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Project Management Jokes

24 project management jokes and hilarious project management puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about project management that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Project Management Short Jokes

Short project management jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The project management humour may include short project manager jokes also.

  1. Who is a Project Manager? Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.
  2. How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
  3. A wise man once said Life becomes much more peaceful when you realize you are not responsible for the projections of others. …the movie theater manager then proceeded to reconsider his career.
  4. How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
  5. A classic project management joke. A woman can give birth in 9 months.
    A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.
  6. Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger... She's in charge of spell-check.
  7. Project Manager Humor Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
    Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
    (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)
  8. My project manager hired nine women to my project so that they can deliver it in one month
  9. What's the difference between a project manager and a person who poops? The person p**... gets s**... done.
  10. In group projects, they call me the task manager I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**

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Project Management One Liners

Which project management one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with project management? I can suggest the ones about project and time management.

  1. What do you call an engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator? A project manager.
  2. A good project manager makes updates. A bad project manager makes up dates.
  3. Project manager Is a person that thinks nine women can make a baby in a month.
  4. How to live forever? Hire a project manager to plan your death.
  5. Project Manager: A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.

Project Management joke, Project Manager:

Ridiculous Project Management Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about project management you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean performance management jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make project management pranks.

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner

A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"

My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"

I commented on that post
"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

Where is Mike?

On a Monday morning, Paul, Mike's job's teammate, noticed Mike was not around and asked the project manager
'Where is Mike'
Upon which the manager replied
'He is in the hospital'
Paul having just seen Mike yesterday asked in confusion
'But I saw Mike yesterday dancing with a girl.'
The manager looked at him and said
'Yeah, his wife saw him tooooo.'

Information Technology cannibals

Five cannibals get selected as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and if you are hungry, you can go to the company cafeteria for something to eat. So don't bother the other employees". The cannibals promise not to bother the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our cleaners has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals deny any knowledge of the missing cleaner.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which one of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
A hand rise hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything. Why you just had to go and eat the cleaner?!"

Project Management joke, Information Technology cannibals