Provider Jokes
52 provider jokes and hilarious provider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about provider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this collection of provider jokes! Whether you're laughing at internet providers, daycare providers, healthcare providers, Oxfam, caterers, or manufacturers, these hilarious jokes will leave you giddy. Get your fill of laughter with this collection of provider jokes!
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Funniest Provider Short Jokes
Short provider jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The provider humour may include short producer jokes also.
- Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
- PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
- The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.
- Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea. Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
- I once dated a biologist. I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.
- A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages
Tech support: Have you tried reading them again? - Our local planned parenthood refuses to provide homeless women with abortions. They say beggars can't be choosers.
- How about a game? You provide a random set up and we provide the punchline (PTP?). Most upvoted wins imaginary internet points.
- Teacher: Please provide the ethical definition of copying. Student:
From one person it's cheating.
From many people it's research. - In these tough times taco bell is providing more value than ever Where else can you get gas for $1.19?
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Provider One Liners
Which provider one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with provider? I can suggest the ones about supply and service.
- In terms of money, I'm set for life! Provided I die next Friday
- I prefer cheap brothels. They provide the most bang for your buck.
- What type of insurance does a florist provide? Wife insurance
- Who provides tech support for Israel? RabbIT
- Why can't clay pots provide for their family? They're always getting fired
- I buy all of my fish from one store... ...it's my sole provider.
- Phone Provider: The next call representative will be available in 10-15 Flute Solos
- What satellite TV provider does ISIS use? Daesh Network
- The only provider of hay is deep in debt... so the government decides to do a bale out.
- Money can't buy happiness But it can provide a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- What's the name of the cheapest vasectomy provider? UnderCutters
- What is the prefared email provider of a rapper? G-mail.
- When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do? OP de-livered.
- Derek Zoolander selects his health insurance provider Blue Cross Blue Steel
- Which US state provides the best IT support? Delaware
Service Provider Jokes
Here is a list of funny service provider jokes and even better service provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Thanks to my internet service provider, I was finally able to read a book.... They had an outage
- Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality? THIS POST HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. PAY $10 TO SEE THIS GREAT JOKE.
- If you ever bought or sold a human being... You might be an old person. Or you are an internet service provider conglomerate.
- The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies... It'll be known as the National Elf Service.
- Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years? The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.
- My phone service provider is always wrong about some basic reproductive facts. They're always telling me I'm out of dada, but I'm pretty sure I came out of my mama.
- Internet providers are expanding to other services
- My Internet Service Provider is called Hathway.... Their customer service executive called, it was a woman. I asked if her first name is Anne, we laughed and now I have no internet.
- What's a Russian's favorite service provider? Sprint.
- What do you call it when a Mexican provides hands-on internet services? Emanuel Labor
Internet Provider Jokes
Here is a list of funny internet provider jokes and even better internet provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the most popular internet provider in Canada? EhhT&T
- Cable provider shut my internet down for illegally downloading movies What an invasion of piracy
- What are cats favorite Internet Service provider? Comcat.
Healthcare Provider Jokes
Here is a list of funny healthcare provider jokes and even better healthcare provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series? Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.
Laughter Provider Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about provider you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vendor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make provider pranks.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear of the guy who could literally master any craft, provided he m**... before learning it?
He was j**... all trades.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Each year, a lawyer takes his holidays at an out of the way, country hotel.
With each visit, he continues his affair with the hotel owner's daughter.
On his visit this year he finds out she has given birth to twin boys.
Why on earth didn't you tell me? said the astonished lawyer.
You know I would have married you and provided for the babies.
The woman replied, That may be so. But when I told my parents I was pregnant, we talked over the options and decided it was far better to have a couple of b**... in the family than a lawyer".
A couple's young daughter went to college.
After 6 months she happily let them know she was engaged to a student who is studying to be a pastor, and is bringing him home for the holidays.
And after the introductions the father and the boy sat and the father asked: " How old are you?"
Fiance:"19"
Father: "And where are you going to live?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Father: "And where are you going to get money?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Later that night the mother asked the father: "What do you think of him?"
And the father: "He seems to be a nice guy, he thinks I am God."
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
With Net Neutrality gone I'm finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons
You may laugh now, but you won't be when my pigeon deliver n**... faster than your service provider
The difference between a crow and a raven.
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.
The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...
The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.
Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife
"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
Who's your daddy?
A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."
An atheist in the forest...
stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London...
As they went past the Tower of London the cabbie explained what the building was and provided a brief history. Upon hearing that its construction started in 1346 and was completed in 1412, the Texan stated, "Really? A little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament, and the cabbie again gave a brief history, omitting the construction dates this time. However, being eager to brag, the Texan questioned its construction too. The cabbie replied that it was built in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a month!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent.
"Well? What's that over there?" asked the Texan.
The annoyed cabbie scratches his head and replied "I haven't the foggiest idea, Sir. It wasn't there yesterday!"
Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...
... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.
A group of Soviet tourists takes express-lesson of Italian before departure.
-Write a couple of phrases in Italian - tour guide says - such as: ''How much does lemonade cost?'', ''Where is the pharmacy?''
One of the tourists asks:
-How do I say ''Please, provide me a political asylum''?
-What have you just said? - asks another tourist seriously.
-Nevermind, just wanted to know which one of you is our KGB senior for this trip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a s**... worker does their work entirely online...
... Can they be called an "Internet Service Provider?"
