Project Jokes
127 project jokes and hilarious project puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about project that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking to lighten up the atmosphere and motivate your project team? Read this article to learn about project jokes and the importance of laughter and humour in project management. Discover the power of launching a comedic initiative to inject lightheartedness and energise your project team. Also, find out tips and tricks for successful project management.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Project Short Jokes
Short project jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The project humour may include short proposal jokes also.
- Why don't A.I. engineers need a resume? They just let their projects speak for themselves.
- When I die... I want the people who I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.
- Who is a Project Manager? Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.
- I've got an old project car that I named after my wife. I haven't turned her on in years, now it usually takes a garage full of men to get her motor running.
- Just recently, a multi-year project to renovate and restore London's historic landmark Big Ben was completed. They had men working around the clock.
- In high school, I presented a project on communism I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent.
- How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
- I wish that I could finish my time travel project And I also wish that I would stop bugging me yesterday while I'm working on it
- What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project?
[Made my roomie laugh at least] - If you're looking for men to date, don't go to bars, Go to home depot. It's 90% men, and they are already looking for projects to work on.
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Project One Liners
Which project one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with project? I can suggest the ones about program and budget.
- What do you call an engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator? A project manager.
- I've made an app to loosen the top of a ketchup bottle It's an open sauce project
- Where can I buy a gun? Don't worry, it's for a school project.
- A good project manager makes updates. A bad project manager makes up dates.
- My girlfriend called me a hologram I think she's projecting.
- My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!
- What did the counselor say to the hologram? You're projecting.
- Why did the narcissist buy a movie theater? They were good at projecting
- 4 women were working quietly on a project that's it
- What is the final project for a student in cooking school? A dessertation.
- What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing
- How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along? Sew sew
- Why did the open source code project owner cross the road? To git to the other side.
- I remember when my cloning project failed. A part of me died that day.
- What Olympic country is projected to win the most medals? Finland. They always Finnish.
Project Manager Jokes
Here is a list of funny project manager jokes and even better project manager puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A wise man once said Life becomes much more peaceful when you realize you are not responsible for the projections of others. …the movie theater manager then proceeded to reconsider his career.
- A classic project management joke. A woman can give birth in 9 months.
A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month. - Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger... She's in charge of spell-check.
- Project Manager Humor Why do Vampires make poor project managers?
Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders.
(why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?) - How to live forever? Hire a project manager to plan your death.
- My project manager hired nine women to my project so that they can deliver it in one month
Project Plan Jokes
Here is a list of funny project plan jokes and even better project plan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Planning to open a new shadow puppet show. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
- Sometimes people ask me to visualize my project plans.... But I Gantt even.
- I'm planning to name my project team - Storm Troopers We always keep missing the target... (yea, original, yea,qualifies as a dad joke)
Manhattan Project Jokes
Here is a list of funny manhattan project jokes and even better manhattan project puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb.
- My dad works on Nukes and told me this today What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake - The Manhattan Project was an urban development program It was designed to make city populations explode
- I really like the Manhattan Project It's the bomb.
Project Team Jokes
Here is a list of funny project team jokes and even better project team puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Watching this election has been like watching my fantasy football team on sundays... Always projected number 1 in points
( owning bell, brown, rodgers) , and always losing games
Delightful Fun Project Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about project you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mission jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make project pranks.
A couple of A list actors are at a casting meeting on a new project about famous composers.
Arnold Schwarzenegger chimes in "I'll be Bach"
A cow joke
Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.
A new project has started in Egypt;
The government has begun to put more cars on the road, ordering them to beep occasionally. As a result, the familiar sounds of the city will be returned in order to calm the residents of Egypt.
They have called this operation toot-and-calm-em.
How do you project confidence?
How do you project confidence?
Multiply by the cosine of the angle.
What are some good fruit jokes?
My friend is doing a video project for school and needs fruit jokes.
Velcro
I'm doing a project at home and went to the local arts and craft store for 2 metres of Velcro, wow it is so expensive. What a rip-off!
When I die, I want my group project partners to lower me in my grave
That way they can let me down one last time
Did you hear about Russia's preservation new project?
The Crimea River
What did the astronaut get on his science project?
He received a T minus.
The Chinese Phonebook
China decided to make their own version of the Yellow Pages, but with all the Wings and Wongs, and Chans it was a mess. Finally they had decided to cancel the project people would Wing the Wong numbers.
My boss recently fired me...
So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.
Why don't frogs use screws?
Because they prefer rrrrrivets.
*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*
Diminishing Return Joke (request)
Salesman: Lady, this vacuum cleaner will cut your house cleaning time in half.
Woman: Great, Gimme two of 'em!
*Does anyone know of any other jokes that demonstrate the Law of Diminishing returns? Its for a project I'm working on...
Did you hear about the prison escape?
Those guys found the convenience of Home Depot delivery really shaves time off a project.
Two women want to form a project group...
Turns out it was a real misfit.
When my doctor told me that I am able to astral project at night...
... I was beside myself
A physicist, a biologist, and a geologist walk into a bar.
The physicist immediately liquors up and attempts to pick up chicks with his top secret details about a new slightly-cooler-than-molten-hot fusion project he's working on.
The biologist attempts to pick up chicks with stories about him working with baby elephants in Thailand.
The geologist says "Ouch".
Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing?
All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia.
It's causing pandaneumonium.
I started a project to hire people with depression on my dairy farm...
if there's one thing they're good at its milking it.
I had a friend...
... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it.
I'm an attorney working on my fifth freelance project.
That guy really needs to stop getting arrested.
"Time is an arbitrary concept"
is apparently a bad way to explain to your boss why you missed the project deadline
My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project.
I remember the time I did that, in middle school.
Rings A Bell.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
Scientists Have Isolated a Single Unit of Potato and Taught it to Use 4chan
They've named the project Channing Tatum.
What did the Spanish linguistics project say to the other?
Eyyyy essay
Where did the lazy quantum mechanics student say his project was
in a box
So I've been digging into this whole Elon thing
I musk say that this whole boring machine isn't so. It's groundbreaking and I'm glad he decided to brake ground on this project
Scientists are testing new mind reading methods with ants
It sounds like a cool psy-ants project
TIL of a Nine Inch Nails and Tool collaboration project that never made it to the studio because of union issues
It was called Unlicensed Carpentry
Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.
Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.
Why didn't the loaf of bread help on the group project?
He felt like he wasn't *kneaded*!
Did you hear about the scooter project?
It ran successfully after it was kickstarted.
A CTO tells her programmers at work the same thing she tells her pregnant teenage daughter.
Just push it out and get feedback, or terminate the project.
CTO: chief technology officer.
What does a construction worker call a botched project?
Job security
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boss told me to execute his project plan.
So I killed it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a project co-produced by Spike Lee and Lauryn Hill?
Doo-w**... the Right Thing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the similarity between a woman and a project work?
You won't really be interested in em till you start analyzing em.
What did the Jewish Bostonian woman declare to her Sunday bridge group about her recent knitting project?
"I'm so AUtistic!"
Donald Trump and Mark Zuckerberg are collaborating on a project.
Donald is building a wall. Mark is selling ad space on the wall.
I have too many projects around my house...
I have my projects... and my wife has our projects...
I was part of a group project
With my wife.
I only put in 30 seconds of work but I still put my name on the birth certificate.
Why did the projectionist cross the road?
To get the other slides.
If while building a wood project you find that many of your nails are pointed on the wrong end
Don't throw them away. Save them for the opposite side of the project.
A friend calls his engineer friend
A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"
I work in construction and my name's John. I ran into another guy named John on a job, and he told me, "You know what they say, when you've got 2 Johns on a project...
you never have to wait in line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got fired for getting stressed and k**... the project I was working on.
I'm sorry, but defusing bombs just makes me really stressed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump said he would build a wall but he hasn't even picked up a brick yet.
He's just another middle aged man failing at a DIY project.
I'm working on a top secret project using honey to create alcohol
It's on a mead to know basis.
Need some meme ideas for school project, regarding the 16th century.
Canterbury tales, Shakespeare,Beowulf using these.
Give an Eevee a Water Stone and it turns into Vaporeon. Give an Eevee a Fire Stone and it turns into Flareon.
Give an Eevee a couple dollars every month for their art project and it turns into Patreon.
Working on a house project with my dad today... I say "Come here, I need another pair of eyes."
He says, without pausing, "i'd like to keep my eyes."
Classic dad joke moment in action.
How would a giant robot that's controlled by multiple people be rendered useless?
Make operating it a school group project!
Why did Darth Vader kill the craftsmen for not using varnish to finish his wood death star project?
Because his lacquer faith was disturbing.
Don and his friend Eva we're exploring caves in the town of Level for our palindrome school project
Eva said there were many things they could not do in caves. Don asked her a question using his knowledge from palindrome school. Don said, Eva can I stab bats in a cave . She said no don . Don then said, Eva can I pose as aesop in a cave . She again said, no don .
I was once grouped with my friend about a project on the Cartesian grid...
...i told him "I guess we're on the same plane then"
What is the most important project task of a grill master at a chop house?
To please their steakholders
Beating this pandemic is a group project.
This is why I always hated group projects.
Boo me all you like, I just made it up.
I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.
Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irritated and she leant over,startling me, and screamed PICK A BOO!
What an odd game to play with another adult in a library.
What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?
A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee
A cartographer is asked to make a giant topographic map
He is very meticulous, agonizing over every little detail on the map. After months of work, he nervously presents it to his client, who says it's perfect and commissions another big project. As he leaves the meeting, the cartographer takes a deep breath, turns to his assistant, and says, "I was really worried he wouldn't like it, but that was a huge relief."
