Propose Jokes

Find the funniest proposal jokes, shayaris, and lines for Propose Day. Get creative and make your proposal memorable with these jokes that will make your special someone laugh and even say yes! Discover tricks and tips to make the perfect proposal with our humorous collection.

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Propose Jokes with Friends.

I proposed my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes!

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.

It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.

Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.

As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.

As we walked away I asked, "Why did *they* tell us to kiss and not the priest?"

My wife answered,

"In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"

I proposed to my ex-wife today

She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money

An eel tried to propose to an eagle...

the eel asks the eagle
"We may look different but I think I love you. Will you marry me?"
"I'm sorry but I can't" says the eagle.
"Why not?" asks the eel.
The eagle replies with "Because that would be eel-eagle"

Can we Frankenstein Monster a joke?

i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.

jokes about propose

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

Why do girls never propose

Because as soon as she gets on her knees, she starts unzipping him

The real reason women will never be the ones to propose...

As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.

Propose joke, The real reason women will never be the ones to propose...

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

"Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital

The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.

Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."

Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.

Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.

At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."

You can explore propose engagement reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean propose devise dad jokes. There are also propose puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How did Barack propose to Michelle?

He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."

I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said...

I wasn't the Juan.

I couldn't decide how to propose to the love of my life

So I decided to ask her husband for advice.

Why did the English teacher propose to Webster?

She wanted to Merriam.

I was going to propose to this girl i have a crush on

But my mom woke me up

Propose joke, I was going to propose to this girl i have a crush on

Today is Bread day...

I would like to propose a toast.

I was talking to my Grandpa about how to propose to my girlfriend

He asked me if I had any ideas for what three rings I was going to get.

Confused I asked what he meant by three.

"First and engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring, followed by the suffering" He whispered

Why do women not propose to men?

Because as soon as a woman goes down on her knees, a man automatically unzips.

How do stoners propose to one another?

Marriage, you wanna?

A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.

The car stops working.

-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.

-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.

-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."

So I proposed a new bill to my congressman that would deport 1,000,000 Mexicans and 1 chicken

When he asked about the chicken I said "See no one cares about the Mexicans"

What's the best place to propose to a French person?

At the top of a roller coaster so on the way down they say wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

How does a jamaican propose?

Marry Ju Wanna?

I wrote Will you marry me? on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend.

Then I chickened out at the last moment, and had to pop the question.

I propose a change to California's flag

This time it will be a bear but with no arms!

Propose joke, I propose a change to California's flag

How do electrical engineers propose their partners?

j love you.

I proposed to my girlfriend during a 4 day bender

She said we got married yeterday!

I saw a guy at the gym propose to his girl and she said no.

That didn't workout.

I just proposed to my best friend of 25 years

My wife got a bit angry, and Brian also seemed a bit confused

He proposed marriage, because she promised she will make him try different positions

Now he is a husband, a driver, a cook, a gardener and a plumber.

How did the pothead propose to his GF?


Four years ago to this day I asked out the most beautiful girl that I had a crush on. Fitting, today was the day I decided to propose to her...

...and she still said no both times.

How did the stoner propose to his wife?

Marriage, Juana?

A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...

Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!

Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?

I think I am, he said.

You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.

Yes, I guess I am, he said.

That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.

I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.

I proposed to my wife while in Florence...

... I can't say either of them were particularly impressed.

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...

…that means no sex before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.

β€ŸHello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand

A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks β€ŸAnd why is that?

The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… β€ŸWell, its just that mine have gotten tired.

My girlfriend got covid

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

Permission To Marry Your Daughter

Jimmy asks his girlfriend's father permission to propose.

The father says, "I need to ask you two questions. The first question is, do you love my daughter?"

Jimmy eagerly responds, "Sir, I love her with all my heart."

My second question is, "Do you think you earn enough money to support a family."

Jimmy immediately answers, "Yes sir, I certainly do."

The father says, "Slow down and think carefully Jimmy. There is six of us."

What did the rabbit use to propose to his girlfriend?

A 24-carrot ring

How does an old rich man propose to a young beautiful woman?

Will you bury me?

Baby name

A gal asks her mother for advice on how to get her boyfriend to propose. Her mom suggests not asking directly, but instead asking what he would name their baby, if they had one.

So, after sex one night, she asks her boyfriend, If we had a son, what would we name him?

Her boyfriend tied a knot at the top of the spent condom and said If he gets out of that, we're calling him Houdini .

Why did it take so long for the construction worker to propose?

He was building up to it.

Just proposed and thought to myself..

I can no longer say I'm really focused now I have to say I'm really engaged

I proposed to my girlfriend at the gym and she said "no."

I guess it didn't workout.

In this age of missinformation and misogony I propose a solution

Misterinformation and mistersogony.

One of my buddies made a trans girl cry yesterday. So I angrily asked, "How could you..."

"... propose to her without telling me first?"

How does a physicists propose a threesome?

He says he wants to perform the double-slit experiment

how do stoners propose?

"Marriage, you wanna?"

I was about to propose to my girlfriend at the bar, but the lights suddenly went out.

So I took a shot in the dark.

Bill and Bob met at the local bar after work.


Bob said to Bill, "So you were going to propose to Lisa yesterday evening. Are congratulations in order?"

Bill said, "Not yet. They'll have to wait."

Bob asked, "How long?"

"It could be a while," replied Bill, "she said I'm the last person she'll marry."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the propose pinky puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working propose propose day piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes