Following is our collection of funny Project jokes. There are some project managers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these project project management puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake
Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.
The government has begun to put more cars on the road, ordering them to beep occasionally. As a result, the familiar sounds of the city will be returned in order to calm the residents of Egypt.
They have called this operation toot-and-calm-em.
Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.
My friend is doing a video project for school and needs fruit jokes.
They are skinny genes.
A dessertation.
It's the bomb.
He received a T minus.
So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.
He gave me a C++!
You can explore project programme reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean project renovation dad jokes. There are also project puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because they prefer rrrrrivets.
*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*
Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)
The Blair...Which project?
[Made my roomie laugh at least]
Salesman: Lady, this vacuum cleaner will cut your house cleaning time in half.
Woman: Great, Gimme two of 'em!
*Does anyone know of any other jokes that demonstrate the Law of Diminishing returns? Its for a project I'm working on...
... I was beside myself
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
I ended up failing because everyone in my photos was over-exposed.
Sew sew
I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent.
I heard it was the bomb.
that's it
They never carry their own weight.
The physicist immediately liquors up and attempts to pick up chicks with his top secret details about a new slightly-cooler-than-molten-hot fusion project he's working on.
The biologist attempts to pick up chicks with stories about him working with baby elephants in Thailand.
The geologist says "Ouch".
A part of me died that day.
All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia.
It's causing pandaneumonium.
Krautsourcing
if there's one thing they're good at its milking it.
That guy really needs to stop getting arrested.
is apparently a bad way to explain to your boss why you missed the project deadline
I remember the time I did that, in middle school.
Rings A Bell.
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
They've named the project Channing Tatum.
Their first project will be Drag Racing
in a box
It sounds like a cool psy-ants project
It was called Unlicensed Carpentry
Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.
They found that 17 percent of them felt they were born gay, the other 83 percent were sucked into it.
And I also wish that I would stop bugging me yesterday while I'm working on it
To git to the other side.
So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.
(I found this on my home computer in a file called "OK Joke.txt". I have no idea where it came from. Also, I'm supposed to be working now.)
I have my projects... and my wife has our projects...
With my wife.
I only put in 30 seconds of work but I still put my name on the birth certificate.
To get the other slides.
Don't worry, it's for a school project.
They're gonna lower my casket into the ground.
So they can let me done one last time.
Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
Don't throw them away. Save them for the opposite side of the project.
A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"
I'm sorry, but defusing bombs just makes me really stressed.
He's just another middle aged man failing at a DIY project.
It's on a mead to know basis.
Give an Eevee a couple dollars every month for their art project and it turns into Patreon.
It was designed to make city populations explode
I haven't turned her on in years, now it usually takes a garage full of men to get her motor running.
He says, without pausing, "i'd like to keep my eyes."
Classic dad joke moment in action.
Make operating it a school group project!
Eva said there were many things they could not do in caves. Don asked her a question using his knowledge from palindrome school. Don said, Eva can I stab bats in a cave . She said no don . Don then said, Eva can I pose as aesop in a cave . She again said, no don .
To please their steakholders
This is why I always hated group projects.
I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.
Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irritated and she leant over,startling me, and screamed PICK A BOO!
What an odd game to play with another adult in a library.
A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee
He is very meticulous, agonizing over every little detail on the map. After months of work, he nervously presents it to his client, who says it's perfect and commissions another big project. As he leaves the meeting, the cartographer takes a deep breath, turns to his assistant, and says, "I was really worried he wouldn't like it, but that was a huge relief."
None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
It is called RARA's Grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine
Wanting it to be finished as soon as possible, I told her that I would do most of the project as long as she would stay out of my way. I then realized that my computer was undergoing repairs so I asked her if she had any audio editing software. And let me tell you,
This bitch had the Audacity.
The director meets him, and is delighted "great to see you, Sean, its an honour to have you join us for this project" he says.
"The pleasure is mine" Sean replies, "though it's been a long drive and I'm tired. Is my room ready?"
"Of course, of course, I have your key right here", he says handing over the key. "I appreciate its quite late so we'll have a bit of a later start tomorrow. Are you happy to meet us in the lobby for ten-ish?"
"Tennish?" asks Sean, "but I didn't even bring my racket!"
... An old joke in honor of the great man.
Seams reasonable.
I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.
He's just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project
A. "Your contribution in this project is absolute zero"
A project manager.
She's in charge of spell-check.
The person pooping gets shit done.
I commented on that post
"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".
I thought it would be cool to tar up my driveway, but it ended up looking hideous. Can't even blame anyone, it's my own stupid asphalt.
On a Monday morning, Paul, Mike's job's teammate, noticed Mike was not around and asked the project manager
'Where is Mike'
Upon which the manager replied
'He is in the hospital'
Paul having just seen Mike yesterday asked in confusion
'But I saw Mike yesterday dancing with a girl.'
The manager looked at him and said
'Yeah, his wife saw him tooooo.'
"I'm ashamed of my shelf"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the project debrief jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working project project manager piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.