Protective Jokes
50 protective jokes and hilarious protective puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about protective that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Protective Short Jokes
Short protective jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The protective humour may include short protection jokes also.
- Why do koi fish travel in groups of four? To protect the group from predators. When attacked, kois A, B, and C will go in one direction. The fourth one is the D koi.
- Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoe to protect his feet from the ground...
He wears them to protect the ground from his feet - I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus... It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
- How do you stop Jehovah Witnesses from coming to your door? Going into jehovah witness Protection.
- TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand. Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
- TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays.
- A father and his son are visited by the Child Protective Services. The agent asks the son, "Do you know why we are visiting you today?" The son thought a bit and replied: "Beats Me"
- What should Steve Irwin worn the day he died? Sunscreen. Know why..?
Because it protects you from harmful rays. - What do American police have in common with American Congress? They only serve and protect corporate interests.
- Just had a Jehovah's Witness come to the door and ask if I had found Jesus yet. I said no, isn't he under the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program?
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Protective One Liners
Which protective one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with protective? I can suggest the ones about supportive and use protection.
- Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled? It didn't protect him from harmful rays
- In a way, good friends are like condoms... ...they protect you when things get hard.
- Bad luck Steve Irwin. Puts on sunblock.
Doesn't protect against harmful rays. - Why does Steve Irwin hate sunblock? It doesn't protect from harmful rays
- Tampax has been protecting women for 80 years. That's quite a long period.
- What does a drunk police officer do? Protect and swerve.
- You know, not all Italians are in the mafia. Some are in the Witness Protection Program.
- How do you protect your valuables from an accordionist? Hide them in an old folk song.
- How do you protect your accordion from being stolen? Put it in a guitar case.
- What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common? One protects all colors.
- Why did the bee wear a helmet on the first day of spring? To protect its buzz-y head!
- Whenever I have a one night stand,I alweys use protection. A fake name and a fake number.
- For all you ladies who didn't use protection this weekend Happy Mother's Day!
- What is 1 + 1? 3 if you don't use protection.
- If skunks didn't have their protective smell... They would go ex-stinked.
Protective Layer Jokes
Here is a list of funny protective layer jokes and even better protective layer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I read about how in ancient Rome gladiators had a layer of fat to protect them in combat. I'm gonna start telling people I have the body of a gladiator.
- I love my 6-pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat.
- I firmly believe in taking care of one's body... That's why I protect mine in a thick layer of fat.
- My abs are so perfect... ...that i keep them safe and sound under a protective layer of beer belly.
- I like my 6 pack so much.... I protected it in a layer of fat
Protective Gear Jokes
Here is a list of funny protective gear jokes and even better protective gear puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear. It was an interesting case study.
- Trump's new EPA chief just released a slight tweak to the EPA mission statement The EPA is now switching gears from protecting the environment to protecting us from the environment.
- What do you call a black kneecap protection? A knee gear
Happy Protective Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about protective you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cautious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make protective pranks.
Pregnant girlfriend
Guy: Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection, and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. To scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy: Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion.
Doctor: Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat died.
In heaven they faced God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master".
"Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master".
"Aha,you may sit on my left" said God.
Then God looked at the cat and said" and what do you believe in"?
The cat replied " I believe you are sitting in my seat".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....
A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.
In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.
Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.
Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.
Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?
I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.
A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"
The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."
Koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.
The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.
Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.
Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.
And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the best form of protection when you don't have a c**...?
A fake name
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.
So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".
Wife asks god for a better husband
Wife: Dear God , I wish you could make my husband pay more attention to me, protect me, take me out, sleep close to me at night.
I wish he would be more caring even if I got the smallest of scratches.
God then turned her into a smartphone.
Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.
She clearly isn't a fan of protection
American teachers are now going to be armed with pistols for protection.
Librarians will be issued silencers.
