protects Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious protects puns

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.

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The Govenment made a recent announcement.....

.......that it is changing the national flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you're actually being fucked!!

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TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived.

Apparently it protects against harmful rays.

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The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

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I called my girlfriend's mini skirt a fence

Protects the property but doesn't spoil the view

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A young Arab boy asks his father What is that strange hat you are wearing?



The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing? asked the boy.

Oh, my son! exclaimed the father It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body."

The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?

"These are 'babouches' my son, the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet."

"So tell me then," added the boy.

"Yes, my son…

"Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?

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A young muslim boy asks his dad " what are you wearing on your head?"



The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing? asked the boy.

Oh, my son! exclaimed the father It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body."

The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?

"These are 'babouches' my son, the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet."

Son asks " what is that black tent mom and sister are wearing ?"

Father :" It's called a burkha , it helps the hot desert sand from hitting the face during a sandstorm" .

"So tell me then," added the boy.

"Yes, my son…

"Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?

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Did you know Steve Irwin would still be alive if he wore sunscreen?

It protects from deadly rays.

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What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common?

One protects all colors.

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A young Arab asks his father

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in Dearborn , Michigan and still wearing all this shit?"

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A young Arab boy asks his father...

A young Arab boy asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet from hot sand in the desert."

"So tell me then," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in Dearborn, Michigan, and still wearing all this shit?

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I just got condoms installed on my floor today

it protects the hardwood.

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If Steve Irwin the crocodile hunter was wearing sunscreen that day he would still be alive

Sunscreen protects against harmful rays

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A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

Dad: "A man is someone who loves you unconditionally , cares about you and protects you!"

Child: "Oh okay! When i grow up, I want to be a man just like mom!"

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TIL that koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.

The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.

Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.

Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.

And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.

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My brother recently got a pocket protector

All of his friends laughed at it, but I was amazed. It's such a bargain, because not only does it protect the content of your pockets, but it also protects your virginity.

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What do you call an indigenous man who is polite, respectful and protects his woman?

A Gentle mayan.

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What do you call someone who protects a young girls virginity?

A poon-nanny

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Steve Irwin would have survived if he was wearing sun screen

It protects against harmful rays

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What do you call a tree that protects Gotham City?

Spruce Wayne

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Three kids are bragging about what their fathers do

The first says proudly, "My father is a policeman and he protects people."
The second says equally proudly, "My father is a fireman and he saves people."

The third looks triumphant when he exclaims, "My father eats lightbulbs."

The other two look at him doubtfully, but he continues, "I swear, because last night I walked by his bedroom door and I heard him tell my mother that if she put out the light, then he'd eat it."

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We live in a generation where Gorilla Glass technology protects our phones..

..yet there's nothing that exists that could have saved Harambe.

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God protects drunks and fools

Because smart people don't believe in him.

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Research reveals that being married protects you from health risks such as high blood pressure, cholesterol and heart disease.

Whereas being single protects you from being married.

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What has 100 teeth and protects a beast.

A zipper

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What do you call something that protects your fucking cock during sex?

A condom

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Who protects the pope's food?

The Swiss Chard

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What protects Austrians from malicious Internet traffic?

The firewaltz.

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What had 100 teeth and protects a monster?

My zipper

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Mathematicians have a guardian angle....

I heard it protects them from acute pain and obtuse people.

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What are the most funny Protects jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Protects? Well, here are the best Protects dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Protects pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes