Promoted Jokes
50 promoted jokes and hilarious promoted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about promoted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Promoted Short Jokes
Short promoted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The promoted humour may include short promotion jokes also.
- Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.
- I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Good morning". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed.
- Did you hear burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.
- Why did the accordion player get a promotion at work? He knew how to push all the right buttons.
- My roofing business is having a great promotion right now... If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.
- I drove past a billboard promoting Niagara Falls as the tallest waterfall in the world... Turns out it was falls advertising.
- The board of directors for Old McDonald's Farm has decided to give me a promotion. I'm the new C-I-E-I-O.
- I spent 15 years suffering from chronic procrastination.... And I still can't decide if I prefer sativa or indica.
P.s I am getting really annoyed by that persistent promoted post! - My grandfather was treated very badly by the Germans in WW2. Passed over for promotion time and time again.
- Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity. Literally anyone can come inside a temple.
Share These Promoted Jokes With Friends
Promoted One Liners
Which promoted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with promoted? I can suggest the ones about advertised and sponsored.
- Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.
- United should rebrand to Adrenaline... Since they promote "fight or flight".
- I got a promotion at the farm I'm the new CIEIO
- Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Just got a promotion on the farm I'm the new C.I.E.I.O
- I finally got promoted at the crematorium What can I say, I urned it.
- Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted. Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Dairy Queen should have had a Harry Potter promotion. You're a blizzard Dairy.
- Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was out-standing in his field
- Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field.
- The National Guillotine Convention promoted me I'm now the head
- Did you hear about the nuclear engineer who got promoted? He was a real afissionado
- I've a joke on promotion at Jobs But you won't get it
- I told my boss I think I deserve a promotion He said that's why I'm not the boss.
- Did you blow it at work? I hope the promotion was worth the dignity hit.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Promoted Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about promoted you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pushed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make promoted pranks.
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion
when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"
The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."
The rabbi asked, "And then?"
The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."
The rabbi again asked, "And then?"
The priest again pondered the question before responding "Then I would become Pope!"
The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?"
The priest, exasperated, cried "What else could I become? God Himself!?"
The rabbi quietly responded "One of our boys made it"
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
I uninstalled Facebook as i got depressed of seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage
I uninstalled LinkedIn as i got depressed of seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion
I uninstalled instagram as i got depressed of seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.
But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .
My friend was upset that he was passed over for promotion at work by an attractive older colleague.
I said, Don't cry over skilled m**....
Three ghosts were talking about what was keeping them from being promoted from ghoul to specter.
The first confessed, "I have a weakness for boooooooooooooobs."
The second admitted, "I drink too much boooooooooooooze."
The third said, "I lack situational awareness."
If you really want a promotion at work, all you have to do is walk into your office shouting, "v**...! Tequila! Sambuca!" at the top of your lungs...
This will make you the person who calls the shots...
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey, congratulations on the job promotion!" the bartender says. "Thanks. But you know, success in life is kind of like being pregnant," the guy replies. "Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were s**...."
A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.
Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.
This guy walks into a bar
This guy walks into a bar and notices there's slabs of meat all over the ceiling. He goes up to the bartender and asks why there's meat everywhere.
The bartender responds "it's part of our new promotion. If you manage to touch the slabs, your drinks are free all night. If you fail, it's $20 per attempt. Would you like to try"
The guy looks at the bartender and says "no thanks, the stakes are too high"
I'll never forgive the n**... for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.
Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...
A guy goes into a bar in the middle of the day
It's quiet and practically deserted. He sits alone, thinking about the twists and turns his life has taken. He hears a soft voice:
"Nice tie"
He looks around but he doesn't see anyone. The voice speaks again:
"Great haircut. "
A few moments later:
"Congratulations on your promotion. "
He waves over the bartender to ask her if she hears anything. The bartender says: "That's the pretzels, they're complimentary."
The Promotion
I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.
"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly" she said "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have s**... with".
"That's fair enough" I replied "When can you start?"
A King asks two guards to protect his beautiful daughter's virginity...
Unbeknownst to the guards, the king put a trap in his daughter's nether regions.
The next day, the king summons the guards and one showed up with mangled g**.... The King had him executed for making attempts on his daughter.
The other guard, with his manhood intact was offered a promotion for upholding abstinence, to which he replied "hnnnggg"
A black Christian man and a white Jewish man walk into a bar...
"That's racist!"
Okay, so a Christian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar...
"That's religionist!"
Okay, so two men walk into a bar...
"That's sexist!"
Okay, so a man and a woman walk into a bar...
"That's homophobic!"
Okay, so two people walk into a bar...
"That's ableist!"
Okay, so two people enter a bar...
"That promotes alcoholism!"
Okay, so two people enter a place...
"Animals have rights too!"
Okay, so two animals, which may or may not be human, enter a place...
"I've heard this one before!"
What does a man who just r**... 300 million people say after?
We are helping consumers and promoting competition, Mr. Pai said. Broadband providers will have more incentive to build networks, especially to underserved areas.
A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate.
Ronny is pondering life one day as hes giving the captain a shave.
"I'm not a very good pirate," he says to the captain. "I can't navigate and I don't know how to fight. I don't even sound like a pirate. Is there a reason you chose me as first mate?"
"Aye Ronny," says the captain.
A conversation in the train compartment of a speedtrain
"What are you chewing on all the time?"
"Apple cores."
"And what's that good for?"
"It promotes intelligence."
"I see, can you give me four of those, too?"
"Gladly. Four pieces cost eight Dollars."
The passenger pays and gets the kernels.
After chewing for a while, he says:
"But for eight Dollar I could have bought lots of apples!"
"You see, the cores are already working!"
