The Best 76 Pros Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pros jokes. There are some pros photography jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pros pro puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Pros Jokes and Puns

A prostitute went to a priest...

feeling sad and regretful, she asked: "Father, I hate myself, I hate being a sinner, please tell me what is the first step to repent?"
he replied: "get your hand off my groin."

What did the prostitutes left leg say to the other leg?

Between you and me, we can make a lot of money!

Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear

Because it keeps their ankles warm

Pros joke, Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear

Prostate exam

A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop masturbating".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.

A prostitute got a tramp stamp

It said "tips appreciated"


Why was the prostitute so good at her job?

It was in her whoremoans.

A prostate exam...

Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"

Pros joke, A prostate exam...

How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices?

I'm not sure yet.

What did the prostitute say to her client?

"It's a business doing pleasure with you."

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know, I do"

I just had my first prostate examination

Worst dentist ever.

You can explore pros prose reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pros khans dad jokes. There are also pros puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Want my opinion on Mongolia?

It has it's pros and Khans

Two prostitutes were walking down the street...

Two prostitutes were walking down the street and one of them said excitingly, "Oh we're gonna make big money tonight, I can smell the dicks in the air." The other one said, "Oh please, I just burped."

Three prostitutes in a bar...

First one holds up four fingers "I can take that inside me" she says.
"Well, I can take this" says the second, holding up a fist.
The third one slides slowly down the bar stool.

A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.

"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"

"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.

"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.

Pros joke, During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

What did the prostitute say to her customer after he finished paying?

"It was a business doing pleasure with you."

Pros and cons of guys:

Con: They're dicks.
Pro: Their dicks.

Went in for a prostate exam...

I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.

"Right over there with mine"...


"Get in," I said to the prostitute.

"Hey," she smiled.

I said, "I bet your mum wouldn't be too happy with you doing this."

"Selling my body for money?" she asked.

I said, "No, sitting in a car with a murderer."

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch...

But on the other hand, you have a watch.

How did the prostitute get a job at the zoo?

They heard she could handle a cockatoo.

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

Why did the prostitute cry after her customer left?

He gave her the biggest tip she ever had

When 2 prostitutes have sex, who pays?

Me πŸ˜€

Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?

Anyone can pull them off

A prostitute goes to the doctor

Prostitute: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"

Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"

She undresses and shows him.

Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"

Prostitute: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"

Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

i just got my first prostate exam

and im never going back to that dentist again

The pros and cons of being overly literal

PROS:

People who profit as a result of their occupation.

CONS:

People found guilty of a criminal offense.

A prostitute walked up to me and said, "I'll do anything you want if you give me $30"

Guess who's getting his porch repainted!

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.

Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."

I've been contemplating the pros and cons of masturbation.

On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other, not so much.

Why didn't the prostitute come into work?

Because work came in her.

What does a prostitute call their genitals?

Their public parts

Prostitute said she would do anything I asked....

Guess who's up to date with all his paperwork.

I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job...

...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.

How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong?

When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.

I had my prostate checked the other day...

He said, "Bad news. You are going have to stop masturbating."

"What?... Permanently?..."

"No. Just while I am examining you."

I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly.

The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.

All prostitutes...

starts off as noobstitutes.

Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers?

Because they can wash their crack and sell it again

Why did the prostitute get angry after having sex in an apple orchard?

Because her client came in cider.

How do prostitutes get paid?

Income

I had a prostate exam the other day...

When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands

"Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
"We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
"All right then."

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

I'm trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal

So I made a list of pros and cons.

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00."

A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00.

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

What's a prostitutes favorite soda?

Mount-and-do

A prostitute said she'll do anything for $30

Guess who completed my 2 months' homework

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop masterbating...

I asked why?

He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an erection.

When I pointed out I didn't have one he said he wasn't talking about me.

I had my prostate exam yesterday.

It's the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.

"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands"

"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands" a defense lawyer confided in his client.

"That's nothing," the client replied, ""I can produce five hundred witnesses who didn't see me running from the bank with money bags in my hands"

I had a prostate exam today

Doctor felt around and said I had to quit masturbating. I asked why? Doctor said so he can finish the exam.

Two prostitutes were chatting on the corner. One says to the other, "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

She says, "No, but I've been swung around by the tits a couple times."

As the prostitute finished her session, she said,

It was a business doing pleasure with you.

Two prostitutes meets at the bus to their corner.

"Hey hoe"

"Hey hoe"

"Off to work we go"

It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam,

It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.

I am undecided on whether should I be an athlete or a criminal

so I made a list of pros and cons.

I saw a prostitute being cooked on a skillet.

It was whore-a-frying.

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,

- Doesn't need heating,

But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:

- Has great packaging.

The average paid athlete weighs more than the average felon

As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons.

How did the prostitute become a nun?

Through her missionary work.

After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear..

Who was that..

The prostitute dressed again and said,

It was a business doing pleasure with you.

Prostate exam

Patient bent over naked about to get his prostate checked.
Dr says "ok Dave don't get a hard on "
Patient says " my name is Kenneth"
Dr says " my name is DAVE"

What do prostitutes and MLB players have in common?

They both catch balls for a living.

How many prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 7, bc my basement is still dark...

A boxing match is about to start..

A boxing match is about to start.

An ex-criminal steps on the scale and weighs in at 90kg.

Next up.. a professional athlete weighing in at 85kg.

Gotta weigh the pros and cons

Edit but not actually an edit : it's dumb, I'm aware

My Dr said the prostate exam can cause erections in some men

Turns out he wasn't talking about the patient.

Did you watch the football game between the NFL vs. parolees?

It definitely had its pros and cons

Why did the prostitute only work 6 days in a row?

For her safety, because she knew that 7 days made a whole week.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pros rookie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pros desserts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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