Pronunciation Jokes

What are some Pronunciation jokes?

Smart waitress

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ack-id-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry slo-o-owly?"

The waitress leaned over the counter and says, "Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns"

Pronounce it please!

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.


As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the "blonde" employee: "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at... VERY SLOWLY?"


The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said...
"Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing"

A trip to Wales.

A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside, and ask the staff member "excuse me, could you pronounce the name of this place, really slowly?"
The kid behind the counter gives them a confused look, and says "burr-gurr kiiiiing"

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

TIL Merriam-Webster's audio pronunciation of "Gullible" says "Guilty" instead.

I tried to get my friend to stop eating Canada...

But he was having Nunavut.

^^^the ^^^pronunciation ^^^doesn't ^^^work ^^^that ^^^way ^^^but ^^^whatever ^^^it's ^^^OC

A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class

"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."

During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.

Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.

A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon

They start arguing over the pronunciation of "Hawaii".

The man says it is pronounced "Hawaii" while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced "Havaii".

The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is pronounced and he says "Havaii".

The woman was elated to hear that she was correct and thanks the local for his help.

He responds, "You're Velcome".

a wife and husband are taking a trip to...

a husband and wife wanted to take a trip somewhere. after much argument, they decided to go to Hawaii. on the flight there, they were arguing about the pronunciation of the word Hawaii. the wife insisted, "it's pronounced havaii." the husband argued, " NO! its hawaii!" they both agreed to ask the first person they see after they get off the plane.

when they get off, they ask a man the name of the island. the man replies "havaii." "I TOLD YOU!" the wife gloats. "thank you, sir!" she smirks. the man tips his hat and replies "you're velcome."

EDIT-got help from my brother. i suck at writing.

An American couple are on holiday traveling through Wales

On their way they see a sign for a place called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and decide to head there for something to eat. As they make their way there they debate the pronunciation of the town's name.

They stop for lunch and one tourist asks the cashier, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? The Cashier nods.

Would you please pronounce where we are for us – very slowly?

The cashier leans over the counter and says, Buurrrrgerrrrr Kinnnnggg.

Cation

Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on]

-Noun Chemistry

1.An ion with paws-tive charge.
2.The cutest ion ever.

A guy is flying to Hawaii...

He's unsure of the pronunciation, not sure if its "Hawaii" or "Havaii", so when he gets off of the plane, he looks for a local.

He finds a guy that appears to be a local and asks him, "is it pronounced 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii'?"

The local responds "Havaii!"

The traveler then says thank you, that he was really confused and the local really cleared things up and the local replies "you're velcome!"

I thought 'H' is silent

One Day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher: "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation. eg the letter....'H'.......in Hour, Honest, Honor.....e.t.c.........???"

Ms. Doris: "We are not ignoring them; they are considered silent."!

(I was even more confused.........??)

During the lunch break, MS. Doris gave me her packed lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.

I ate all the food and returned her an empty container....!!

Ms. Doris: "What happened, I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container??"

Me: "Madam I thought 'H' was silent"

TIL that Turkish has some weird pronunciation.

I mean, they pronounce Constantinople as Istanbul.

Where do calculus students go when they're injured?

To L'Hospital.



(Yes, I'm aware the true pronunciation is loh-pi-tal)

Studies show gif pronunciation highly correlated with being a caring mother . . .

Choosy moms choose "jiff".

Grandpa told many Vietnam War stories. He always mentioned that if you were uniformed it was really hard to watch it.

took me a while to realize he meant pronunciation

How to make Pronunciation jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Pronunciation to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Pronunciation? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Pronunciation pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes