Psychiatric Ward Jokes
14 psychiatric ward jokes and hilarious psychiatric ward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about psychiatric ward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Psychiatric Ward Short Jokes
Short psychiatric ward jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The psychiatric ward humour may include short psych ward jokes also.
- A midget who claims to see dead people just escaped from a psychiatric ward. There's a small medium at large.
- My mom always said you've got to commit yourself to make it in this life. Now I'm posting from the psychiatric ward. Tell momma I made it!
- At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he's a wolf.
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Doctor: Whatever you do, don't let his grandmother visit! - As a guy, it's not that I have anything against psychiatric wards... I'm just afraid of commitment.
- I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ... and he did it ! The absolute madman!
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Psychiatric Ward One Liners
Which psychiatric ward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with psychiatric ward? I can suggest the ones about psychiatric hospital and maternity ward.
- What food do they serve at the cannibal psychiatric ward? Vegetables.
Psychiatric Ward Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about psychiatric ward you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean psychiatric jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make psychiatric ward pranks.
A guy walks into a psychiatric ward to visit his old man.
As he sits down in the recreation room with his dad, he spots a schizophrenic kid standing on the table.
The kid starts targeting each person in the room, busting out the freshest, most incredible 'yo mama' jokes he's ever heard; true originality at its best.
"That's incredible," he says to his old man, "That kid's got an insane dis ability!"
Nicola Sturgeon is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital when one of the patients sits up in bed and exclaims:
"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"
Before Nicola can respond, another patient responds: "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
while a third one chimes in with "Some hae meat and cannae eat, and some w**... eat that want it!"
She turns a puzzled face upon her doctor e**... and says "Is this the psychiatric ward, then?"
And he replies, "Och, no...
"It's the Burns Unit!"
I walked into a hospital ward today looking for a mate....
No staff around so I asked a patient in bed where the staff were, he said ' Some hae meat and canna eat, and some w**... eat that want it'
So I asked the next guy, he said ' But we hae meat, and we can eat sae let the Lord be thankit'
I asked the next guy and he started singing Auld Lang Syne.
I finally found a nurse and asked if I was on the psychiatric ward....
She said no, its the Burns unit.
A man is talking to a psychiatrist
Man: "So what are the conditions to get admitted to your psychiatric ward?"
Psychiatrist: "We fill up a bath tub with water and put a spoon, a cup and a bucket next to it. Then we tell the person to empty it."
Man: "Ah, and a normal person would take the bucket, right?"
Psychiatrist: "A normal person would pull out the stopper. Do you want your room with or without balcony?"
Hurt my arm this mornin and had to go to hospital for an x-ray, as I was sitting waiting to be seen...
...the lad next to me says," Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!" I was like, eh?!?!., I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side, she said, " ! Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!" , As I grabbed the next doc walking past I said, "here mate is this the psychiatric ward?" He says," no this is the Burns unit! Happy Rabbie Burns Day
Calculus Joke
A mathematician goes a little wacky in the brain, so they put him in a Psychiatric Ward. While there, he realizes he can have a little bit of fun with the other patients. He walks up to one patient and says "Hey, get out of my face before I differentiate you!" Terrified, the mental patient runs away. "This is fun," the mathematician says to himself. He walks up to another patient eating ice cream and says "If you don't give me that ice cream, I'll integrate you!" The patient quickly hands it over and runs away, terrified. The mathematician walks up to a third patient and says "Hey, I'll derive you!" The patient isn't phased. "Hey! I'll integrate you!" Once again, no reaction. "Why aren't you afraid of me?" the mathematician asks the patient. The patient slowly turns his head and says "I'm e^x."
Kidneys.
3 guys are waiting in line to see the release board in a psychiatric ward.
The first guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your knees." The man points to his elbow so the board revokes his release.
The second guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your ear." The man points to his foot so the board revokes his release.
The third guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your heart." The man points to his heart. The board says "now point to your foot", and the man points to his foot. The board is satisfied with his responses and approves his release. On his way out, the first two guys approach him and ask how he got all the answers right. The man points to his brain and says, "I got kidneys."