Project Management Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Project Management jokes. Read project management underway jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these project management consultancy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Ridiculous Project Management Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What do you call an Engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator?

A project manager.

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner

A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.

The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.

The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.

The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

A good project manager makes updates.

A bad project manager makes up dates.

My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"

I commented on that post

"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.

Where is Mike?

On a Monday morning, Paul, Mike's job's teammate, noticed Mike was not around and asked the project manager

'Where is Mike'

Upon which the manager replied

'He is in the hospital'

Paul having just seen Mike yesterday asked in confusion

'But I saw Mike yesterday dancing with a girl.'

The manager looked at him and said

'Yeah, his wife saw him tooooo.'

Project Management joke, Where is Mike?

What's the difference between a project manager and a person who poops?

The person p**... gets s**... done.

A wise man once said Life becomes much more peaceful when you realize you are not responsible for the projections of others.

…the movie theater manager then proceeded to reconsider his career.

How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.

A classic project management joke.

A woman can give birth in 9 months.

A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.

You can explore project management collaborative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean project management darpa dad jokes. There are also project management puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger...

She's in charge of spell-check.

In group projects, they call me the task manager

I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**

Project Manager Humor

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.

(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)

Project Manager:

A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.

How to live forever?

Hire a project manager to plan your death.

Project Management joke, How to live forever?

My project manager hired nine women to my project

so that they can deliver it in one month

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the project management handouts puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working project management intensive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes