Ridiculous Project Management Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What do you call an Engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator?
A project manager.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
Who is a Project Manager?
Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"
I commented on that post
"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".
How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
Where is Mike?
On a Monday morning, Paul, Mike's job's teammate, noticed Mike was not around and asked the project manager
'Where is Mike'
Upon which the manager replied
'He is in the hospital'
Paul having just seen Mike yesterday asked in confusion
'But I saw Mike yesterday dancing with a girl.'
The manager looked at him and said
'Yeah, his wife saw him tooooo.'
What's the difference between a project manager and a person who poops?
The person p**... gets s**... done.
A wise man once said Life becomes much more peaceful when you realize you are not responsible for the projections of others.
…the movie theater manager then proceeded to reconsider his career.
How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
A classic project management joke.
A woman can give birth in 9 months.
A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.
You can explore project management collaborative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean project management darpa dad jokes. There are also project management puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger...
She's in charge of spell-check.
In group projects, they call me the task manager
I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**
Project Manager Humor
Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)
Project Manager:
A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
How to live forever?
Hire a project manager to plan your death.
My project manager hired nine women to my project
so that they can deliver it in one month
