Gather Around for Fun Protestants Jokes and Laughter with Friends
There are three truths in religion:
1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
What do you call a group of rebellious ants?
Protestants
A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.
The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.
Here's a joke for you.
Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope. Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
This last bit translates into some practical advice. If you go fishing, don't bring a Baptist; he'll drink all the beer. But if you bring two of them, you'll have it all to yourself.
There are three religious truths
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
Religion is all about who you DON'T recognize.....
Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
A Lack of Recognition
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.
Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast ...
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast and noticed all the community centre events for either Catholics or Protestants. After checking out yet another board, he asked a staff member:
Atheist: "What do you do in this town if you're an Atheist?"
Staff member: "Well sir, that depends on whether you're a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist."
When Catholics accepted the Pope as their leader, some people were unhappy. They came out on the streets with signs and placards.
I think they were protestants.
How to tell the difference between Jews, Baptists, and Protestants
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the head of the Church
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Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah
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Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.
Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope.
Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.
You can explore protestants holiest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean protestants vatican dad jokes. There are also protestants puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Pope in Hotel
The Pope is on a "business trip".
In the hotel,he asked his secretary if the hotel had a sauna, and the secretary confirmed.
The pope says: "ok, let's go to the sauna."
The secretary is shocked, "Your Holiness, it's a mixed sauna!"
Pope: "Since when are you afraid of Protestants?"
Quentin Crisp Quote
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
THREE RELIGIOUS TRUTHS IN AMERICA, WE CANNOT ESCAPE:
1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3) Baptists AND MORMONS do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at h**....
Do I know you?
Four Great Truths About Religion:
Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
\- Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
\- Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
\- Born-Again Christians do not recognize each other at s**... clubs.
How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland?
By sending in millions of Muslims
Four great religious truths
Muslims don't recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
Jews don's recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
Baptists don't recognize each other at h**....
There are 3 things that all religions can agree on.
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah, Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the head of the Church and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
If Catholics are in a demonstration...
... Are they Protestants?
If baptists are baptized...
does that mean protestants are protested?
Its the Christians vs Muslims football game...
and the Christians score a goal. From his seat in heaven, surrounded by angels, God cheers.
after a while the Muslims score a goal. Again God cheers. The angels are now confused... "Whose side are you on, Lord?", they ask. "Niether", replies God, "I am just enjoying the game."
(modified from Catholics vs Protestants)
How do Protestants like their orange juice?
without Pope
Looking for a joke about religious divisions...
I heard a joke a long time ago about two people who were in the same religion. and they go through the sub-parts of the religion- they're both christians, protestants, lutherans, same synod, etc... but when they get to the smallest possible division - they are in different ones and they get into a big fight, yelling at each other about being apostates. Anyone know how it goes?
I was born a Catholic
Which came as a big surprise to my parents who were both protestants.
Source: Irish actor Michael Redmond (Fr. Stone in Fr. Ted) on 'An Irishman Abroad' podcast.
Jesuits vs Dominicans
What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, they were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits.
They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.
What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, have you met any Albigensians lately?
Heard this from priest and took format from somewhere.
Why are Protestants like birds?
They both have a Diet of Worms
