prove it Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious prove it puns

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat!

In the end, he came around.

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My dad told me I should fuck both of you.

Dad and Son are in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs" He says.

While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you".

"You're lying" they retort.

Okay, I'll prove it then, "Dad, did you say both of them?"

"what's the point of fucking one".

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A paralyzed man says to his friend, Go upstairs and get my shoes. My feet are cold

The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.

He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.

One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!

The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?

The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!

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I was in the living room with my dad

I was in the living room with my dad when his feet got cold. He told me, "Get my slippers from upstairs". When I went up, I see two of my sister's friends and said, "My dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you."

"You're lying."

"I'll prove it." I said, and shouted, "Dad, did you say both of them?"

"What's the point of fucking one?"

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Sex could be fatal...

An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl.

He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night.

The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."

The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."

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My dad told me I should fuck both of you.

Dad and Son in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs". While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you". "you're lying", OK I will prove it "Dad, did you say both of them?"

"what's the point of fucking one".

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Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year just proves that men are better than women at everything, including being a woman

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Trump's wives were immigrants, proving the adage true...

Immigrants do the jobs Americans don't want to do.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money

if you can prove that you don't need it.

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Incorrect usage of the word 'Fuckin'

Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick - How you doing?

Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.

Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.

He tells 'em - Your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.

They say "Prove it."

Mick shouts "Bob... both of them?"

Bob shouts back "Of course!! Whats the point of fuckin one?"

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Broken Leg

Bill had a broken leg. His friend Nick visits him.

Bill asks Nick, "Can you go get my slippers upstairs?"

Nick goes upstairs to see Bills beautiful daughters on their beds.

Nick says, "Your dad wants me to have sex with you."

They say, "No way! Prove it!"

Nick shouts at Bill, "Both of them?"

Bill shouts, "Yes, both! What's the use of fucking one!?"

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A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests...

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

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I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables...

He said "prove it."

So I pushed him off the balcony.

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Slip of the Tongue

Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"

Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."

Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"

Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"

Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"

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A scientist is trying to prove that all blonds are stupid

so he holds an all blond convention and randomly picks someone from the crowd. First he asks her what two plus two is. She answers seven, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what ten minus four is. She answers thirteen, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what is five times five is. She answers twenty-five, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!".

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A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than sex...

so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?

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Female hormones in a beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

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A drunk walks up to two priests.

He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The priest shakes his head. "No son, you're not." The drunk goes up to the second priest. "I'm Jesus Christ."

The second priest gives the same answer.

The drunk glares at them for a second. "Look I can prove it. Follow me." He leads them to a bar and walks inside. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Jesus Christ, you're here again?!"

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A guy gets thrown out of a bar.

Two priests approach the guy that was thrown out. He looks at the first priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest shakes his head.

The guy looks at the second priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The second priest also shakes his head.

"Okay, let me prove it to you." The guy walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back already?"

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Three priests walk into a bar

and see a man whos already had a few drinks. The man walks up to them and says "you know I'm jesus christ". One of the priests replies "I don't think you are son" so the man says right, I'll prove it to you. He walks out of the bar and a few seconds later comes stumbling back in. The barman sees him and shout "jesus christ not you again"

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A drunk walks up to a guy...

A drunk walks up to a guy. says to him, " I am God."

The guy says," Go away, you are drunk."

"I can prove it to you, if you want" said the drunk.

"O really! Then prove it."

The drunk went up to a door and knocked on it thrice, three times. The door opened, and a woman came out,

"Oh God, not you again. Go away!"

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I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong.

Now I stand corrected.

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Both of them?

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs an get me slippers?

No bother, he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both.

Fook off you liar! .

I'll prove it, Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, Both of them, Paddy?

Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?

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A drunk guy walks out of a bar

There's a cop outside who asks him, "What's your name, son?"
The drunk guys answers, "I'm Jesus Christ!"
Cop says, "You are not Jesus Christ. What's your name?"
Drunk guy replies, "I'll prove it. Follow me." The cop follows him back into the bar.
As they enter, the bartender yells, "Jesus Christ! Are you back again?!"
Drunk guys turns to cop and says, "See?"

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Flat Earthers

It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

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Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

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A drunk man staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests.

"I'm Jesus Christ." The drunk says to the first priest.

"No, son, you're not." says the first priest.

The drunk turns to the second priest, and says, "I'm Jesus Christ."

"No, son, you're not." says the second priest.

"Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests.

The bartender takes one look at him and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

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How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

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I am a professional counterfeiter.

I even have the certificates to prove it.

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A man and his date are walking in the park

His date asks him to impress her. "Well", he says, "I can talk to animals".

"Prove it", she responds.

"Watch this".

The man walks up to a group of ducks.

"What's up, you fucking ducks?"

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Some people say I have my mom's eyes...

but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law.

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Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy,

who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"

"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.

"Hello there girls, your dad sent me up here to fuck ya both."

"Fuck off you liar!"

"I'll prove it," Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"

"Of course, what's the use of fucking one?"

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Mick visits Bob...

Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick - How you doing?

Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my fuckin slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.

Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.

He tells 'em - Your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.

They say "Prove it."

Mick shouts "Bob... both of them?"

Bob shouts back "Of course!! Whats the point of fuckin one?"

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"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.

"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.

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got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky

got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books

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What are the most funny Prove It jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Prove It? Well, here are the best Prove It dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Prove It pick up lines to share with friends.

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