Project Engineer Jokes
8 project engineer jokes and hilarious project engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about project engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Project Engineer Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good project engineer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What do you call an engineer who doesn't know how to use a calculator?
A project manager.
Why don't A.I. engineers need a resume?
They just let their projects speak for themselves.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
A friend calls his engineer friend
A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"
My Engineering Physics Professor told me that I would pass my class "When pigs fly"
I studied hard and applied this wisdom to my senior project.
He never specified that the pig was required to ***sustain*** flight, but I'm assuming that's the reason why I was expelled.
What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project?
Krautsourcing
Glass half-empty or half full?
The optimist will say that the glass is half-full.
The pessimist will say that the glass is half-empty.
The engineer will say that the glass is 2 times bigger than it needs to be.
The politician will say that the glass would be more empty if the opposition were in charge.
The project manager will say that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The fanatic will say that the glass is full, even though it isn't.
The IT support person will say that you should try emptying the glass and then refilling it.
Anyone else?
Budgeting costs
The Italian government was getting ready to invest in a new software that would help them become more efficient. Three companies put bids forth and they turned out to be from different countries: China, Germany and Russia.
The Chinese bid was $1 million, which was quite cheap. The German bid was for $2 million. So, the project director brings them in, to question them why there was such substantial difference. The Germans explained that German engineering produces higher quality products, unlike the Chinese who create buggy software.
The Russians had bid $3 million. Well, they got brought in as well, and were told that the Chinese had bid $1 million and the Germans $2 million, and asked why was their bid so much more.
The Russian representative says: It's $1 million for you, $1 million for us and $1 million for the Chinese.
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