Comedy Pronounced Dead Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.
"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.
Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5
Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day came. He went to the audition room and started to play, but no sound would come out. The organ was broken. The judge immediately arranged for another organ. As Billy began to play, the organ also creaked and then ceased to make a sound. The judge arranged for yet another organ for Billy, but that one broke down as well. The judge suddenly collapsed to the ground.
At the hospital, the doctors pronounced the judge dead and performed an autopsy.
"The cause of death appears to be multiple organ failure."
A soldier was rushed to the hospital with a horrific bayonet wound.
Unfortunately, he was pronounced dead on a rifle.
How do you pronounce XXXTentaction?
According to all the news sources he is pronounced dead
Breaking: Spelling Bee Official Pronounced Dead.
He then used it in a sentence.
How do you pronounce XXXTentacion?
Dead.
Her: I'm sorry sir, your dad was pronounced dead.
Me: I can't believe I've been pronouncing it wrong all this time!
A man's daughter is pronounced dead
He corrects them, "No, it's pronounced Deb."
Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!
The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..
Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
