The Best 20 Pronunciation Jokes

Where are we?

Not mine:

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

Smart waitress

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ack-id-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry slo-o-owly?"

The waitress leaned over the counter and says, "Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns"

One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????

My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, "sir, I thought 'H' was silent.

A trip to Wales.

A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside, and ask the staff member "excuse me, could you pronounce the name of this place, really slowly?"
The kid behind the counter gives them a confused look, and says "burr-gurr kiiiiing"

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

TIL Merriam-Webster's audio pronunciation of "Gullible" says "Guilty" instead.

I tried to get my friend to stop eating Canada...

But he was having Nunavut.

^^^the ^^^pronunciation ^^^doesn't ^^^work ^^^that ^^^way ^^^but ^^^whatever ^^^it's ^^^OC

A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class

"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."

During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.

Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.

A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon

They start arguing over the pronunciation of "Hawaii".

The man says it is pronounced "Hawaii" while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced "Havaii".

The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is pronounced and he says "Havaii".

The woman was elated to hear that she was correct and thanks the local for his help.

He responds, "You're Velcome".

A guy is flying to Hawaii...

He's unsure of the pronunciation, not sure if its "Hawaii" or "Havaii", so when he gets off of the plane, he looks for a local.

He finds a guy that appears to be a local and asks him, "is it pronounced 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii'?"

The local responds "Havaii!"

The traveler then says thank you, that he was really confused and the local really cleared things up and the local replies "you're velcome!"

Cation

Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on]

-Noun Chemistry

1.An ion with paws-tive charge.
2.The cutest ion ever.

Two cats tried to cross the river. One cat was named 'One Two Three', the other cat was named 'Un Deux Trois'. Which cat made it across?

'One Two Three' because 'Un Deux Trois' Quatre Cinq .


It's a pronunciation thing.

TIL that Turkish has some weird pronunciation.

I mean, they pronounce Constantinople as Istanbul.

The internet has finally determined the true pronunciation of "GIF"

It's "g" as in garage

Where do calculus students go when they're injured?

To L'Hospital.

(Yes, I'm aware the true pronunciation is loh-pi-tal)

What do you call an astronomer who isn't good at pronunciation?

A "skyentist."

Pedometer is a very unfortunate sounding word with the wrong pronunciation.

Which explains why uncle Jerry was so scared of his Christmas present.

As a foreigner, for years, I didn't understand why some Americans and British people often use "there" and "their" interchangeably...

...then I learned that they have identical pronunciation.

Studies show gif pronunciation highly correlated with being a caring mother . . .

Choosy moms choose "jiff".