Prosthetic Jokes

86 prosthetic jokes and hilarious prosthetic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prosthetic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Prosthetic Short Jokes

Short prosthetic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prosthetic humour may include short surgical jokes also.

  1. You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
    Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
    Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
    Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
  2. A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store. He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
    The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?"
  3. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.
  4. My kid is an amputee. For xmas I got her a new prosthetic leg. It's just a stocking filler
  5. I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands "Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
    "We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
    "All right then."
  6. I'm getting my wife a new prosthetic leg for Christmas. It's not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.
  7. I got the wife a prosthetic leg for christmas It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler
  8. As an amputee, I asked the doctor how much prosthetic limbs would cost. He said an arm and a leg.
  9. A paraplegic got prosthetic legs for a single day before they broke. He had a one night stand.
  10. What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
    A small arms dealer.

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Prosthetic One Liners

Which prosthetic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prosthetic? I can suggest the ones about robotic and artificial.

  1. I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Xmas It's just a stocking filler.
  2. Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion? Anyone can pull them off
  3. What do you call someone who sells prosthetics to the military? An arms dealer.
  4. I sell prosthetics to midgets who are amputees... I'm a small arms dealer.
  5. What do you call a person who sells prosthetics and guns? An arms dealer
  6. I sell prosthetics for children... I'm a small arms dealer
  7. Prosthetics are getting so expensive these days. They'll cost you an arm and a leg.
  8. Never stare at a dog with a prosthetic foot...'s a faux paw.
  9. I've got a prosthetic leg. I just hope it's previous owner got home okay.
  10. Where do amputees get prosthetics on a budget? The Secondhand store.
  11. A double amputee walks into a Communist prosthetic's shop and says... Two arms, Comrade.
  12. What do you call a prosthetic used in exchage for your missing leg. A stubstitute
  13. I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand
  14. There's a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street. He's an arms dealer.
  15. Captain Hook ordered a new prosthetic hand online. It was off the hook

Prosthetic Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny prosthetic leg jokes and even better prosthetic leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got arrested for robbing a prosthetic store. I decided to fight the charges. The way I see it, they don't have a leg to stand on.
  • "My wife lost both her prosthetic legs in Indonesia." "Jakarta?" "No we managed to get her a wheelchair"
  • I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Christmas It's a great stocking-filler.
  • Did you hear about how much those new prosthetic limbs cost? An arm and a leg.
  • I've finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a stand-up comedian Thank you prosthetic legs!
  • I heard about this place that replaces your limbs with prosthetics... But it'll cost you an arm and a leg!
  • The airline lost my prosthetic leg To make matters worse, a baggage handler dropped a heavy suitcase on my foot... I wanted to sue the airline, but my lawyer said I didnt have a leg to stand on.
  • I'm beginning to regret getting all those prosthetic limbs... It cost me an arm and a leg!
  • Prosthetics are so expensive... They cost me an arm and a leg
  • What did the man with no legs say at a prosthetics fundraiser? "Finally, a cause I can stand for!"

Prosthetic Arm Jokes

Here is a list of funny prosthetic arm jokes and even better prosthetic arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So what do you do? *I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
    So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
    *I prefer international arms dealer.*
  • I have at last fulfilled my dream of becoming arms dealer... ... by selling 3D printed prosthetic limbs for the needy.
  • My friend runs a very successful business making prosthetic limbs and exporting them worldwide. He is an International Arms dealer.
  • Not sure about this new job offer for prosthetics sales representatives... I don't want to be involved in arms dealing.
  • I want to start selling arm prosthetics globally Because then I'll be an international arms dealer.
  • The prosthetic maker has been kidnapped by a group of thugs We managed to get him back, but the ransom was an arm and a leg!
  • My friend is a keen poker player He recently lost his arm in a car accident - They've given him a prosthetic but he's finding it really hard to deal with.
  • Did you hear about the amputee who escaped the hospital after being fitted with his prosthetics? You might want to watch out. News reports claim that he is armed and dangerous
  • I tried getting some prosthetic limbs the other day But they cost an arm and a leg.
  • What do you call a prosthetic arm for a dog? Faux paw.
Prosthetic joke, What do you call a prosthetic arm for a dog?

Prosthetic joke, What do you call a prosthetic arm for a dog?

Fun-Filled Prosthetic Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about prosthetic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean implants jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prosthetic pranks.

I lost both my legs below the knee in an accident...

... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.
In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.

So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...

And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs.
"Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."

Did you hear about the amazing new prosthetic device for paraplegics?

It's called a Vegetable Stand.

There was a father and son..

The father is a war veteran. He also has a prosthetic leg. One day, his son asks..
"Dad, did you ever get shot in the army?"
The father responds, "No, I got shot in the leggy"

Did you hear about the guy who had his knee replaced with a Magic 8-Ball?

He had a prophetic prosthetic.

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.
He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

My used store for prosthetics will be called

The Second Hand, Second Hand Store

I guess if your dog had prosthetic feet...

They'd be going through many paws

Look Ma! No hands!

d**... Jimmy those prosthetics were expensive!

What do you call trendy internal prosthetics?

Hip implants

A wealthy woman had lost her right hand and left foot in a car accident.

Her doctor told her that he would have her new prosthetics ready the next day. She sent her servant to go pick them up from the hospital. The servant was a couple hours early. The servant waited on her hand and foot.

Imagine a pirate with a prosthetic breast.

That'd be funny, wooden t**...

Old Man Jack married an old maid

Life had been hard on old Ethel. But they were truly in love, and their families agreed it was best for them to live out their final days in joy.
On their wedding night, Jack lay on the bed and watched his new bride undress.
She took out her glass eye and placed it in a velvet case.
Next, she removed her false teeth and put them in a glass of water.
Taking off her wig, she placed it on a small bust on the dresser.
She removed her prosthetic leg, and stood it beside the chair.
Jack finally spoke: "When you get to the part I'm waiting for, just toss it over."

After Sherlock Holmes received an amputation below the ankle, why did he call his new prosthetic "The Game?"

Because, my dear Watson, The Game is a foot

A Pirate was offered a prosthetic in place of his eye patch...

The doctor asked, "I made this prosthetic eye out of oak wood to replace your eye patch. Would you like to try it?"
The pirate replied, "Would I?!"

A guy and a girl are set up on a blind date…

… despite some apprehension they both hit it off and agree to a second date.
Date two comes and there's even more fireworks, ending with a kiss goodnight.
Finally, a third date comes and at the end she invites him inside to spend the night.
As they're fooling around, she says If we're going to go to bed together, theres probably something you should know. When I was a little girl I was in an accident and I lost both my feet, so both my feet are prosthetic .
Slightly taken aback, the guy says I'm really sorry, I like you a lot. But if that's the case we can't be together .
Obviously very upset, she asks Why?! Are you a bigot or something?!
No he replies I'm lack-toes intolerant .

So this guy lost his right foot in an accident

Lucky for him, he got a great prosthetic, so nobody knew he's wearing a prosthetic foot.
Some years later he met a girl, but didn't tell her about his 'disability'. They got married and on wedding night, he took off his prosthetic foot to show his new bride.
Horrified, she straight called her mom.
"Mum, you wouldn't believe it. He only got one foot!"
The mum then yelled back at her "g**... child, be grateful! Your dad is only six inches!"

I once amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a prosthetic made from a breath mint.

I gave him a Tic Tac toe.

This high school guys was born without one of his eyes.

He was given a wooden eye as a prosthetic. His whole life he has been self concious about his wooden eye.
Eventually senior prom rolls around and he want to take someone out.
He sees a girls with a hair-lip. Thinking that she may also be self concious about her malformity, he thinks he may have a chance with her.
He approaches her and nervously asks
"Would you like to go to the prom with me?"
She turns to him and excitedly says
"Oh would I, would I!"
He is shocked and responds
"Hair-lip hair-lip"

Prosthetic joke, Prosthetics are getting so expensive these days.

jokes about prosthetic