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Prospective Jokes

9 prospective jokes and hilarious prospective puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prospective that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Humorous Prospective Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What is a good prospective joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....

... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"

Who's your daddy?

A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."

My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree.

I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?

"For your final police recruit evaluation,"

"there are six rounds in the cylinder" the Sergeant said as he slid a revolver across the desk. "I want you to go shoot five black men and a rabbit".
The puzzled prospective cadet responded, "A rabbit, sir?"
The Sergeant shot up from his seat with an outstretched hand, "welcome to the force, son!"

Meanwhile at an ISIS training camp

A bunch of prospective terrorists gathered for their final training lesson before going into the field.
Their instructor said, Now, watch closely, children. I can only show you how to do this once.

An insurance agent was talking to a prospective client at her home.

When she noticed a beautiful vase. She asked her client, "do you keep anything in it?"
"My husband's ashes", the client replied.
"I am so sorry", apologized the agent, "I did not know he was deceased."
"He isn't - he's just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray."

Ladies, if you want to get an idea of how well a prospective boyfriend will treat you,

Take a long hard look at how he treats his wife

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In a mirror!
Reply from my 9 year old brother, after my mom asked me this while talking about future career prospects.

Prospective joke, Where do you see yourself in 10 years?


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Prospective joke, Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Prospective joke, Where do you see yourself in 10 years?