The Best 16 Project Management Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Project Management jokes. There are some project management underway jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these project management consultancy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Project Management Jokes and Puns
What do you call an Engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator?
A project manager.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
Who is a Project Manager?
Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"
I commented on that post
"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".
How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
Where is Mike?
On a Monday morning, Paul, Mike's job's teammate, noticed Mike was not around and asked the project manager
'Where is Mike'
Upon which the manager replied
'He is in the hospital'
Paul having just seen Mike yesterday asked in confusion
'But I saw Mike yesterday dancing with a girl.'
The manager looked at him and said
'Yeah, his wife saw him tooooo.'
What's the difference between a project manager and a person who poops?
The person pooping gets shit done.
How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
A wise man once said Life becomes much more peaceful when you realize you are not responsible for the projections of others.
…the movie theater manager then proceeded to reconsider his career.
Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger...
She's in charge of spell-check.
You can explore project management collaborative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean project management darpa dad jokes. There are also project management puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
In group projects, they call me the task manager
I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**
Project Manager Humor
Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)
Project Manager:
A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
How to live forever?
Hire a project manager to plan your death.
My project manager hired nine women to my project
so that they can deliver it in one month
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the project management handouts jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working project management intensive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.