Fun-Filled Prosthetic Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What do you call...
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
I lost both my legs below the knee in an accident...
... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.
In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day.
Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.
So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...
And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs.
"Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."
Two disabled people at a school dance.
A man with a fake eye made of wood is at his high school dance. He is the only disabled person other than a woman with a prosthetic leg. They've had a thing for each other for a while now, so he asks her the question.
Boy: Would you like to dance?
Girl: Oh, Wouldn' I!?
Boy: PEG LEG! PEG LEG! PEG LEG!
What's another name for a prosthetic patella?
Faux-knee
Did you hear about the amazing new prosthetic device for paraplegics?
It's called a Vegetable Stand.
A paraplegic got prosthetic legs for a single day before they broke.
He had a one night stand.
What do you call a prosthetic used in exchage for your missing leg.
A stubstitute
Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?
Anyone can pull them off
I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist
Secondhand
You can explore prosthetic bionic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prosthetic malpractice dad jokes. There are also prosthetic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I've finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a stand-up comedian
Thank you prosthetic legs!
Did you hear about how much those new prosthetic limbs cost?
An arm and a leg.
I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Christmas
It's a great stocking-filler.
I have at last fulfilled my dream of becoming arms dealer...
... by selling 3D printed prosthetic limbs for the needy.
Prosthetics are so expensive...
They cost me an arm and a leg
There was a father and son..
The father is a war veteran. He also has a prosthetic leg. One day, his son asks..
"Dad, did you ever get shot in the army?"
The father responds, "No, I got shot in the leggy"
I've got a prosthetic leg.
I just hope it's previous owner got home okay.
Never stare at a dog with a prosthetic foot...
...it's a faux paw.
I accidentally pointed out that my neighbor's cat had a prosthetic foot...
it was a big faux pas.
What do you call a picture of a prosthetic big toe?
A faux toe photo.
My friend is a keen poker player
He recently lost his arm in a car accident - They've given him a prosthetic but he's finding it really hard to deal with.
My great-grandfather worked on the production line for a prosthetic nose manufacturer during the 1940s.
We call it the ol' olfactory factory.
I'm getting my wife a new prosthetic leg for Christmas.
It's not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.
The prosthetic maker has been kidnapped by a group of thugs
We managed to get him back, but the ransom was an arm and a leg!
So what do you do?
*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
*I prefer international arms dealer.*
Did you hear about the guy who had his knee replaced with a Magic 8-Ball?
He had a prophetic prosthetic.
My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.
He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.
What do you call a guy with a prosthetic rubber toe
Roberto.
I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands
"Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
"We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
"All right then."
The airline lost my prosthetic leg
To make matters worse, a baggage handler dropped a heavy suitcase on my foot... I wanted to sue the airline, but my lawyer said I didnt have a leg to stand on.
What do unsatisfied customers of prosthetic feet give the manufacturer?
Their feedback.
I got arrested for robbing a prosthetic store.
I decided to fight the charges. The way I see it, they don't have a leg to stand on.
I'm beginning to regret getting all those prosthetic limbs...
It cost me an arm and a leg!
As an amputee, I asked the doctor how much prosthetic limbs would cost.
He said an arm and a leg.
My friend runs a very successful business making prosthetic limbs and exporting them worldwide.
He is an International Arms dealer.
I guess if your dog had prosthetic feet...
They'd be going through many paws
There's a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street.
He's an arms dealer.
My kid is an amputee. For xmas I got her a new prosthetic leg.
It's just a stocking filler
Captain Hook ordered a new prosthetic hand online.
It was off the hook
Imagine a pirate with a prosthetic breast.
That'd be funny, wooden t**...
"My wife lost both her prosthetic legs in Indonesia." "Jakarta?"
"No we managed to get her a wheelchair"
I got the wife a prosthetic leg for christmas
It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler
After Sherlock Holmes received an amputation below the ankle, why did he call his new prosthetic "The Game?"
Because, my dear Watson, The Game is a foot
A Pirate was offered a prosthetic in place of his eye patch...
The doctor asked, "I made this prosthetic eye out of oak wood to replace your eye patch. Would you like to try it?"
The pirate replied, "Would I?!"
A guy and a girl are set up on a blind date…
… despite some apprehension they both hit it off and agree to a second date.
Date two comes and there's even more fireworks, ending with a kiss goodnight.
Finally, a third date comes and at the end she invites him inside to spend the night.
As they're fooling around, she says If we're going to go to bed together, theres probably something you should know. When I was a little girl I was in an accident and I lost both my feet, so both my feet are prosthetic .
Slightly taken aback, the guy says I'm really sorry, I like you a lot. But if that's the case we can't be together .
Obviously very upset, she asks Why?! Are you a bigot or something?!
No he replies I'm lack-toes intolerant .
So this guy lost his right foot in an accident
Lucky for him, he got a great prosthetic, so nobody knew he's wearing a prosthetic foot.
Some years later he met a girl, but didn't tell her about his 'disability'. They got married and on wedding night, he took off his prosthetic foot to show his new bride.
Horrified, she straight called her mom.
"Mum, you wouldn't believe it. He only got one foot!"
The mum then yelled back at her "g**... child, be grateful! Your dad is only six inches!"
A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store.
He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?"
I once amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a prosthetic made from a breath mint.
I gave him a Tic Tac toe.
I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Xmas
It's just a stocking filler.
