Psychiatric Jokes

Are you looking for some dark humor? Read this article to experience some funny psychiatric jokes made by psychiatric nurses and doctors working at a psychiatric hospital. Explore the humor behind psychiatric disorders and the evaluation process of mental health. Get ready to laugh!

Great Psychiatric Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

40 injured in local psychiatric hospital fire. Among them 17 men,

6 batmen, 4 dragons, 9 elves, 3 energy beings and 1 pokemon.

I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny

A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.

As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"

The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."

The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"

So a son comes home to find his father watching television...

- Son: ''Hey dad, some chick just told me I looked hot!''
- Dad: ''Oh yeah? And what psychiatric institution was she from?''
- Son: ''Same one as mom, I guess!''


A man walks into a psychiatric clinic wearing nothing but saran wrap

He goes to the psychiatrist and cries, "doc, doc, I don't know whats wrong with me!"

The doctor promptly replies, "Well I can clearly see your nuts"

You have just fallen down from the Moon.

You dust yourself and start hugging everyone, in tears.

The journey has made you thirsty and you take a bottle of Coca-Cola.

The ambulance arrives and they bring you to the psychiatric clinic.

Were you really on the Moon?

A man walks into a psychiatric clinic wearing nothing but saran wrap...

he approaches the shrink and says,

"doc, doc, I haven't been feeling so great lately, I don't know whats going on. Please, can you help me?"

the psychiatrist looks him up and down and says,

"well, I can clearly see your nuts"

At the psychiatric hospital

"Do you still hear whispers in your head?"

"Tell him no!"

"No doctor."

Psychiatric joke, At the psychiatric hospital

What do you call a psychiatric patient who is afraid of doors?


What do they call an affair with a psychiatrist?

A psychiatric tryst.

A doctor was checking up on his Patient at the psychiatric hospital

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Patient: I keep fantasizing about baboons playing soccer.

Doctor: Ok, I will give you medicine today, you'll stop fantasizing...

Patient: Give me the medicine tomorrow, today it's the finals!

I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ...

and he did it ! The absolute madman!

You can explore psychiatric mental reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean psychiatric psychotic dad jokes. There are also psychiatric puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

As a guy, it's not that I have anything against psychiatric wards...

I'm just afraid of commitment.

At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6?

He believes he's a wolf.
Doctor: Whatever you do, don't let his grandmother visit!

In a psychiatric

guard walks in on patient throwing thing out of the window:
Guard - What are you doing?
Patient - Sending airplanes.
Guard - Where is your doctor?
Patient - He flew on the first flight.

Why did the Snickerdoodle go to the psychiatric hospital?

Because it was a little cookie.

A midget who claims to see dead people just escaped from a psychiatric ward.

There's a small medium at large.

Psychiatric joke, A midget who claims to see dead people just escaped from a psychiatric ward.

They told me I should work in a psychiatric hospital...

I'm not that crazy about it.

Did you hear Earth is seeking psychiatric help?

It's bipolar...

A psychiatric patient believed he was running with the bulls.

He was mentally in Spain.

What food do they serve at the cannibal psychiatric ward?


What do a group of psychiatric patients and an anorexic have in common?

Mass hysteria

What do you call music in a psychiatric hospital?

Looney Tunes!

A guy walks into a psychiatric ward to visit his old man.

As he sits down in the recreation room with his dad, he spots a schizophrenic kid standing on the table.

The kid starts targeting each person in the room, busting out the freshest, most incredible 'yo mama' jokes he's ever heard; true originality at its best.

"That's incredible," he says to his old man, "That kid's got an insane dis ability!"

I bought a clock that was made by the patients at a psychiatric hospital

It's the beautiful cuckoo clock I've ever seen.

A soldier was having a psychiatric test prior to discharge.

The psychiatrist asked, "Tell me, Private, what would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
"It would be hard to hear", replied the soldier.
"Good", said the psychiatrist. "What would happen If I cut off your other ear?"
"I wouldn't be able to see."
"That's interesting , why do you say that?"
"Because my cap would fall over my eyes."

A man is talking to a psychiatrist

Man: "So what are the conditions to get admitted to your psychiatric ward?"

Psychiatrist: "We fill up a bath tub with water and put a spoon, a cup and a bucket next to it. Then we tell the person to empty it."

Man: "Ah, and a normal person would take the bucket, right?"

Psychiatrist: "A normal person would pull out the stopper. Do you want your room with or without balcony?"

Psychiatric joke, A man is talking to a psychiatrist

Looked in the mirror and realized how ugly I am

First thing I did was call every person ive ever slept with to get tested. Not for STDs but they clearly need a psychiatric evaluation.

What Christmas carol do they sing at a Psychiatric hospital?

Do you hear what I hear?

A guy goes to a mental hospital for a psychiatric exam. The doctor shows the guy an inkblot image.

Doctor: "Look at this card and tell me what you think it is."

The guy studies it for a minute and says, "Well, not sure, but to me it looks like Rorschach Series 6, card number 9."

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family.

They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.

I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

My mom always said you've got to commit yourself to make it in this life.

Now I'm posting from the psychiatric ward. Tell momma I made it!

Norm Macdonald: "You want to know the worst part about doing an office congo line?"

"First, you turn around to realize there's no one behind you. Second, you realize you're not in an office, you're in a psychiatric hospital"

A patient in a psychiatric hospital is being examined by a shrink. The shrink hands him a piece of paper and asks him, "Look at this inkblot and tell me what do you see."

"Well," the patient says, "I'm not 100% sure, but it looks like Rorschach Series IV, blot #17."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the psychiatric psychiatrist puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working psychiatric psychiatric hospital piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes