Protest Jokes

97 protest jokes and hilarious protest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about protest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Protest Short Jokes

Short protest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The protest humour may include short boycott jokes also.

  1. One man in the crowd then yelled Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?
  2. Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
  3. How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.
  4. A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
    What do we want?
    Hearing aids!
    When do we want them?
    Hearing aids!
  5. My boss fired me. "Why?" I protested. "I haven't done anything!"
    Turns out that was his reason.
  6. How do you stop all the protests and riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down
  7. How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Protesters never change anything.
  8. A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable.
  9. All these women marching in protest is so well organized I'd love to talk to the man in charge.
  10. Who did Matthew McConaughey blame in the protests in Charlottesville? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

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Protest One Liners

Which protest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with protest? I can suggest the ones about rally and rebellion.

  1. I counted 1500 lockdown protesters in our city. Hold on, it's 900.
  2. Why did the riot police show up to the protest so early? To beat the crowd
  3. Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd.
  4. Why do police get to protests early? To beat the crowd.
  5. They had a ginger Lives Matter protest today There was not a soul.
  6. What do you call a group of rebellious ants? Protestants
  7. Why don't the police protest against BLM? Because they have jobs.
  8. A man was protesting against gay rights... His reasoning was very straight-forward.
  9. Yo mama so fat... that when she says 'no',
    it's a mass protest.
  10. What did the cop do when he showed up to the protest? Beats me.
  11. Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth? Because plaque lives matter.
  12. I'm really against protesting But I have no way to show it
  13. I saw a guy with no shoes today Couldn't tell if he was homeless or protesting
  14. I saw a bunch of old people protesting outside of Chick-fil-A... They were raising canes.
  15. Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot? It was out of hand.

Protest joke, Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot?

Ridiculous Protest Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about protest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dispute jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make protest pranks.

A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...

The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy

who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste

Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.

It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.

Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment?

It won't get better if you picket it.

When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...

...I guess Canada fears change

How do Protestants like their orange juice?

without Pope

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Enough to protest until the government does it for them

Driving today I kept seeing protest signs.

They all said "End Road Work."

A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for g**..., Jews, b**..., Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."

"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"

An advisor runs up to Trump and says "Sir, the people are revolting!",...

So Donald looks down from his 58th story office window at the protest on his doorstep. With his arms crossed in disgust he says:
"They sure are!"

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

Was out on the trusty steed this evening, riding through the woods...

Suddenly we came to a stop and he began to nibble on some weeds. I decided not to protest until I realized he was eating what appeared to be a p**... plant. He began to wobble a little and I couldn't help but think, I probably need to get off my high horse.

I'm against protesting...

But I don't know how to show it.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

0, they'll just protest and hope someone else changes it to one they like.

I think these protesters are sending the wrong message...

because they keep telling me to Love Trump's Hate.

Today I went to the protest

The protesters aren't going to mace themselves

The man who has set himself on fire during a protest has died of his injuries.

His cremation will be continued next week.

The "A Day Without A Woman" protest was today...?

Everything was so quiet, I must've slept through it.

I am vehemently opposed to protest!

But, I'm not sure how to show it.

The power of Pepsi

So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"

I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...

I didn't pick it well.

Bono has released a protest song against Google

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Did you hear about the doctors' protest?

We don't know what it was about, nobody could read their signs.

Apparently, there is a protest today in favor of d**... s**....

Now that's a protest I can get behind.

Protests on TV are demanding diversity, same s**... relationships, gender free norms, free healthcare, cultural enrichment, free education, drugs, income equality - I found the perfect place that has all this for them.


You what's the best thing about being an Antifa protestor?

You never have to take off work to go to a protest

Protests have erupted in the streets and protestors are throwing pumpkins at police officers

They're going to have to call in the National Gourd

What do you call it when all the pieces on the Chess Board go on Strike??

A Piece-ful Protest.

A protester who shouted "Donald Trump is a m**...!" in front of the White House was arrested by the secret service and given 25 years in prison.

5 years for defamation, the court had announced, and an additional 20 years for leaking top-secret information.

Did you hear about the protest from the sewer dwellers?

They were revolting.

I saw a deaf rights protest the other day; I had never heard of such a thing before.

Neither have they.

Australian homophobes were up in arms after the country legalized gay marriage recently

They held a rally to protest with their spouses, walking down the roads chanting " Thats not a woife...this is a woife."

A Protestant and a Catholic are sitting in a pub

A Protestant and a Catholic are sitting in a pub talking about birth control.
The Protestant says to the Catholic, "My religion allows me to use a c**... when I make love to my wife but yours does not. Yet I've got 14 children and you have only 2. How can this be?"
The Catholic replies, "It's quite simple, I have s**... during the safe times of the day."
"And when is that ?" asks the Protestant.
"When you're at work." replies the Catholic.

I saw the strangest protest sign driving to work today

I know all the construction can be inconvenient but seriously, End Road Work ?
Happy Father's Day everyone!

Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.

One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a w**... nearby so all the roads were blocked."
Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his v**... rhetoric. "Simmer down, you s**...", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."

I don't have a Protestant work ethic...

I have the Catholic work ethic; in that I don't work... but I do feel very guilty about it.

I've seen 'End Road Work' signs all over the place since I was a kid...

I don't think the protest is working.

A women at a women's right protest got mad at me because I told her that women sometimes can't do the jobs that men can do

She then got her boyfriend to beat me up

A man kneeled in protest as the hymn played...

...but no one at church seemed to mind.

Did you hear that Republicans finally found an appropriate movement to protest Coronavirus?

It's called The No Lives Matter Movement.

How many Westboro Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

30. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and 29 to protest it for being brighter than they are.

India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.

What should protesters ride to get back home from the BLM protests?

A cab

I'm against protesting

I'm just not sure how to show it.

A protestor walks into a bar

Or so the police claim.

Some people say:' why don't they protest peacefully?'

And then here comes this guy: 'why don't they just do a Zoom protest? '.

I tried to create an organization for dads to protest drunk driving

But it was just a FADD.

What are protests by transgender little people called?


What's the opposite of Protest?

Whats the opposite of Progress?

What do the protesters season their food with?

Assault and pepper spray.

A protestor wearing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt walks into a bar

The bartender asks what will you have. The protestor replies only ice . The bartender looks at him with a very confused look and says sorry did you say you only wanted ice? The protester says that's right - just ice.

Just heard there's a protest in London tomorrow by cake decorators

Just heard there's a protest in London tomorrow by cake decorators
Hundreds and thousands are expected to turn up

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

A cop walks into a protest

A cop walks into a protest and is immediately called racist.
He says, "I'm not racist! My wife has a black eye!"

I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.

We are Anti-Pho

I don't understand why people have a problem with corona protest demonstrations.

Shouldn't everyone be pro testing?

What did the cows write on their protest signs when the farmer made them social distance due to COVID?

We just want to be herd.

My wife pulled into the driveway and excitedly told me "Honey, you'll never guess who I ran into at the protest today!"

I said I couldn't possibly guess, who?
"I don't know either, we'll have to watch the news to find out. Now please help me hose the blood off our truck!"

Some protestors are breaking into congress

I hear it is a capitol offense

Why were there so few capitol police during Jan 6th riots?

Well you can't make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!

What do protestors and people with big noses have in common?

They both know how to picket.

I got on a plane the other day. As we were about to depart, a pro-life group ran out on the runway in protest.

Ironically, the pilot had to abort the takeoff.
Which brings a question to mind…. When does flight truly begin? Boarding? Taxiing? Takeoff? Some would have you believe it's not a flight yet even during final descent.

Ivan from Russia went to an anti-war protest in St. Petersburg carrying a sign that said: Putin is insane!

So, the courts sentenced him 22 years in prison. 2 years for treason, 20 years for giving away an official state secret.

Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog

Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's b**.... The dog howls in pain, l**... off the mustard from his b**..., whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"

Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.

An american and a russian both praise their homeland.
\- Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
The american says:
\-Now look, I could go right now in front of the white house and hold a protest against president Biden and nothing would happen to me.
\-My friend, it is exactly the same in Russia. The red square is open to all those who wish to protest against president Biden.

I went to a protest for trees the other day.

I saw a sign that said Bark Lives Matter.

Eco-activists, as a protest, splashed paint on a famous Jackson p**... painting

No-one noticed.

Protest joke, Eco-activists, as a protest, splashed paint on a famous Jackson p**... painting

jokes about protest