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Property Management Jokes

5 property management jokes and hilarious property management puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about property management that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Cheerful Property Management Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What is a good property management joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous p**... Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the p**... Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.
Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Buddy Hackett duck joke

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

E.T. became a very successful property manager. His slogan was...

"E.T. own home."

If you're a property manager, getting a call about tenants fighting

is probably a lot different than getting a call about ten ants fighting.

A frog went to the bank to take out a mortgage.

He sat down with Patty Mack the banker, and began the negotiations.
His credit score wasn't bad, but when it came to the subject of collateral, he was a little unsure. Collectables and other odds and ends were all he had to offer.
Patty was not convinced. No car? No property? Little credit? "Times are rough..." she started to say, when her manager stepped up to her desk, and asked what the problem was.
She handed him his paperwork, and after a few minutes browsing, the manager raised an eyebrow and lowered his glasses.
"He has knick-knacks, Patty Mack, give the frog a loan."


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