well I can clearly see your nuts.

Why doesn't anyone hear psychiatrists in the bathroom?

The p is silent.

Naked man walks into a psychiatrists office wrapped in Saran Wrap.

The doctor says, "Sir, I can clearly see yer nuts."

Psychiatrists office

A man walks in to a psychiatrist office. Doctor says, "what do you do for a living"? Man says, "I'm a car mechanic". Doctor says, "get UNDER the couch".

A man walks in to a psychiatrists office.

He lays on the couch and says "Teepee, wig-wom, teepee, wig-wom..."

The psychiatrist writes a few notes on his pad and replies "You're too tents..."

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, see first the light bulb has to really wanna change.

Cr

A man who thinks he is invisible decides to get help. He walks into a psychiatrists office and tells the receptionist he would like to speak to a doctor, but has no insurance.

The receptionist looks up at him and says, "I'm sorry, the doctor can't see you right now."

They say you should never meet your heroes, and that psychiatrists are heroes.

Frankly, I'm starting to get suspicious of the voices in my head.

Psychiatrists joke, They say you should never meet your heroes, and that psychiatrists are heroes.

A man goes to the psychiatrists wearing nothing but a layer of saran wrap.

When the man asked the Doctor to give him a diagnosis, the Doctor replied: "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."

A man walks into a psychiatrists with a pair of clingfilm underwear.

Psychiatrist: I can clearly see you're nuts.

A man walks in to a psychiatrist office wearing nothing but a pair of string y fronts.

The psychiatrists looks the man up and down and says "Well i can clearly see your nuts"

Why do psychiatrists diagose schizophrenia so often?

Because they wanna charge twice.

2 psychiatrists have just made love in a long deeply passionate session when....

One says to the other, "that was good for you. How was it for me?"

Why is that psychiatrists don't want to visit Arctic areas?

They can't handle bipolar bears.

A new study found that an overwhelming majority of architects are seeing psychiatrists

Most being diagnosed with an edifice complex.

A man is in a mental hospital because he believes himself to be a seed.

He is treated for years by one of the world's best psychiatrists. After 6 years, he finally becomes convinced that he is not, in fact, a seed. There is a party to celebrate his release from the hospital.

A chicken shows up to the party. The man freezes and slowly starts to inch behind a nearby tree. His psychiatrist notices and sighs: "I thought you were over this. You are not a seed, remember?"

The man replies: "look, you know that I am not a seed. I know that I am not a seed. But does the chicken know?"

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

That's an interestng question. Why do you ask?

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But that light bulb has really got to want to change.

A man who thinks he's a piece of luggage has been admitted to a mental hospital.

Psychiatrists say he's the strangest case they've ever come across.

A man walks into a Psychiatrists office wrapped completely from neck to toe in nothing but plastic wrap...

The Psychiatrist takes one look at him sighs and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to really want to change.

A naked man walks into a psychiatrists office.

The psychiatrist says to the naked man, "I can clearly see your nuts".

What's a psychiatrists favorite kinda shoes?

Issues.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light has to really want to change.


Give me your best lightbulb joke.

Why do psychiatrists give their patients shock treatment?

To prepare them for the bill

A guy walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but Saran wrap.

The shrink looks at him and says "well I can clearly see you're nuts.."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the psychiatrists neurologist puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working psychiatrists psychiatrist visit piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes