Pros Jokes

Following is our collection of prose humor and photography one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Pros puns for adults, dirty khans jokes or clean pro gags for kids.

There is an abundance of rookie jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 70 funniest jokes on pros. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any desserts witze you can hear about pros.

The Best jokes about Pros

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch...

But on the other hand, you have a watch.

I just had my first prostate examination

Worst dentist ever.


Two prostitutes were chatting on the corner. One says to the other, "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

She says, "No, but I've been swung around by the tits a couple times."

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.

"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"

"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.

"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

A prostitute walked up to me and said, "I'll do anything you want if you give me $30"

Guess who's getting his porch repainted!

Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear

Because it keeps their ankles warm

A prostitute goes to the doctor

Prostitute: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"

Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"

She undresses and shows him.

Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"

Prostitute: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"

Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"


I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job...

...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.

Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."

As the prostitute finished her session, she said,

It was a business doing pleasure with you.

Why did the prostitute get angry after having sex in an apple orchard?

Because her client came in cider.

Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers?

Because they can wash their crack and sell it again

I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop masterbating...

I asked why?

He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices?

I'm not sure yet.

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.


I've been contemplating the pros and cons of masturbation.

On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other, not so much.

"Get in," I said to the prostitute.

"Hey," she smiled.

I said, "I bet your mum wouldn't be too happy with you doing this."

"Selling my body for money?" she asked.

I said, "No, sitting in a car with a murderer."

I had a prostate exam the other day...

When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

How do prostitutes get paid?

Income

The pros and cons of being overly literal

PROS:

People who profit as a result of their occupation.

CONS:

People found guilty of a criminal offense.

Prostitute said she would do anything I asked....

Guess who's up to date with all his paperwork.

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know, I do"

I had my prostate checked the other day...

He said, "Bad news. You are going have to stop masturbating."

"What?... Permanently?..."

"No. Just while I am examining you."

What did the prostitute say to her customer after he finished paying?

"It was a business doing pleasure with you."

Three prostitutes in a bar...

First one holds up four fingers "I can take that inside me" she says.
"Well, I can take this" says the second, holding up a fist.
The third one slides slowly down the bar stool.

During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an erection.

When I pointed out I didn't have one he said he wasn't talking about me.

i just got my first prostate exam

and im never going back to that dentist again

How did the prostitute get a job at the zoo?

They heard she could handle a cockatoo.

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00."

A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00.

What does a prostitute call their genitals?

Their public parts

I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands

"Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
"We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
"All right then."

Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?

Anyone can pull them off

I'm trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal

So I made a list of pros and cons.

Went in for a prostate exam...

I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.

"Right over there with mine"...

A prostate exam...

Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"

I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly.

The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.

What did the prostitute say to her client?

"It's a business doing pleasure with you."

How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong?

When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.

Prostate exam

A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop masturbating".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.

Two prostitutes were walking down the street...

Two prostitutes were walking down the street and one of them said excitingly, "Oh we're gonna make big money tonight, I can smell the dicks in the air." The other one said, "Oh please, I just burped."

Pros and cons of guys:

Con: They're dicks.
Pro: Their dicks.

I had my prostate exam yesterday.

It's the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.

All prostitutes...

starts off as noobstitutes.

The prostitute and the gorilla

A prostitute is standing on a corner when a gorilla walks up to her. He grunts and gestures to an alley nearby. Business has been slow lately so she figures what the heck. As soon as they have some privacy the gorilla removes the prostitute's skirt and starts performing oral sex on her.

The gorilla finishes, stands up, and starts walking away. The prostitute says: "Hey! Where are you going? You need to pay me!"

The gorilla just stands there looking confused.

She pulls out her phone and Googles "prostitute" and shows him.

>a person, typically a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.

He takes the phone from her and Googles "gorilla" and hands it back to her.

>a powerfully built great ape with a large head and short neck, found in the forests of central Africa. It is the largest living primate. Eats bushes and leaves.

A prostitution ring gets busted one afternoon.

As all of the girls were lined up outside the police station to get booked, one of the girls noticed her grandma walking by, who came up to her and said, Why Hello?! What are you waiting in line for dear?

The prostitute, embarrassed, lies and says she's waiting in line for an orange stand, to which the Grandma replied, Oh, I would love some oranges!

As the prostitute and her grandma came to the front of the line, the policeman asked the Grandma, How do you still do it at this age?

The Grandma replied, I just pull out my dentures, pull back the skin, and suck it dry!

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

Why did the prostitute cry after her customer left?

He gave her the biggest tip she ever had

What did the prostitutes left leg say to the other leg?

Between you and me, we can make a lot of money!

A prostitute said she'll do anything for $30

Guess who completed my 2 months' homework

When 2 prostitutes have sex, who pays?

Me 😀

Why didn't the prostitute come into work?

Because work came in her.

I had a prostate exam today

Doctor felt around and said I had to quit masturbating. I asked why? Doctor said so he can finish the exam.

"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands"

"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands" a defense lawyer confided in his client.

"That's nothing," the client replied, ""I can produce five hundred witnesses who didn't see me running from the bank with money bags in my hands"

A prostitute got a tramp stamp

It said "tips appreciated"

Prostitutes

A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?" She replies, "Well, most of them become taxi drivers."

What's a prostitutes favorite soda?

Mount-and-do

Two prostitutes meets at the bus to their corner.

"Hey hoe"

"Hey hoe"

"Off to work we go"

Why was the prostitute so good at her job?

It was in her whoremoans.

Want my opinion on Mongolia?

It has it's pros and Khans

Why is the prostitute so bad at social distancing?

Because she only specializes in keeping 2 feet apart.

I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners.

Pros: prose
Cons: cons

What do a Prostitute and a Empty Lot have in common?

They both say " coming soon ", and they are both lying

A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client anyway.

She thinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk. He won't even notice anything."

She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there, takes him to the nearest hotel and they spend the night together. The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute is already gone by then) and as he starts to get out of bed he sees that his hands are covered in blood.

He starts running around the room, saying to himself in panic: "Oh my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!" As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops, looks at himself for a second n then screams: "Oh my God! And I ate her too!!!."

A prostitute was banging on my hotel door last night.

I was afraid she would wake the neighbors, so I let her out.

A Japanese prison invited a few sumo wrestlers for a match...

The fattest prisoners were selected to compete and to everyone's surprise they won.

It's because the cons outweigh the pros.

One prostitute asks the other:

Do you smoke after sex?

Dunno, I've never looked.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes