Provider Jokes

57 provider jokes and hilarious provider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about provider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with this collection of provider jokes! Whether you're laughing at internet providers, daycare providers, healthcare providers, Oxfam, caterers, or manufacturers, these hilarious jokes will leave you giddy. Get your fill of laughter with this collection of provider jokes!

Funniest Provider Short Jokes

Short provider jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The provider humour may include short producer jokes also.

  1. Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
  2. Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
  3. PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
  4. The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.
  5. Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea. Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
  6. Is Google male or female? Female, because it can't let you finish a sentence without providing several suggestions.
  7. I once dated a biologist. I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.
  8. If Lars Ulrich of Metallica provided religious support to kermit and his friends He'd be a pastor of muppets
  9. A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages
    Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?
  10. What does a gay horse eat? A nutritious and balanced diet provided by their owner, you bigots.

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Provider One Liners

Which provider one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with provider? I can suggest the ones about supply and service.

  1. Yo momma is so fat, shes got more "coverage" than my cell phone provider
  2. In terms of money, I'm set for life! Provided I die next Friday
  3. I'm financially set for life ...providing I die next Monday
  4. I prefer cheap brothels. They provide the most bang for your buck.
  5. What type of insurance does a florist provide? Wife insurance
  6. Who provides tech support for Israel? RabbIT
  7. Money-wise I'm set for life, Provided I die next Tuesday
  8. Why can't clay pots provide for their family? They're always getting fired
  9. I buy all of my fish from one store...'s my sole provider.
  10. Always plead idiocy, if you can provide evidence. It's foolproof!
  11. Phone Provider: The next call representative will be available in 10-15 Flute Solos
  12. One man's trash is another man's shart provided that the second man has dyslexia
  13. What email provider do gangsters use? G-mail
  14. What satellite TV provider does ISIS use? Daesh Network
  15. What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free? A not-for-prophet

Service Provider Jokes

Here is a list of funny service provider jokes and even better service provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Thanks to my internet service provider, I was finally able to read a book.... They had an outage
  • If you ever bought or sold a human being... You might be an old person. Or you are an internet service provider conglomerate.
  • The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies... It'll be known as the National Elf Service.
  • Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years? The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.
  • My phone service provider is always wrong about some basic reproductive facts. They're always telling me I'm out of dada, but I'm pretty sure I came out of my mama.
  • Internet providers are expanding to other services
  • My Internet Service Provider is called Hathway.... Their customer service executive called, it was a woman. I asked if her first name is Anne, we laughed and now I have no internet.
  • What's a Russian's favorite service provider? Sprint.
  • What do you call it when a Mexican provides hands-on internet services? Emanuel Labor

Internet Provider Jokes

Here is a list of funny internet provider jokes and even better internet provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How about a game? You provide a random set up and we provide the punchline (PTP?). Most upvoted wins imaginary internet points.
  • What's a pirate's least favorite letter? The one he gets from his internet provider for copyright infringement.
  • What's the most popular internet provider in Canada? EhhT&T
  • Cable provider shut my internet down for illegally downloading movies What an invasion of piracy
  • What are cats favorite Internet Service provider? Comcat.
  • What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir,
    Your internet access has been terminated due to i**... usage.
    Sincerely, your service provider.
  • What is a pirate's LEAST favourite letter? Dear Sir or Ma'am,
    we are cutting your internet connection due to i**... downloading and copyright violations.
    Sincerely, Internet Provider
  • If a s**... worker does their work entirely online... ... Can they be called an "Internet Service Provider?"
Provider joke, If a s**... worker does their work entirely online...

Healthcare Provider Jokes

Here is a list of funny healthcare provider jokes and even better healthcare provider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series? Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.
Provider joke, Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie

Laughter Provider Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about provider you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vendor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make provider pranks.

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
The Internet Provider

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
Your Internet Provider

Did you hear of the guy who could literally master any craft, provided he m**... before learning it?

He was j**... all trades.

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

The Lion with Christian feelings

Once upon a time... there was a m**... walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.
Scared to death, the m**... went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".
After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".

Each year, a lawyer takes his holidays at an out of the way, country hotel.

With each visit, he continues his affair with the hotel owner's daughter.
On his visit this year he finds out she has given birth to twin boys.
Why on earth didn't you tell me? said the astonished lawyer.
You know I would have married you and provided for the babies.
The woman replied, That may be so. But when I told my parents I was pregnant, we talked over the options and decided it was far better to have a couple of b**... in the family than a lawyer".

A couple's young daughter went to college.

After 6 months she happily let them know she was engaged to a student who is studying to be a pastor, and is bringing him home for the holidays.
And after the introductions the father and the boy sat and the father asked: " How old are you?"
Father: "And where are you going to live?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Father: "And where are you going to get money?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Later that night the mother asked the father: "What do you think of him?"
And the father: "He seems to be a nice guy, he thinks I am God."

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."

A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...

She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.

With Net Neutrality gone I'm finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won't be when my pigeon deliver n**... faster than your service provider

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.

The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...

The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.

Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife

"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."

Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.

God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .
Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me
An arm and a leg
….what can I get for a rib?

A man is walking down the street when he is approached by a p**......

... "For $200, I'll perform any act for you," she tells him, "provided that you can describe the act in three words." The man thinks about the offer for less than a moment and gives the woman $200. "OK, tell me what you want me to do, but remember, only in three words," she tells him. The man, who has been quiet throughout the exchange says, "Paint my house."

Provider joke, A man is walking down the street when he is approached by a p**......