Promiscuous Jokes
53 promiscuous jokes and hilarious promiscuous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about promiscuous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Promiscuous Short Jokes
Short promiscuous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The promiscuous humour may include short profusely jokes also.
- My brother pulled this one about his promiscuous dad today What's the difference between dad and Santa Claus?
Santa Claus stops after 3 hos. - The kids at school used to call my mum the village bike She wasn't promiscuous; when I was six years old she went missing and they found her in the canal.
(Mat Ewins) - The father's suspicions that his daughter was promiscuous we're confirmed when she got a tattoo... of a load bearing sign on her back.
- What's a good gift for the promiscuous woman who does your company's inventory? Anything will do, it's the thot that counts.
- Did you hear about the promiscuous detective who was investigating a knighted female? He got a case of Sir Phyllis
- Why would a promiscuous bookworm make for a great wife? When she isn't being promiscuous, she's reading silently.
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Promiscuous One Liners
Which promiscuous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with promiscuous? I can suggest the ones about careless and flirty.
- My last girlfriend was a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.
- How does a promiscuous endocrinologist know when he's doing a good job? His hormones
- Where did the promiscuous girl from belgium go to plant her flowers? ze Hoegaarden.
- What do you call a promiscuous accountant? The thot that counts
- What do you call a promiscuous potato? A tater thot.
- What do you call a promiscuous fly? A mosquitho
- What do you call a promiscuous Greek woman? Swinx
- A promiscuous homosexual man who collects birds of paradise, Loves a cockatoo
- What do you call a promiscuous farm animal A Horse
- What do you call a promiscuous woman who travels a lot? Abroad.
- What do you call a promiscuous hippo? A hippoTHOTamus.
- What do you call a promiscuous corn cob? An easy shuck.
- Who is the most promiscuous Simpsons character? Philanders
- What do you call a promiscuous egg? h**...-me Dumped-me
- Did you hear about the s**... promiscuous deaf person? Turns out he got hearing aids.
Howlingly Hilarious Promiscuous Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about promiscuous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scattered jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make promiscuous pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Panda and a p**...
A panda spent the night in bed with a p**.... The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the p**... yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up p**....'
The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous s**... activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the p**... and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heard this one 20 years ago in India
At Sunday mass in a small coastal town, the preacher decides to address the increasing promiscuity of the locals. People were beginning to have more and more pre-marital s**..., more children were being born out of wedlock and the number of teenage mothers was on the rise. The fact that it was a tourist spot also meant that one-night flings with visitors was now commonplace.
"In Corinthians 6:18-20 the lord says Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
Continuing in the same vein, he hopes that he is shaming the audience into repentance so that they may amend their ways. As a grand flourish, he ends with, "Now let those among you who have saved themselves for the Lord stand up, so we may gaze upon thee and admire thee."
No one stands up, and all avert their gaze and look at their shoes.
Then, a young mother with a five month old-baby girl stands up at the back.
Everyone is taken aback and the preacher is flustered. "Did you not understand my instruction? Only those who have not had s**... congress may stand!"
"Well, father", the young mother replies, "you can hardly expect this baby to stand up by herself, now, can you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Philandering Duck
This swinging philandering duck suddenly became conscious of the danger of acquiring AIDS through s**... promiscuity.
To put himself at ease he went to his local druggist and asked for a c**.... "How much will that be?" asked the duck. "1 dollar and 19 cents" replied the druggist. "Would you like me to put this on your bill"? "What kind of a duck to you think I am"? replied the duck.
Amish jokes
Have you heard about the promiscuous Amish lady?
She had two Mennonite
I had the Amish flu last week. At first I got a little horse. Then I got a little buggy... but yesterday I got butter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a promiscuous fat woman?
A s**... whale.
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\**awaits SRS downvote brigade**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a promiscuous hippy?
w**...-ganic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear the one about the s**... promiscuous citrus fruit?
He got lemon aids.
Doctor, How can I live longer than 100 years?
Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you eat too much?
No.
Do you go to bed late?
No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.
Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a lawncare company owned by a promiscuous lesbian?
h**... Mow
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A promiscuous Amish girl was asked....
"What's your favorite s**... act?"
"Two Mennonite"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two promiscuous citrus fruits have unprotected s**...
They get lemon-aids
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a promiscuous Native American?
Nava-h**...
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true that men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"
The woman was a bit promiscuous and was curious to see if the old adage was correct, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thank you, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some smaller boots"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ingsoc recently outlawed s**... promiscuity
It's thotcrime
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a promiscuous Amish woman measure her s**... escapades?
In Mennonite.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Post Malone and his family went out for dinner, while his sister was the only person left in the house. When they came back, they found out the neighbours had started referring to her as a promiscuous woman.
After all, she was h**... Malone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda spent the night in bed with a p**...
The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the p**... yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up p**....' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous s**... activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the p**... and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man had a loose wife
So a man was married to a woman who was known to be s**... promiscuous but still loved her with all of his heart. They had 8 kids but when their 9th baby was born, he didn't look like the rest of them. So he thought that this must be someone else's baby but he didn't want to hurt his wife by questioning her so he went along as a father. When his time came and he was on death bed, he decided what harm could it do to ask about their 9th kid so he calls for his wife and says to her, "tell me the truth, was he really my child?" And the wife replies to the man, "It was your only child."
