Provisions Jokes
6 provisions jokes and hilarious provisions puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about provisions that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Provisions Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good provisions joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How did the dwarf reach the cookies on top of the fridge?
He Imp-provised.
Two Missionaries...
Two missionaries were ascending a hill in an expedition to convert the hostile unreached jungle inhabitants.
Since very few had ever returned alive from the unfriendly summit very little was known. The two agreed that the best way to win them over was with gifts from their food provisions.
They reached a pass where only one was able to ascend at a time. As the first man cleared the pass, he was immediately set upon by the natives. They took his large pack, pulled the large bunch of bananas out, and distributed them amongst themselves.
The natives began a strange ritual that involved shoving the bananas into their rectums and dancing about in a manner similar to the Māori Haka.
At first, the m**... was horrified by what he saw but he started to giggle and then broke into an hysterical cackle.
The dancings stopped and the leader said, "Why you laugh?"
The m**... said, "my friend is coming with pineapples!"
Trump shut down an Obamacare provision which gave people better and cheaper access to contraceptives.
While becoming the best case as to why contraceptives are extremely necessary in the first place.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Ocean full of beer
Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbles across an old lamp. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought, one man blurts out, Make the entire ocean into beer! The genie claps her hands and the entire sea turns into brew.
The other man looks disgustedly at the one who made the wish and says, Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat.
Just another round of Union negotiations . .
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, This man, he announced, called in sick yesterday! There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. Wow, he said. Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick."
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