Prostate Jokes

Following is our collection of doctor humor and discomfort one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Prostate puns for adults, dirty hernia jokes or clean testicular gags for kids.

There is an abundance of medication jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 57 funniest jokes on prostate. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cancer witze you can hear about prostate.

The Best jokes about Prostate

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

I asked the doctor where I should put my pants during my prostate examination.

Over there next to mine, was not the answer I was expecting.

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

I just had my first prostate examination

Worst dentist ever.


Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.

Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."

Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."

I was so embarrassed when I got an erection during a prostate exam.

Especially when they found out I'm not even a doctor.

I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop masterbating...

I asked why?

He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.


I went to the doctor today...

He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, "Very interesting....You have got to stop masturbating." I asked why, he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

I had a prostate exam the other day...

When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

My doctor checked my prostate last week

It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know, I do"

I went to the doctor today for a prostate exam.

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, until I realized both his hands were on my shoulders.

I had my prostate checked the other day...

He said, "Bad news. You are going have to stop masturbating."

"What?... Permanently?..."

"No. Just while I am examining you."

I nearly jumped 10 feet in the air during my first prostate exam.

Good thing the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders.

During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an erection.

When I pointed out I didn't have one he said he wasn't talking about me.


i just got my first prostate exam

and im never going back to that dentist again

The doctor asked, how many fingers am I holding up?

I said, feels like two. Can you finish the prostate exam please?

What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?

Prostate

Went in for a prostate exam...

I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.

"Right over there with mine"...

I went to see my doctor to get my prostate checked.

He gave me the thumbs up.

It's awkward when you get an erection during a prostate exam

And they realize you're not a doctor.

gay prostate exam joke

a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.

he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.

the man says to the doctor:

"please take off your ring, it's hurting me"


the doctor says:

"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"

My doctor told me to stop masturbating.

I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop masturbating.

"Why, is my sperm count low?"

"No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."

A prostate exam...

Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"

Here's the good news (OC)

A guy goes to the doctor for his regular checkup. The doctor finishes up and invites him into the office.

"So, which first? The bad news or the good news?"

"Good news, doc", says the guy.

To which the doctor replies, "Well, you won't be needing any more annual prostate exams."

Wrong Erection.

went to the doctor for a prostate exam....

while examening me the doctor said;"some men can get an erection during this exam",

i repleyed; "not me"

Doctor;" i wasn't talking about you!"

I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly.

The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.

Q: When should you worry during a prostate exam?

A: When both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong?

When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.

Prostate exam

A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop masturbating".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.

I had my prostate exam yesterday.

It's the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.

Doctor: Its perfectly normal to have an erection during a prostate exam!

Me: But I don't have one.

Doctor: But I do!!!

A man goes for his first prostate exam

"I am sorry doctor, but where can I leave my pants?"

"Right there where I left mine" - the doctor says

A man is getting a prostate exam...

During the exam, the man asks the doctor, "Is there anything I should be worrying about?"

The doctor says, "Only if you can feel both my hands on your shoulders."

My doctor has the best bedside manner.

During my last prostate exam, he kept me calm by putting both of his hands on my shoulders

What do you never want to hear during a prostate exam?

Look, no hands.

I always assumed you took off your pants during a prostate exam

But apparently that's "not appropriate for a medical professional".

Two patients are sitting in a waiting room.

One of the patients, who has a speech impairment, asks the other patient,
"H-h-hi t-there. W-w-what are y-you here f-f-for?"
The other replies, "I have an issue with my prostate."
"W-w-what's the p-problem?"
The other answers, "Well, the way you talk is the way I pee."

After the doctor left the room from my prostate exam, the nurse came in with three words I didn't want to hear.

"Who was that?"

A Hot Thai Nurse

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.


As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.


"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.


"I haven't got an erection" said the man.


"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

I had a prostate exam today

Doctor felt around and said I had to quit masturbating. I asked why? Doctor said so he can finish the exam.

I really should've studied for my prostate exam

my mom freaked out when she found out I got a D.

Look, no hands!

The worst thing you could hear during a prostate exam.

The Pope's son

An actor and his wife are about to have a baby, but they realize that they can't afford to have a baby. They didn't want to go through the long process that is adoption. However, the pope was there at the same hospital getting a prostate examination. The actor has a plan, after the baby is born, the actor steals a doctor's coat and sneaks into the room where the pope was getting examined. After the doctors leave the room, he walks in holding the baby and exclaims, "Congratulations, it's a boy!" Startled and confused, the pope accepts the child and brings him back to Italy.

The child grows into a God fearing man, someone that the pope would be proud of. One day, the son walks up to pope and asks, "Are you my real father?" The pope, looks down at his feet for a moment, then looks up and says, "Forgive me my child, for I am not your father." His son then asks, "Do you know who is?" The pope answers, "Yes, it's the Archbishop. I'm your mother."

The worst thing about a prostate exam is...

...when he finds out you're not a real doctor.

Two guys sitting in a doctor's office waiting room....

First guy says to second guy:


"I ...I...I...I'm hhhhh... hear ....fffffff...for my stttut...stutttering ppp,ppp, problem. Yyyy, you?"

Second guy says:


"I'm here because I have a swollen prostate, gonna get it checked"


First guy says:


"wwwww, what hhhhh, hhhappens wwwheeen y, yoour, ppppp, pprostate swelll, swells?


Second guys says:


"well, basically, I pee like you talk"

The year is 2017.

There are machines which can look through skin and see bones. There are machines which keep you alive when your brain and heart have stopped. There's even a machine that can tell you who your parents are with a single drop of spit. However, when I need my prostate checking, a man sticks his finger up my arsehole and wriggles it about a bit.

What happens to male anarchists as they get older?

They go from having anti-state issues to having prostate issues.

I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed...

I lost my pen

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this.

When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...

When released from prison after 30 years I went for a prostate exam

The doctor said he could just eyeball it.

A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam.

Midway through, the doctor says, "Don't worry, sir. It's perfectly normal to get an erection during this procedure."

The man says, "What are you talking about doc? I'm not hard."

"I wasn't talking about you."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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