Psyc Jokes
99 psyc jokes and hilarious psyc puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about psyc that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uplifting Psyc Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What is a good psyc joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A psychologist tells the troubled man:
tell me about your childhood.
man: it was a horrible time doc, I used to have a twin and everyone accused me for all the troubles he made.
psychologist: what did you do about it?
man: i had my revenge last week..
psychologist: how?
man: I died and they buried him instead.
Two.
How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with schizophrenia..
was really worried until i remembered i dont have a psychiatrist lol
A psychiatrist diagnosed me with kleptomania.
Now I'm taking things for it.
My friend's a psychology major.
He's writing his thesis on the psychology of s**... fetishes. It's not ready yet, though- he still has some kinks to work out.
How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?
How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None.
It's their job to help people find their way in dark places!
(MASH s1 ep7)
A Psychiatrist is sitting in his office...
When his secretary comes in and says "Sir, there's a man here to see you who thinks he's a flock of crows. If you ask me we should just send him to the loony bin and be done with it."
And the psychiatrist replied "Doris! Are you asking me to commit a m**...!?"
What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran wrap?
Well, I can clearly see your nuts.
My psychiatrist says I have revenge issues...
I'll show him.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but first the lightbulb must decide to change itself.
Why did the psychic get fired?
Because she didn't see it coming.
I went to my psychiatrist yesterday about some problems I have been having lately...
After testing me he said, "the diagnosis isn't good. You are crazy." I said,"well I want a second opinion." He said, "Oh yeah? You are ugly too."
Psych visit
A guys shows up at a psychiatrist's office n**..., wrapped in celophane. The doctor says, "I can clearly see you're nuts".
How many psychiatrists does it...
...take to change a light bulb?
0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.
I went to go see a psychic the other day..
I asked her if I'd ever be going to jail some time in the future. She said no, so I robbed her.
A psychic dwarf escaped from prison
There's a small medium at large.
How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But the light bulb has to want to change.
Psychology vs Law
A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy,
He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table,
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The GUY then responded in a loud voice:
"Rs.5000/- FOR ONE NIGHT!! ISN'T THAT TOO MUCH?"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her:
"I study law and I know how to screw people."
Two psychics pass each other in the street..
One says to the other: "You're doing fine. How am I?"
I went to the psychiatrist today
I told him that I have started hearing voices.
He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.
A psychic goes into a clothing store
A psychic walks into a clothing store looking for a new shirt.
Employee: "How about this shirt?"
Psychic: "That shirt is too small."
Employee: "You didn't even try it on"
Psychic: "Because I am a medium"
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