In the end, he came around.
Dad and Son are in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs" He says.
While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you".
"You're lying" they retort.
Okay, I'll prove it then, "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"what's the point of fucking one".
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
I was in the living room with my dad when his feet got cold. He told me, "Get my slippers from upstairs". When I went up, I see two of my sister's friends and said, "My dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you."
"You're lying."
"I'll prove it." I said, and shouted, "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"What's the point of fucking one?"
An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl.
He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night.
The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."
The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."
Dad and Son in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs". While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you". "you're lying", OK I will prove it "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"what's the point of fucking one".
if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bill had a broken leg. His friend Nick visits him.
Bill asks Nick, "Can you go get my slippers upstairs?"
Nick goes upstairs to see Bills beautiful daughters on their beds.
Nick says, "Your dad wants me to have sex with you."
They say, "No way! Prove it!"
Nick shouts at Bill, "Both of them?"
Bill shouts, "Yes, both! What's the use of fucking one!?"
A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"
He said "prove it."
So I pushed him off the balcony.
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"
so he holds an all blond convention and randomly picks someone from the crowd. First he asks her what two plus two is. She answers seven, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what ten minus four is. She answers thirteen, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what is five times five is. She answers twenty-five, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!".
so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The priest shakes his head. "No son, you're not." The drunk goes up to the second priest. "I'm Jesus Christ."
The second priest gives the same answer.
The drunk glares at them for a second. "Look I can prove it. Follow me." He leads them to a bar and walks inside. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Jesus Christ, you're here again?!"
Two priests approach the guy that was thrown out. He looks at the first priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest shakes his head.
The guy looks at the second priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The second priest also shakes his head.
"Okay, let me prove it to you." The guy walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back already?"
and see a man whos already had a few drinks. The man walks up to them and says "you know I'm jesus christ". One of the priests replies "I don't think you are son" so the man says right, I'll prove it to you. He walks out of the bar and a few seconds later comes stumbling back in. The barman sees him and shout "jesus christ not you again"
A drunk walks up to a guy. says to him, " I am God."
The guy says," Go away, you are drunk."
"I can prove it to you, if you want" said the drunk.
"O really! Then prove it."
The drunk went up to a door and knocked on it thrice, three times. The door opened, and a woman came out,
"Oh God, not you again. Go away!"
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs an get me slippers?
No bother, he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.
Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both.
Fook off you liar! .
I'll prove it, Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, Both of them, Paddy?
Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?
There's a cop outside who asks him, "What's your name, son?"
The drunk guys answers, "I'm Jesus Christ!"
Cop says, "You are not Jesus Christ. What's your name?"
Drunk guy replies, "I'll prove it. Follow me." The cop follows him back into the bar.
As they enter, the bartender yells, "Jesus Christ! Are you back again?!"
Drunk guys turns to cop and says, "See?"
"I'm Jesus Christ." The drunk says to the first priest.
"No, son, you're not." says the first priest.
The drunk turns to the second priest, and says, "I'm Jesus Christ."
"No, son, you're not." says the second priest.
"Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests.
The bartender takes one look at him and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"
Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.
I even have the certificates to prove it.
His date asks him to impress her. "Well", he says, "I can talk to animals".
"Prove it", she responds.
"Watch this".
The man walks up to a group of ducks.
"What's up, you fucking ducks?"
but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law.
who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello there girls, your dad sent me up here to fuck ya both."
"Fuck off you liar!"
"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fucking one?"
Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.
Mick - How you doing?
Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my fuckin slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.
Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.
He tells 'em - Your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.
They say "Prove it."
Mick shouts "Bob... both of them?"
Bob shouts back "Of course!! Whats the point of fuckin one?"
"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.
got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books
Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.
Mick- "How you doin?"
Bob- "Fine. Hey do me a favor, go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are freezing."
Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 19 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.
He says- your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.
They say "prove it"
Mick shouts downstairs "Bob.., both of them?"
Bob shouts back "of course!! Whats the point of fucking one!?"
They went black and now they are going back.
Two men are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "That window is magic. To prove it, I'll jump out." He jumps, much to the other man's horror, and plummets 20 floors only to stop and float gently back up. "Amazing, huh? Why don't you try?" The other man is dubious, but eventually decides to jump. He plummets 30 floors and smacks into the pavement. The first man is in hysterics. "You know," says the bartender, "you're a real prick when you're drunk, Superman."
The body of Christ is a cracker.
Me [to duck]: "Hello you fucking duck"
They said chivalry is dead so I wanted to prove them wrong. I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "Asshole, I'm peeing in here!"
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