Humorous Prospective Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
Who's your daddy?
A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."
"For your final police recruit evaluation,"
"there are six rounds in the cylinder" the Sergeant said as he slid a revolver across the desk. "I want you to go shoot five black men and a rabbit".
The puzzled prospective cadet responded, "A rabbit, sir?"
The Sergeant shot up from his seat with an outstretched hand, "welcome to the force, son!"
Meanwhile at an ISIS training camp
A bunch of prospective terrorists gathered for their final training lesson before going into the field.
Their instructor said, Now, watch closely, children. I can only show you how to do this once.
An insurance agent was talking to a prospective client at her home.
When she noticed a beautiful vase. She asked her client, "do you keep anything in it?"
"My husband's ashes", the client replied.
"I am so sorry", apologized the agent, "I did not know he was deceased."
"He isn't - he's just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray."
Ladies, if you want to get an idea of how well a prospective boyfriend will treat you,
Take a long hard look at how he treats his wife
You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff...
they'll baldly go where no man has gone before.
My wife asked me to buy a king sized pillow at Target.
After a fruitless search, I replied, "As a trans madam once said to a prospective client, 'Sorry, they're all standard queens.'"
(true story, bro)
Why was the upbeat-themed mortuary not built?
Because the prospective owner needed morbids.
"Doctor, how's the patient?" Doctor: He's critical.
Patient: Dear prospective viewers, remaking 'Point Break' was a bad mistake. Utterly pointless.
