Protest Jokes
97 protest jokes and hilarious protest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about protest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Protest Short Jokes
Short protest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The protest humour may include short rally jokes also.
- One man in the crowd then yelled Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?
- Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
What do we want?
Hearing aids!
When do we want them?
Hearing aids! - My boss fired me. "Why?" I protested. "I haven't done anything!"
Turns out that was his reason. - How do you stop all the protests and riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down
- All these women marching in protest is so well organized I'd love to talk to the man in charge.
- Who did Matthew McConaughey blame in the protests in Charlottesville? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
- What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters? White noise
- The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season. The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"
- inspired by frontpage's TIL about the guy fawkes mask: how many occupy protesters does it take to change a lightbulb? none, occupy protesters can't change anything.
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Protest One Liners
Which protest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with protest? I can suggest the ones about rebellion and dispute.
- I counted 1500 lockdown protesters in our city. Hold on, it's 900.
- They had a ginger Lives Matter protest today There was not a soul.
- What do you call a group of rebellious ants? Protestants
- Why don't the police protest against BLM? Because they have jobs.
- A man was protesting against gay rights... His reasoning was very straight-forward.
- What did the cop do when he showed up to the protest? Beats me.
- Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth? Because plaque lives matter.
- I'm really against protesting But I have no way to show it
- I saw a guy with no shoes today Couldn't tell if he was homeless or protesting
- Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot? It was out of hand.
- What's the opposite of Protest? Contest.
Whats the opposite of Progress? - What is the religion of people in hong kong? Protestant.
- I went to a protest for trees the other day. I saw a sign that said Bark Lives Matter.
- What do you call it when your intestines start protesting? A bowel movement.
- How do you stop the protests in Charlotte? Sing the nation anthem they will sit down
Ridiculous Protest Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about protest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean picket jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make protest pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wife and I had been kept awake by the couple in the apartment below because their bed was squeaking while they had s**....
We banged hard on the floor in protest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy
who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard Protest Churches can travel faster than light...
... since they have no Mass.
What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?
Na 'ma ste
Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.
It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.
Did you hear about the curbs going on strike?
They're lining the streets in protest
Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?
He's not a fan of juvenile plots.
Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment?
It won't get better if you picket it.
When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...
...I guess Canada fears change
How do Protestants like their orange juice?
without Pope
How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Enough to protest until the government does it for them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A shabby looking Nun walks into a bar...
The barman takes one look at her, pulls out a shotgun and gives her both in the chest...
Aghast, I protest "Christ!? What the h**...'dya do that for?!"
With a look of regret he turns to me and whispers
"...bad habit."
Driving today I kept seeing protest signs.
They all said "End Road Work."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for g**..., Jews, b**..., Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."
"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"
An advisor runs up to Trump and says "Sir, the people are revolting!",...
So Donald looks down from his 58th story office window at the protest on his doorstep. With his arms crossed in disgust he says:
"They sure are!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?
8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.
Ordered a sandwich..
And I asked for a liberal amount of bacon. The employee cried, set the sandwich on fire, then went outside to protest.
I need to learn to be careful using the word liberal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Was out on the trusty steed this evening, riding through the woods...
Suddenly we came to a stop and he began to nibble on some weeds. I decided not to protest until I realized he was eating what appeared to be a p**... plant. He began to wobble a little and I couldn't help but think, I probably need to get off my high horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The women protest movement this weekend was historical.
I've never seen so many women have p**... on the same day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
0, they'll just protest and hope someone else changes it to one they like.
I think these protesters are sending the wrong message...
because they keep telling me to Love Trump's Hate.
Today I went to the protest
The protesters aren't going to mace themselves
The man who has set himself on fire during a protest has died of his injuries.
His cremation will be continued next week.
The "A Day Without A Woman" protest was today...?
Everything was so quiet, I must've slept through it.
A black man attended a protest against fossil fuels...
And got six global warming shots in his back.
I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...
I didn't pick it well.
Bono has released a protest song against Google
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Did you hear about the doctors' protest?
We don't know what it was about, nobody could read their signs.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently, there is a protest today in favor of d**... s**....
Now that's a protest I can get behind.
What do you call white riot
A protest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Protests on TV are demanding diversity, same s**... relationships, gender free norms, free healthcare, cultural enrichment, free education, drugs, income equality - I found the perfect place that has all this for them.
Prison.
You what's the best thing about being an Antifa protestor?
You never have to take off work to go to a protest
Protests have erupted in the streets and protestors are throwing pumpkins at police officers
They're going to have to call in the National Gourd
What do you call it when all the pieces on the Chess Board go on Strike??
A Piece-ful Protest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A protester who shouted "Donald Trump is a m**...!" in front of the White House was arrested by the secret service and given 25 years in prison.
5 years for defamation, the court had announced, and an additional 20 years for leaking top-secret information.
Did you hear about the protest from the sewer dwellers?
They were revolting.
I saw a deaf rights protest the other day; I had never heard of such a thing before.
Neither have they.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Protestant and a Catholic are sitting in a pub
A Protestant and a Catholic are sitting in a pub talking about birth control.
The Protestant says to the Catholic, "My religion allows me to use a c**... when I make love to my wife but yours does not. Yet I've got 14 children and you have only 2. How can this be?"
The Catholic replies, "It's quite simple, I have s**... during the safe times of the day."
"And when is that ?" asks the Protestant.
"When you're at work." replies the Catholic.
I saw the strangest protest sign driving to work today
I know all the construction can be inconvenient but seriously, End Road Work ?
Happy Father's Day everyone!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.
One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a w**... nearby so all the roads were blocked."
Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his v**... rhetoric. "Simmer down, you s**...", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."
I don't have a Protestant work ethic...
I have the Catholic work ethic; in that I don't work... but I do feel very guilty about it.
I've seen 'End Road Work' signs all over the place since I was a kid...
I don't think the protest is working.
A women at a women's right protest got mad at me because I told her that women sometimes can't do the jobs that men can do
She then got her boyfriend to beat me up
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
w**... Nelson is doing a concert for Beto O'Rourke
Some fans are burning their m**... in protest.
A man kneeled in protest as the hymn played...
...but no one at church seemed to mind.
Did you hear that Republicans finally found an appropriate movement to protest Coronavirus?
It's called The No Lives Matter Movement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
What should protesters ride to get back home from the BLM protests?
A cab
A protestor walks into a bar
Or so the police claim.
Some people say:' why don't they protest peacefully?'
And then here comes this guy: 'why don't they just do a Zoom protest? '.
I tried to create an organization for dads to protest drunk driving
But it was just a FADD.
What are protests by transgender little people called?
Microtransactions
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A protestor saw me in London today and decided to throw a squeezy bottle of mayo at me...
... I yelled at him "What the h**...-Man!!!"
What do the protesters season their food with?
Assault and pepper spray.
A protestor wearing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt walks into a bar
The bartender asks what will you have. The protestor replies only ice . The bartender looks at him with a very confused look and says sorry did you say you only wanted ice? The protester says that's right - just ice.
Vera Lynn used to work at an Arctic research station. She wrote a protest song about the lack of variety in the staff canteen.
Whale meat again?
Just heard there's a protest in London tomorrow by cake decorators
Just heard there's a protest in London tomorrow by cake decorators
Hundreds and thousands are expected to turn up
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!
A cop walks into a protest
A cop walks into a protest and is immediately called racist.
He says, "I'm not racist! My wife has a black eye!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.
We are Anti-Pho
I don't understand why people have a problem with corona protest demonstrations.
Shouldn't everyone be pro testing?
What did the cows write on their protest signs when the farmer made them social distance due to COVID?
We just want to be herd.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife pulled into the driveway and excitedly told me "Honey, you'll never guess who I ran into at the protest today!"
I said I couldn't possibly guess, who?
"I don't know either, we'll have to watch the news to find out. Now please help me hose the blood off our truck!"
Some protestors are breaking into congress
I hear it is a capitol offense
Why were there so few capitol police during Jan 6th riots?
Well you can't make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!
I got on a plane the other day. As we were about to depart, a pro-life group ran out on the runway in protest.
Ironically, the pilot had to abort the takeoff.
Which brings a question to mind…. When does flight truly begin? Boarding? Taxiing? Takeoff? Some would have you believe it's not a flight yet even during final descent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ivan from Russia went to an anti-war protest in St. Petersburg carrying a sign that said: Putin is insane!
So, the courts sentenced him 22 years in prison. 2 years for treason, 20 years for giving away an official state secret.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog
Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's b**.... The dog howls in pain, l**... off the mustard from his b**..., whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"
Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
An american and a russian both praise their homeland.
\- Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
The american says:
\-Now look, I could go right now in front of the white house and hold a protest against president Biden and nothing would happen to me.
\-My friend, it is exactly the same in Russia. The red square is open to all those who wish to protest against president Biden.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Eco-activists, as a protest, splashed paint on a famous Jackson p**... painting
No-one noticed.
