Proton Jokes

Read hilarious jokes involving protons, electrons, hydrogen, leptons, and anions! Learn why the subatomic particles are so important in the universe and laugh at the same time.

Ridiculous Proton Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

I saw a doctor's office that does proton therapy.

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

A proton walks into a bar...

jk protons can't walk

Overheard in the nucleus…

Q: Are you sure you're a proton?

A: Yes, I'm positive.

I used to be a halogen

Then I took a proton to the Ne.

jokes about proton

Do you have 11 protons?

Because you are sodium fine :p

Do you have 11 protons?

Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine...

What did the two up quarks in a proton say to the thrid?

Oh yeah, thanks

Proton joke, What did the two up quarks in a proton say to the thrid?

A proton, an electron, & a neutron walk into a bar...

...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait...for you, no charge..."

thank you, I'm here all week...

You must have 11 protons

Because you're sodium cute

Have you seen a proton lying around?

I'm sure I hadron somewhere.

I am a proton held at rest next to a plate with a high positive charge in a uniform electric field

I have a lot of potential but I'm not doing any work.

You can explore proton anion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean proton lager dad jokes. There are also proton puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.

The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?"

The proton replies "I'm positive."

Did you hear about the electron going through an existential crisis?

It thought maybe it was a proton, but it wasn't positive.

What does electron and proton say when they go to war?


What do you call a positive Jimmy?

Jimmy Proton.

What did the proton have for lunch?


Proton joke, What did the proton have for lunch?

A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?"

The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a brief moment, and responds, "My parents died in a car crash."


*Reposting this joke because I originally posted it on the wrong account.*

How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron?

Ex centric

What did the Neutron say to the Proton in the nucleus?

"Thanks for letting me live here free of charge!"

Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron?

So the wedding would be free of charge

A proton walks up to an electron

The proton says, "Why so negative?"

The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me."

Two protons walk into a bar...

And see three electrons in a corner. One turns to the other says they should leave. The other asks him why and he says "I don't like them, the always turn everything so negative".

Do you have 11 protons?

Because you look Sodium fine.

Protons have mass?

I didnt know they were Catholic.

A Proton sits in a bar and orders his 7th drink. The barkeep asks "you sure?"

And the Proton replies
"Yeah man, I just caught my wife cheating, I need to forget...".

A proton and several electrons walk into the bar.

The proton asks, "What did you do last weekend?"

The electron answered, "I ain't did no more of no nothing, not."

Proton joke, A proton and several electrons walk into the bar.

Jimmy Neutron (Split Personalities)

Jimmy Electron, Jimmy Proton and Carl Weiner

I took two protons and two neutrons to my friend's birthday

That's what makes a party cool

A proton walks into the police station.

He says, "Someone stole my electron!"

The police ask, "Are you sure?"

The proton says, "I'm positive!"

What did the protons yell as they rushed into battle?


A proton, an electron and a neutrino walk into a black hole

That's it

A proton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water

The bartender asks "are you sure thats all you want?" to which the proton responds "I'm positive."


An electron and a proton go into a bar.
Proton: "You're round."
Electron: "Are you sure?"
Proton: "I'm positive."

What did the proton say to the electron?

Why do you always got to be so negative?

A few electrons are having a party

When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:

"Bond. Covalent Bond."

A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.

The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.

An edited version of a joke that's been already posted.

A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.

The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, why did you only arrest the proton?

To which one of the officers replied, well you see, the electron kept running around the proton like a madman, so we couldn't know its exact location. And no one can press charges on the neutron.

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter tp be president?

Because they didnt want to Elect Ron

A proton and a neutron walked into a bar.

'Oh no' the proton said, 'I left my wallet in my house'
'Are you sure?' The neutron said.
'I'm positive' said the proton.

An electron is breaking the speed limit going along a motorway...

...when he is pulled over by a Proton. Proton: do you know how fast you were going?
Electron: yes, but now I have no clue as to where I am.

Why was the proton so popular?

It had mass appeal.

Did you know protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Protons, neutrons and electrons

Are the little things that matter.

Protons have mass?

Never knew they were Catholic

Chemistry joke

Proton and neutron were chilling in the nucleus one day, then proton asks neutron: Why you only hangout with me in here instead of electron?

Neutron replies: He was too negative to begin with.

55 protons, 78 neutrons, 55 electrons, 6 croutons.

Cesium salad.

I identify as a proton of Fluorine

I stay positive despite my electronegativity

Did you know protons have mass?

Me neither i didn't know they were Catholic

Size of matter in descending order.

Molecule > Atom > Proton > Quark > x on a mobile ad

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the proton electron puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working proton proton electron piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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