Pros Jokes
108 pros jokes and hilarious pros puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pros that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the funny and sometimes raunchy world of "pros and cons" jokes, with particular attention to jokes about golfers. If you are looking for a good laugh, this is the article for you! So grab a beverage and settle in for some rib-tickling prose.
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Funniest Pros Short Jokes
Short pros jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pros humour may include short cons jokes also.
- What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches? On one hand, you have a watch...
But on the other hand, you have a watch. - I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job... ...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.
- The pros and cons of being overly literal PROS:
People who profit as a result of their occupation.
CONS:
People found guilty of a criminal offense. - Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade. Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
- I'm trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal So I made a list of pros and cons.
- The average paid athlete weighs more than the average felon As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons.
- I am undecided on whether should I be an athlete or a criminal so I made a list of pros and cons.
- I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners. Pros: prose
Cons: cons - A Japanese prison invited a few sumo wrestlers for a match... The fattest prisoners were selected to compete and to everyone's surprise they won.
It's because the cons outweigh the pros. - There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program. Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
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Pros One Liners
Which pros one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pros? I can suggest the ones about prof and benefits.
- What are the pros and cons of making kids Pros: Making
Cons: Kids - Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has it's pros and Khans
- I made a list of all the prostitutes and criminals in my area It's my pros and cons list
- Winter- Pros: Chestnuts roasting. Cons: Deez nuts freezing.
- Pros are good and cons are bad, so... What's the opposite of constitution?
- Pros and cons: Choice for abortions Pro: Killing babies.
Con: Giving women a choice. - I recently took a vacation in Vietnam and it was just okay. It had its pros and congs.
- Pros and Cons of making something to eat: Pro: Something to eat
Con: Making - Why do Incels play soccer? Because they're pros at failing to score.
- How do E-Sport Pros get high? Wake and Quake
- What were the pros and cons to OJ Simpson? He was a pro that turned into a con
- Why do prison doctors hire paroled NFL players? The pros out weigh the cons
- Is "I'm taller than you" a joke My brother says it is a joke I am just asking the pros.
- My best pros My pros: smartest guy alive, attractive and a GREAT lair.
- Why is it better to be fat than skinny? Because the pros LITERALLY outweigh the cons!
Pros And Cons Jokes
Here is a list of funny pros and cons jokes and even better pros and cons puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list.
- Did you watch the football game between the NFL vs. parolees? It definitely had its pros and cons
- So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland... The flag is a big plus...
Credit to my 13yr old for this one too! - If cons are opposite of pros... that means congress is the opposite of progress, and... Constitution is the opposite of prostitution?
- Iron with intellectual steam supply Cons: Hardly does its job
Pros: Ridiculously hisses Hegel's quotes - Pros and cons of post-crucifixion Cons: No longer able to eat Skittles
Pros: Makes hide-and-seek super easy - Did you hear the Japanese sumo wrestling team lost to a group of prison inmates? I guess the cons outweighed the pros.
- I needed help deciding whether to become an athlete or a criminal, So I made a list of pros and cons
- My friends asked what it is like working in a prison. There are some pros and a lot of cons
- Being a trigonometry teacher has it's pros and cons.... You may live in sin, but that's all cos you get rich, have a nice life and you can even get an awesome tan.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Pros Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about pros you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prob jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pros pranks.
A p**... went to a priest...
feeling sad and regretful, she asked: "Father, I hate myself, I hate being a sinner, please tell me what is the first step to repent?"
he replied: "get your hand off my groin."
What did the prostitutes left leg say to the other leg?
Between you and me, we can make a lot of money!
Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear
Because it keeps their ankles warm
Prostate exam
A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop m**...".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.
A p**... got a t**... stamp
It said "tips appreciated"
Why was the p**... so good at her job?
It was in her whoremoans.
A prostate exam...
Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"
How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices?
I'm not sure yet.
What did the p**... say to her client?
"It's a business doing pleasure with you."
New Prostate Exam Joke
A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an e**... during this part of the exam".
The patient answers "I don't have an e**..."
The Doctor replies "I know, I do"
I just had my first prostate examination
Worst dentist ever.
Two prostitutes were walking down the street...
Two prostitutes were walking down the street and one of them said excitingly, "Oh we're gonna make big money tonight, I can smell the d**... in the air." The other one said, "Oh please, I just burped."
Three prostitutes in a bar...
First one holds up four fingers "I can take that inside me" she says.
"Well, I can take this" says the second, holding up a fist.
The third one slides slowly down the bar stool.
A woman is out playing golf...
...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.
"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"
"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.
"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?
"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
A p**... was b**... on my hotel door last night.
I was afraid she would wake the neighbors, so I let her out.
What did the p**... say to her customer after he finished paying?
"It was a business doing pleasure with you."
Pros and cons of guys:
Con: They're d**....
Pro: Their d**....
Went in for a prostate exam...
I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.
"Right over there with mine"...
"Get in," I said to the p**....
"Hey," she smiled.
I said, "I bet your mum wouldn't be too happy with you doing this."
"Selling my body for money?" she asked.
I said, "No, sitting in a car with a m**...."
How did the p**... get a job at the zoo?
They heard she could handle a cockatoo.
Prostate Exam
After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy?"
Why did the p**... cry after her customer left?
He gave her the biggest tip she ever had
When 2 prostitutes have s**..., who pays?
Me 😀
Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?
Anyone can pull them off
A p**... goes to the doctor
p**...: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"
Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"
She undresses and shows him.
Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"
p**...: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"
Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"
I just got my prostate examined.
That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.
i just got my first prostate exam
and im never going back to that dentist again
A p**... walked up to me and said, "I'll do anything you want if you give me $30"
Guess who's getting his porch repainted!
I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...
the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.
"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an e**... during this procedure."
"I don't have an e**...', I responded.
Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."
I've been contemplating the pros and cons of m**....
On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other, not so much.
Why didn't the p**... come into work?
Because work came in her.
What does a p**... call their g**...?
Their public parts
p**... said she would do anything I asked....
Guess who's up to date with all his paperwork.
How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong?
When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.
I had my prostate checked the other day...
He said, "Bad news. You are going have to stop m**...."
"What?... Permanently?..."
"No. Just while I am examining you."
I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly.
The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.
All prostitutes...
starts off as noobstitutes.
Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers?
Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
Why did the p**... get angry after having s**... in an apple orchard?
Because her client came in cider.
How do prostitutes get paid?
Income
I had a prostate exam the other day...
When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands
"Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
"We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
"All right then."
I was having a prostate exam...
Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00."
A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00.
After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.
Who was that?
What's a prostitutes favorite soda?
Mount-and-do
A p**... said she'll do anything for $30
Guess who completed my 2 months' homework
Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?
Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.
I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop m**......
I asked why?
He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."
During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an e**....
When I pointed out I didn't have one he said he wasn't talking about me.
I had my prostate exam yesterday.
It's the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.
"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands"
"The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with money bags in your hands" a defense lawyer confided in his client.
"That's nothing," the client replied, ""I can produce five hundred witnesses who didn't see me running from the bank with money bags in my hands"
What do a p**... and a Empty Lot have in common?
They both say " coming soon ", and they are both lying
I had a prostate exam today
Doctor felt around and said I had to quit m**.... I asked why? Doctor said so he can finish the exam.
Two prostitutes were chatting on the corner. One says to the other, "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
She says, "No, but I've been swung around by the t**... a couple times."
As the p**... finished her session, she said,
It was a business doing pleasure with you.
Why is the p**... so bad at social distancing?
Because she only specializes in keeping 2 feet apart.
Two prostitutes meets at the bus to their corner.
"Hey h**..."
"Hey h**..."
"Off to work we go"
It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam,
It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.
I saw a p**... being cooked on a skillet.
It was w**...-a-frying.
During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.
How did the p**... become a nun?
Through her m**... work.
After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear..
Who was that..
Prostate exam
Patient bent over n**... about to get his prostate checked.
Dr says "ok Dave don't get a hard on "
Patient says " my name is Kenneth"
Dr says " my name is DAVE"
How many prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 7, bc my basement is still dark...
Why can't a p**... count to 70?
Because their mouth's full after 69
Why do h**... make great dentists?
They're pros at drilling, filling and billing.
I was getting a prostate exam and asked my doctor where I should put my pants
He said "in the corner, next to mine."
a p**... comes home to her husband after a long day of work.
she has $400.05 with her
her husband asks who paid with a nickel?
she answers: all of them did.
What do you call prostitutes that only work for spirits?
Ghost busters
