The Best 31 Proposal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Proposal jokes. There are some proposal propose jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these proposal proposition puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Proposal Jokes and Puns

Husband and wife are in a bar when the wife sees her ex boyfriend

She says to her husband, 'see that drunk, I turned down his proposal 10 years ago.
Husband looks at his wife, looks at the guy and sighs, 'that explains why he is still celebrating'

A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...

Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!

Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?

I think I am, he said.

You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.

Yes, I guess I am, he said.

That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.

I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.

Punctuation is everything: "Will you marry me" is a marriage proposal

"Will, You, Mary, Me" = a Foursome Inquiry

Proposal joke, Punctuation is everything: "Will you marry me" is a marriage proposal

What's the most common marriage proposal?

You're what!

Will you marry me is a marriage proposal

But

Will. You. Mary. Me. is a foursome proposal


I had to really consider my boyfriend's proposal before giving an answer.

On one hand, I'd get a really nice ring.

On the other hand, I wouldn't.

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.

The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"

The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".

The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.

The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."

The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"

The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely Willie Nelson."

Proposal joke, Tatoos of Elvis

How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

Justin Trudeau announces free lazer eye surgery for all Canadians in 4 years...

When asked why he put forward this proposal, he responded by saying "because it's 2020".

What is the difference between a man's wedding proposal and a woman's proposal?

The man has to get down only on **ONE** knee.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night

Aftwerwards I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

You can explore proposal weirdos reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean proposal implement dad jokes. There are also proposal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An indecent proposal

A man spots a woman at the bar, goes over to her and asks

"Ma'am? Would you sleep with me for a million?"

She looks at him and eventually, she nods.

"How about 5 bucks?"

"What?", she exclaims, "Now what kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Ma'am, I think we have settled that part, now we're negotiating the price."

A lawyer and your client have a meet.

The client has a proposal.

If I get ten years on jail I'll pay you $3.000. If i get five years, I'll pay you $5.000. And if i get 1 year I'll pay you $10.000.

The lawyer says ok and will go negociate with the prosecutor. Than he return and says: You need pay me $10.000. We got it! Only one year in a jail. And I have Luck, they tried to not guilt you.


~~Sorry, English is not my native language. I' m try hard.~~

My proposal for the new state motto of Mississippi was denied.

"We're all one big happy family."

Out of ten

My German girlfriend gave my proposal a nein.

Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election

One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."

The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.

"Arrr, an Aye for an eye it is, then."

Proposal joke, Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election

My friend asked his fiance to marry him with a song.

The proposal had a nice ring to it.

An Irish Proposal

An Irishman proposed to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick's Day and gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond.

On learning it wasn't real she protested vehemently about his cheapness.

He explained that in honor of Saint Patrick's Day, he picked her a sham-rock.

Why did the rabbit reject her boyfriend's marriage proposal?

Because the ring wasn't 24 carrots


Hilarious reply to hilarious 'I love you' proposal

It was just a casual talk with one of my best friends,when I told her
"*I'm a negative person will you be my modulus function*"(read it somwhere)

And her reply was
"*I'm a square root so cant take any negatives otherwise this whole thing will become complex*"

I got mathametic-zoned

I saw a live proposal today...

He said, Laurel, will you marry me?

She slapped him and said, Who's Yanny?

Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal?

Because she was scared of comet-ment

Have you heard the Scottish National Party's proposal to reduce Loch Ness monster sightings?

Nick all the sturgeon

Stoner Proposal

How does a stoner propose?
He says, "marry wanna?"

I'm planning a marriage proposal over the phone.

I will give her a ring. Let's hope she is not engaged!

How to pass a Proposal at the FCC

just make the Title apealing, noone cares what it is actually about.

How does Louis CK respond to a sexual proposal?

He says,"Ive gotta hand it too you."

A proposal was sent for arranged marriage.

The girl's parents said "we don't like your son."

Guy's parents: we don't like him either, but what can we do?

Proposal

How to propose a boy?

What did the committee tell the disabled man about his proposal?

Wheelchair it until next time

The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope.

Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says "Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."

Pope Francis says, "yes, of course."

Jim Perdue says "I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out daily chicken.' And instead of bread-based Eucharist, you could give chicken nuggets."

Pope Francis says, "sir, that is really not a feasible proposal."

Perdue says, "tell you what, I'll donate the $2 million no strings attached, but if you implement my proposal, I'll donate another $20 million."

The Pope merely thanks him and leaves the room.

The next day, at a meeting with his cardinals, the pope says, "Exalted cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church... we need to discuss the Wonderbread account."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the proposal agency jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working proposal request piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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